Management decided we had to improve a “customer satisfaction” statistic from surveys we collected from patients and other customers of our hospital. So they wanted us to show that we were willing to “go an extra mile” for customers.
We were directed, as official hospital policy, to conclude every single verbal exchange with a “customer” (and customers include cow-orkers as well) with the following phrase, word for word: “Is there anything else I can do for you? I have the time.” On the phone or in person.
Well, we didn’t, and we all knew it, and it became the biggest inside joke among the staff in years. Just saying it among staff would make every one of us within hearing burst into laughter. If the goal was to amuse us with the stupidity of senior management, it succeeded admirably
To their credit, management dumped the policy in about a year. But they replaced it with an even more asinine policy that lasted only about a month. If a visitor asked us about how to find some office or clinic or person, we were to find out if we didn’t already know, and personally escort the visitor to where they were going. Seriously! Even if there were other people waiting in line, or phones rining with no one else to answer them, we were to abandon our posts and walk people all to hell and gone. We all pretty much ignored this one.
I will never get how management actually buys in to such dumb ass ideas.