Your favourite bathroom graffiti

One of my all-time favorites was on a condom machine:

For refund, bring baby to the bar

Well I did list on at the other sight. Same school differant bath room.

GOD is dead
“Time Mag”
GOD is alive
“Billey Grahm”
Who is Billey Grrahm

Spelling and grammer subject to change without notice.

In the bathroom of a college physics building:
“Heisenberg might have been here.”

(It’s not original, but still funny.)

Or the variation:

Here I sit on this porcelain pooper,
Giving birth to another State Trooper.

Another perennial favorite in college dormitories:

Flush twice, it’s a long way to the cafeteria.

A cafe near the Charles Bridge in Prague has a small reproduction of the Venus de Milo in the men’s loos. Some drunken stag-nighter scrawled ‘Small tits!’ in the relevant location, opening up the door for the reply: “But firm!” below in a different hand.

“Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards. It makes them soggy and difficult to light.”

My fave is unusual in that it has no profanity, and also because of it’s longevity…I first came across it in 1990, and I think it’s still there. You can find it scratched on a men’s stall in the South Watchman Campground at Zion Nat’l Park. Beneath a simple drawing of an owl, the text reads:

“The Blind Owl Sees All!”

“Sees What?”


My all time favourite is the one from Sydney University, someone wrote:

My mother made me a homosexual

and someone added:

If I get her the wool will she make me one too?

Ah, I came here just to mention that one. A classic!

My 2nd favorite from the University of Illinois:

$25 Fine for eating Urinal Cakes

The anarcho-hippie-pinko-punko East Quadrangle of the University of Michigan in the late '80s was a haven for surreal graffiti (and not just in bathrooms). Someone turned a large pre-fab sticker on a maintenance room door into an arresting little prose poem:


And it must have been a restive political mind with no burning issues to engage it on a boring Friday night who traipsed down to the dumpster dock with Magic Marker in hand (and probably Mickeys Malt Liquor in the other) to scrawl in huge letters the never-to-be-completed thought:


In an Alabama truck stop restroom"

No use tryin’ to straddle the seat
The crabs in here can jump thirty feet

I don’t see how this is even vaguely Cafe Society (arts & entertainment), so I’m moving it to MPSIMS.

From Kelly’s bar in Kansas City Mo circa 1975
“I feel more like I do now, than I did when I got here.”
I had to go back a number of times to re-read, to tell the people I was with. Of course I was too drunk to think about writing it down, so here it is, engraved in my brain 30 years later. :rolleyes:

In the fieldhouse at the University of Chicago, in probably 1975-76:

Richard Nixon took his wife to see Deep Throat 4 times before he finally got it down Pat

Molly Brown, Molly Brown,
No one claimed to lay her down.
Then over the hills came Piss-pot Pete
with 20 lbs. of swinging meat.
Pete stuck Molly in the ass.
Molly passed one hell of a gas.
Then over the hills flew Piss-pot Pete
with 20 lbs. of shredded meat.

Broadway Joe’s Bar, Buffalo, NY, circa early 1990s

This is one that I did. Where I used to work (this has nothing to do with the “used to” part of that), I noticed that the men’s room had a large number of boogers on the wall right next to toilet (it was a pressroom, so the dust from the printing presses and the dry air probably was responsible for the high booger count). So, one day I took a pen with me and wrote “Wall of Boogers. Place your contributions below.” A few weeks later, someone added “Grow up!”

The Simpsons recently referenced Bart’s “Booger Wall” in his treehouse and it brought back fond memories.

This was a sign I saw on a bathroom door in Nevada. I was glad I didn’t have to go too bad. see why

“Love means its wet when they stick their dirty fingers in it” - Ghandi

Snake and Jakes Xmas Club Lounge, New Orleans, LA

Somehow I doubt ghandi said that

This reminds me of a similar exchange on a wall above a urinal at the college I attended. Attempting to make a racial slur, somebody had posted NUKE NIGERS. The response: Niger is the name of a country in Africa. It’s also a river that flows through that part of the continent. There really isn’t that much there worth nuking.

Kegg: I’ve seen this version of the one you posted:

"God is dead." – Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. – God

“The scent of man, the consumption of space.”

Stedelijk Museum, Amsterdam.