How did the shepard find his sheep in the tall grass?
Very satisfying.
Q. What’s 18" long, and makes women scream?
Crib death
What’s pink and wrinkled and hangs out grandad’s pants?
Grandma.
What’s the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?
You can’t make a vitamin…
Or:
If you can make a hormone, you don’t need any vitamins…
Oh, NOW you got me started.
Q: What is red and green and goes 500 miles an hour?
A: A frog in a blender
Q: What’s black, white and red and turns over and over?
A: A wounded nun rolling down a hill.
Q: What’s the difference between an epileptic cornhusker and a hooker with dysentery?
A: One shucks between fits and the other…
Q: What’s the difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl?
A: One shoots and shoots and never hits…
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
P.S…Ah, sqube … Huh?
What’s black and white and has trouble going through revolving doors?
A nun with a spear through her head.
heheh. I kill me.
Q. Why does miss piggy douche with honey and vinegar?
A. Kermit likes sweet -n- sour pork.
What’s green and smells like pork?
Kermit’s middle finger.
What’s brown and drips from the attic?
The diarrhea of Anne Frank.
How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the bulb, and the other to hold the penis… sorry, ladder.
Whats funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit
Whats Blue and doesn’t fit?
A dead epileptic
How do you get a baby into a bowl?
Use a blender.
How do you get the baby out?
Nacho chips.
how do you get your dog to stop humping your leg?
pick him up and jerk him off till he’s satisfied
Q. What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A. It’s true! We do taste like chicken!
A bear and a rabbit were walking through the woods. They met on the path so the bear stopped to ask the rabbit, “Excuse me. Does shit stick to your fur?” The rabbit replied, “No.” So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit!
Q. Why do farmers fuck sheep at the edge of a cliff?
A. So the sheep will push back!
Casey1505stole my favorite sick joke.
In line with the thread title and at the behest of a non-registered friend:
Q. What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
A. Nothing, you already told her twice.
Q. Why do women have short feet?
A. So they can stand closer to the stove.
Q. Why do women get pregnant?
A. Because it hurts and they deserve it.
ducks and runs
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
see dogzilla’s post first
the same bear and the same rabbit find a leprechaun who grants them each two wishes
the bear says “I’ll go first,” " I want to be the most attractive bear in all the forest"
leprechaun makes it so, turns to the rabbit “what’s your first wish?”
rabbit says “I want a motorcycle”
leprechaun (with a quizzical look) makes it so, “your second wish mr. bear?”
Bear says “I want the forest rid of all other male bears so I will have no competition for female bears”
“Done” says the leprechaun “your final wish rabbit?”
Rabbit hops on the motorcycle, kicks it started says: “I want the bear to be gay” and speeds away.
Has anyone heard of the Tempura House?
It’s a shelter for lightly battered women