Your experiences with online personals

In My Humble Opinion
1

I just started checking out online personal sites for chuckles, and I got to wondering how representative my results were. So, naturally, I thought I’d ask youse guys.

  1. Have you tried it?

  2. How well did it work? I mean, did you get lots of spam, people who should have read your profile a little closer, etc.

I ask these questions because it really hasn’t lived up to my expectations. Conversations with women that I’m interested in, and whom I think are interested in me, dry up and blow away after a few days, while a friend at work gets phone numbers and has looong phone calls with women the first day. :wally I should be so lucky!

2

I was bored one night about two weeks ago and typed the name my hometown in the search box of a personals website. The search brought up the name of a girl in my county (which is small and rural). We’ve been emailing for a week, we’ve met for a chat, and we talked on the phone for almost two hours last night. I was the responder rather than the respondee so I can’t speak from that angle, but she seems normal and nice and we’re going out to dinner sometime early next week. You just never know, I suppose

3

I have some personals scattered around on various sites. I got one response through a Yahoo! personal and the guy put me in the Friendzone after one date (and never called me again). I responded to someone on another personal board and we also had one date, then he started making a lot of excuses for why he wasn’t able to see me again.

Through a site that lists profiles but not personals, I got one response and met the guy once to no mutual interest although he sends me “how ya doin’” emails every so often. Another guy from there had a spaz attack before we ever met and has thankfully faded away. I’ve emailed some people there but it seems people don’t check their mailboxes very often (one guy I emailed hasn’t been back to the site since before I emailed him months ago) so I don’t expect anything. I’ve been thinking about popping for a month of Yahoo! personal access but haven’t really decided to yet.

4

Instead of dating me (like he should) the guy I liked answered a personal ad and thought henceforth he had found the love of his life. She pretended to be his girlfriend for about a month and then proceeded to screw him royally (no pun intended) by calling him all the time and saying she did not intend to call him ever again etc. She also said she was not looking for a relationship (why place a personal ad then IMHO?). 'Nuff said.

So I guess my point is there’s a lot of weird people out there just looking for someone to inflict themselves upon…be wary and don’t take everything somebody says for granted.

5

Personals worked very well for me. I didn’t have any problems with spam. I exchanged e-mail with maybe 20 to 25 and IIRC, I met (11) and dated (4) very nice women, including my current GF. Maybe I was lucky, but I didn’t meet any wackos. Also, I’m older (over 50) and perhaps the women in my age range are more honest about who they are and what they are seeking. I was very upfront in my profile as to what I was looking for, and I was very selective. Maybe it was a little sterile, but if there wasn’t 95% in profile compatibility I didn’t respond to an add. Likewise, if I received a response to my add and I sure I wasn’t interested, I sent a polite reply saying so.

6

I signed up to one which you have to pay for because I wanted to do a keyword search and couldnt till I registered. But I’m not sure how well they work and am thankful you started this post because I’ve been wondering the same thing. So I do get replies but I havent replied back yet. I dunno, I’m too scared or I get weird replies too. Maybe I will fully register when I’m ready to try, in the meantime just checking out the site is good enough for me. Or maybe I’m just chicken.

7

I met the guy I’m currently dating online. Decided to give it a whirl after two different people at work found solid relationships that way. Posted ads in a few places in mid September. I met a few people for coffee, actually made it to a first “date” with one guy – fielded numerous offers to take care of any physical “needs” I might be experiencing. Met the current guy in mid November and we’ve been pretty steady since then.

Like DaToad, I’m older – 48 – and I think he’s right about people our age cutting the crap pretty much.

I’m still posted and I still get one or two nibbles a week – I guess I could take down my ads, but it’s interesting to see who contacts me. Relatively few of the indiscriminate “I haven’t actually read your ad” types. Spam isn’t a problem (I’m on MSN and their filters are pretty good).

I recommend it – it’s better than sitting home, and if you do the usual and meet somewhere public for coffee for the first meeting – which everyone understands as being how it’s done, so it doesn’t make you look paranoid – it’s safe. I met a couple of “characters” but no real wackos.

Just don’t take it too personally – which is hard, sometimes, but remember, if you write to someone and they don’t respond, it’s probably not actually about you.

8

Well, I’ve been on each end of the online dating equation;

With #1, I liked her > She didn’t like me (I was nervous and too talkative)

With #2 She liked me > I didn’t like her ( Guys, when they ask “What are you chicken?” - to come over at two AM…yes, you should be )

With #3 I was stood up at a streetcorner

With #4 We went for 3 dates but no further (probably my choice to bail)

And finally, (and I quote) after pouring the last of the sake on the first date and her third beer, she said, “are you going to drink that?”

