PREFACE - this is meant to be fun and not mean-spirited. If you are thinking about using this thread to trash on…well, white trash, or talk disrespectfully of people, please just move along.
I had a friend from Fayetteville, AK. He always had a slew of what he called “Southern-isms.” He was very smart - top undergrad, law school - I think he used his Southern-isms to charm his way with people. Anyway, here’re a few of them:
“It was hotter than a fresh-fucked fox in a forest fire.”
“She looked like she fell off an Ugly Tree and hit every branch on the way down.”
“Oh man - feel like I been et by a bear and shit off a cliff.” (hungover)
I searched for a thread like this and didn’t do too well - if there is one, please post a link. Otherwise, what Southern-isms do you know?
To describe something that’s pretty cool, just say “Well that’s slicker than snot on a brass doorknob.”
Someone who is nervous is “jumpier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”
If you’re stuck behind someone who’s not moving particularly fast, that person is “slower than smoke on the water”.
A person deemed not especially bright is “a lost ball in high weeds”.
Also, it seems that when referring to a stupid person, the polite Southern follow-up phrase is “Bless his/her heart”, as in “That poor l’il ol’ girl is just a lost ball in high weeds, bless her heart!”
However, my very favorite Southernism, used to describe a fortunate turn of events, is:
My absolute favorite, uttered by a childhood friend who now lives in Tennessee, to his teenaged son (and in absolute jest): “You stop doin’ that or I’m gonna slap a knot on your head!”
I use it to this very day to play-threaten my son.
My mom’s a southern gal, I love all her funny expressions.
She got me going reading books by Jill Conner Browne, the first of which is “The Sweet Potato Queens’ Book of Love” I recommend it if you’re needing something silly and fun to read.
In her book, she explains the “bless his/her heart” expression. She said that using the bless your heart part was a way to insult someone while still being considered kind. (Or something like that)
Flightier than a fart in a wind storm was probably the funniest one.
For my favorite two, I go with Foghorn Leghorn: “That boy’s 'bout as sharp as a bowling ball.” & “Subtle as a hand grenade in a bowl of oatmeal.”
That’s prevalent in Florida too (Is FL considered “south”?), although it’s usually “not the sharpest knife in the drawer”. The “Bless her/his heart” thing is heard here too.
To describe someone who is nervously sweating: “Sweating like a preacher in an election”
My favorite is the “fell off the ugly tree and hit a few branches on the way down”
I’ve read all of Jill Conner Browne’s books. I love, love, love them and recommend them to all women with a good sense of humor, Southern or not.
On topic: “_____ as all get-out.” I’d never heard that until I moved to the South. It’s a great multi-purpose phrase, you can be “sexy as all get-out,” “crazy as all get-out” etc.
The correct pronunciation would be:
“You stop doin’t that or I’monna slap a knot upside your head!”
I’ve heard it - and it was always a play threat, never one that would actually be carried out.
Now that I’m in Ohio, I’m reading these and realizing that I’ve said them - and never thought anything strange of them. One of these days, they’ll slip out at work (“y’all” already does, but I don’t think it’ll ever go away). Now to figure out what it is that I say that’s unusual - but I don’t think I’ll really know until someone looks at me funny, trying to figure out what I meant.
The latter are, technically, formal wear. At least in Mexico. I have some that look like the “Fisher” style in the second link, and they’re extremely comfortable.
Some “huaraches” are very informal sandals or thongs made from discarded tires… these are fun, but I ain’t talkin’ about zapatas de las maquiladoras.
(You gotta slur yer words a bit, sometimes)
When you see, hear, or smell something disgusting: “That could gag a maggot.” If’n it’s really bad, “That could gag a healthy maggot.”
conversation about supper:
