Minor nit; Fayetteville was in Arkansas last time I went to watch the Hogs play – not in Alaska 
Now to your topic: One of my Dad’s sayings when observing a buck-toothed gal (there were a lot of 'em back in AR) was
“She could bite a bear on the butt through a picket fence”
Said of a pretty woman: “Ah’d drink her bathwater.”
Another favorite from my Dad: “More broke up than a bag of assholes.” I think he was talking about the landscaping work in progress in our backyard.
Well, bless your heart.
I grew up in rural North Carolina, so I think I can add a few…
Hungry enough to “eat the ass-end out of a running skunk.”
When nearing the completion of a task we are “in the short rows now.” This is a reference to harvesting (priming) tobacco by hand when the shorter rows were saved until last.
Something unpleasant is like “getting hit in the face with a wet squirrel.”
When someone isn’t around and we don’t know why, then clearly they “went to shit and the hogs got him.”
Jammer
That reminds me of the phrase that describes ladies like that:
“She wouldn’t say Shit if she had a mouth full of it!”
[QUOTE=pullin]
Minor nit; Fayetteville was in Arkansas last time I went to watch the Hogs play – not in Alaska
[QUOTE]
wayulll, sheeeit…
(hey, at least you didn’t say “bless your heart” to me!)
And I knew we had threads similar to this - thanks, SHAKES
I always heard this as “He broke his leg and we had to shoot him.”
I know a ton of 'em, but my mind has gone plumb blank!
A southern guy I worked with once described a lazy coworker as “useful as tits on a boar-hog.”
(About a homely woman) She’d make a steam train take a dirt road.
(Injury) He’s all stove up.
(Amazement) Oh, my staaawrs, ‘n’ little hoppy toads.
“We’ll be there, Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise.” --Lady Bird Johnson
and my favorite,
“Boy, ah’m gon’ hit chew so haaawrd, you gon’ hum like a ten-penny finishin’ nail been hit by a greasy ball peen hammer !” --Brother Dave Gardner (I hope I got his last name right)
That bughunter means well, but, bless his heart, sometimes he’s just a ball lost in high weeds.
One I heard from Star Jones on the View:
When she was being corrected by her mother…
“Girl, if you don’t behave, I’m gonna slap the black right off you!”
:eek:
“She was as ugly as ten miles of bad road, and twice as rough.”
Some of mah fav-o-rahts:
I’ll slap you nekkid. Variation: I’ll slap you nekkid into the middle of next week.
Scare a dog off a meat wagon.
Anyone who’s had a yard dog knows that yard dogs are prone (bad to even) run off with other yard dogs, be gone a few days and come back all beat up. This is known as a “dawg party.”
Southern little old ladies are referred to as dear ol’ thangs. “Bless her heart, she’s a dear ol’ thang.”
Dear ol’ thangs are prone (bad to) run around screaming: “Law!” “Law! Now where did I put muh handbag!”
If you are making a lot of something down south it’s a “mess.” A mess of greens. A mess of fried chicken.
Drunker than Cooter Brown. Ol’ Cooter was bad to drink.
Well, Ah swannie!
-swampbear (Y’all take keer now ye heah?)
I always thought bugdust was another word for coal dust.
Which reminds me of something my West Virginia-born dad said once, after watching someone get dogpiled in a football game:
“He’d a broke his dick if he’d a-had a hardon”
She’d make a hog back up an’ spit!
Sort of like fly speck. It was a very cute euphemism for shit. Grandma might have bought the coal theory, though. 
When I moved up north, I was informed that fixin’ and might could were not “real” words. Especially might could. They just couldn’t get it.
My favorite (as others have said) is “she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down”.
Gotta love the South!
didn’t see this’un listed yet
“Well shit fire and save matches”
I’m surprised this one hasn’t been posted yet:
“She looks like she was rode hard and put up wet.”
I’ve only ever heard it in reference to women, and at first, I was convinced that it was a lot dirtier than it is. It means so-and-so looks like a horse that was taken out, rode hard, and put away without being cleaned up.