Some observations:
It IS largely up to the guy to send mail first (why?), unless you are very eligible, and/or a lawyer. (or perhaps my sarcasm had gone too far)

Just because someone feels and sounds like they know you on the phone (at 2am) is no basis for a relationship. Wait for Daylight Chemistry.

Pay for dinner.

Just because she drives you back to your car doesn’t mean she likes you.

Shut up and let her talk.

Good luck to everybody who tries it, it beats coming home alone with clothing reeking of stale cigarette smoke.

9

will agree with previous poster on the fact that the male is behooved to send first mail… all the responses I get to my profile seem to be from “russian lady” scammers…

10

To those of you who have expressed some success/satisfaction with the process, I hope it’s ok if I jump in here and ask, what specific personals services would you recommend?

11

I tried it. Had a variety of experiences, ranging all the way from awful to humiliating.

No thanks; I’d rather be single.

12

A trip to Vegas or Amsterdam would be money better spent. :slight_smile:

Matchmaker.com seems to recently have an older crowd, gives a free week, no cookies or javascript necessary. Match.com seems to be better than I remember, free to browse but sending will cost ya. (get out your plastic) Be aware that these two (and others?) will automatically enroll you for another month which may? not be what you wanted. Hotornot.com seems to be a younger crowd? - demands cookies and javascript.

Either way, get a nice, clear, smiling photo of you looking your casual best.

13

I recommend it. I met a beautiful, intelligent woman online, and we’ve been dating for over four months now. I’ve been single and lonely for most of my life because of my shyness, so online personals have been a godsend for me.

14

I have to admit I’ve tried it a few times, but didnt have much luck. It usually either goes they are interested in you and your not or vice versa. Or my personally favorite, when you email each other a few times and then suddenly it stops for no apparent reason. The girls that I have actually met from the net are ones that I came across on some chat room and got to know well. But who knows, it may work for you.

15

I’ve met half a dozen guys through personals, and emailed with many more. In general, guys get fewer responses, and women get deluged with responses if they have a nice picture up. I had an ad without a picture, and mostly responded to ads with a personalized message picking up on something I liked about the guy’s ad. Of the guys I met:

#1 was no where near being over his ex, but not a bad dude.

#2 was the most enjoyable date I’ve had with someone I had no intention of seeing again. Nice guy, just in a different realm.

#3 was supposed to bring some friends to a blues club and hang out with my friends. Showed up alone, but happened to know my friend’s ex-roommate. Terrible, terrible date, but again, not a bad guy.

#4 stopped by my work incognito. I figured out who he was, so he asked me out. We hit it off over sushi, and made plans for the next weekend. He suddenly became “too busy to date for a few months.”

#5 very nice, laid-back guy. Just my speed, but no chemistry. We became platonic friends, then lost touch after I moved.

#6 emailed multiple times daily for a month. Planned second date before first took place. Met at the zoo and had a 6 hour first date. Dated for 10 months, and might still be together had I not moved 1,700 miles away.

I’ll definitely go this route again when I get back to civilization. Mainly, I trust my gut, and say whatever comes to mind in email. It will amuse the guys I’ll get along with, and either scare away or irritate those with whom I won’t. I tend to write long emails, so if the other person fails to keep up his end of the conversation, I figure they’re not worth meeting, either.

Have a good picture to post or send, trust your gut, and get a good BS meter. Take a break when it gets too taxing. Don’t use internet dating to the exclusion of other avenues. Above all, try to have fun, rather than looking at each date as the potential “one.”

16

I’ve tried it a bit. Everyone else has covered it pretty well. I’ve met some interesting women, had a few others just drop out of sight. It’s another way to meet people, but it’s not magic.

17

I’ve never had luck.

If you do respond, read the ad. If you don’t fit their criteria - it’s probably not worth responding. I’d say 90% of the men who answer my ad are 10 years or more above the listed age range (half of those exceed it by 15 years.) The rest have been less than literate.

18

I met Mrs. RickJay on one-and-only.com.

Since we’ve been together five years and are wildly in love, I’d say my experience was pretty good. How many guys can say they’re married to beautiful, intelligent women who enjoy cooking AND love playing video games? I can. If you’re smart in how you write your profile and who you reply to, you can meet some really nice, cool people.

Ironically, at the time I was using dating services I was also meeting and dating women from school. Date as many people as you can until you find the right one, that’s my philosophy.

19

ME!!! ME!!! ME!!!

20

I’ve been on 4 dates through Match.com. I only had a good time on one of them. The others weren’t bad - just nothing special. One of the disappointments for me was that 3 of the 4 girls I went on dates with were significantly larger than their profiles and pictures suggested.

Still, it’s a pretty good way to meet people if you don’t get out a lot.