This episode also contains the great line, “I’m a walking candy apple!”
The Burning
Elaine: David, I’m going to hell! The worst place in the world! With devils and those caves and the ragged clothing! And the heat! My god, the heat! I mean, what do you think about all that?
Puddy: Gonna be rough.
Elaine: Uh, you should be trying to save me.
Puddy: Don’t boss me! This is why you’re going to hell!
“It’s the beast!!!”
The Apology
Jerry is dating a hot woman who likes to walk around the apartment naked. He doesn’t find this all that appealing, leading to the whole “good naked” vs “bad naked” debate.
George is furious with an old “friend” (played by James Spader) who is going through a 12 step AA program and George thinks he is owed an apology for a joke made at his expense years ago about stretching out the neck-hole of a sweater.
Elaine is bothered that her germaphobic co-worker seems to think that Elaine is disgusting. Leading Elaine to grab the co-worker’s keyboard and rub it all over herself, then start coughing on her stapler and office doorknob to get germs all over them.
Kramer is trying to figure out how to spend his time in the shower more efficiently, and eventually winds up installing a garbage disposal into his tub drain.
Ultimately, Elaine finds out that Puddy is a germaphobe and she, Puddy, and her co-worker are all having dinner together at Elaine’s apartment along with Kramer, who provided the meal:
Kramer: “Yeah. And here’s to David Puddy for helping me install a much needed and much appreciated garbage disposal in my bathtub.”
Peggy: “You have a garbage disposal in your bathtub?”
Kramer: “Oh, yeah, and I use it all the time. Yeah, I made this whole meal in there.”
Elaine: “This food was in the shower with you?”
Kramer: “Mm-hmm. I prepared it as I bathed.”
everyone freaks out, yelling “Germs!”
Meanwhile, George had kept trying and failing to get a heartfelt apology from the Spader character. Instead, the guy keeps making comments and jokes about George’s fat head, prompting one of my favorite George-isms:
“He’s beboppin’ and scattin’, and I’m LOSIN’ IT!”
I guess I’m the outlier here because I liked the original premise of a show about nothing rather than a slapstick comedy filled with generally unlikeable characters. My favorite has always been the Chinese Restaurant. It’s an elegantly crafted, one location, real time one-act play.
I can’t remember the name, but the one where Kramer keeps hanging out at an old movie theater and telling Lloyd Braun he’s not crazy has a lot of hilarious moments. George trying to convince that woman he’s not insane is funny too. “He’s just wearing the glasses to fool Lloyd Braun!” “The John Voigt car is no more.”
I have fond memories of the “Boy-friend” episode with Keith Herdandez. (Which included the previously mentioned “latex salesman” plot).
JERRY: Keith Hernandez just asked me to help him move.
KRAMER: What? Well, you hardly know the guy…. What a nerve. You see wasn’t I right about this guy? Didn’t I tell you? Now, you’re not going to do it are you?
JERRY: … I said yes.
KRAMER: YOU SAID YES!? Don’t you have any pride or self respect? I mean, how
can you prostitute yourself like this? I mean what are you going to do? You’re going to start driving him to the airport?
JERRY: I’m NOT DRIVING HIM TO THE AIRPORT!
Anybody remember the name? I browsed through the episode lists at wiki but I can’t find it.
Love Puddy, High Five !!!
Obligatory youtube clip
Never mind.
Nope, it’s not the Andrea Doria (although it sounds similar).
Here’s what I remember:
The show opens with George relating the story of some pigeons he met in the park. They didn’t get out of his way when he was walking past. He then relates his theory about “the deal” between pigeons and humans: pigeons, since the beginning of time have gotten out of the way of humans. Later, Elaine relates a story about a pigeon that crashed into her head, and a bystander had commented that it was like the bird couldn’t get out of the way. At the end of the episode, George is trying to walk through some pigeons, and he steps on a bunch, causing a boy watching to cry.
You’re conflating two separate episodes: The Andrea Doria and The Merv Griffin Show
Yeah, that’s my favorite episode. It’s also the one with “The Pick”.
“When she came out of the bathroom, I was in there up to my wrist. You should have seen the look on her face!”
“I’ve seen that look”.
Neither one has the ending of the episode occurring in the park.
Iirc, the B story was George trying to figure out if a woman says “she has a boyfriend” she is actually lying because she doesn’t want to go out with you. I think this was why George was in the park so often.
I loved that episode for the storyline about George lying to the unemployment agency about looking for work at a certain latex manufacturer called “Vandalay Industries,” and giving them Jerry’s number and address for the fake business. The best part is when Kramer answers the phone while George is in the bathroom, and says “Vanda-what?”
George starts screaming, “Say Vandalay!! Say Vandalay!!,” comes running out with his pants down around his ankles and falls to the ground. The kicker is when Jerry walks in, sees him lying there on the floor and says “And you wanted to be my latex salesman.”
One that hasn’t been mentioned is The Fix Up, where Jerry & Elaine fix up George and Cynthia. It featured Maggie Wheeler (Janice of Friends) in a good performance, and one of the earliest TV show portrayal of condems and periods as routine things in life.
Kramer: So, Elaine, I’ll put you down for a gross (of condems).
Elaine: What do you think I am, a hooker?
That’s The Soup, which does not feature pigeon stomping of any kind. That occurs in The Merv Griffin Show. And the ending of The Soup is actually George sitting alone at Reggie’s because the girl he doesn’t know is his girlfriend works at Monk’s.
The Librarian… when Kramer and Jerry start fighting over the female libriarian… and Philip Baker Hall has that hillarious walk on and the Book Detective…
Bookman: Well let me give you a hint Junior, maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me maybe, sure were too old to change the world, but what about that kid sitting down, with a book right now and finding drawings of Pee-Pees and Wee-Wees, in a branch at the local library.
Elaine: Boys are sick. Jerry: Well what do girls do?. Elaine: We just tease someone, till they develop an eating disorder.
I always refer to one of my favorites as “Uncle Leo’s Eyebrows” even though that’s just one small gag. It’s the one where George has a crush one the one hour photo girl and flirts with her by having her delvelop boudoir style photos that Kramer takes of him. In the mean time Elaine can’t find a doctor to treat her for a rash because she’s been labelled as “difficult”. She gets Uncle Leo to let her pose as his nurse and accompanies him to the doctor after a package that was meant for Jerry blows up in his face, causing ringing in his ears and burning off his eyebrows. The doctor starts getting suspicious but excuses himself to get some cream and Elaine draws big, black eyebrows on him, making him look angry / demented. The doctor comes back and, alarmed, says “calm down” and “I don’t like your demeanor” then marks down in Leo’s chart that *he *is “difficult”.