Your Gay Lifestyle. What's it like, really?

In My Humble Opinion
1

In this thread, Polycarp brought up this excellent point:

He then went on to describe his day with his wife, as a means of showing what a relationship is really all about. He theorized that gay relationships are similar. Two people loving each other, supporting each other, being together, enjoying each others’ company.

So, I thought I’d share my gay day with you, in hopes of giving people a picture of what it’s like to be me, in a relationship with a wonderful guy.

My first impression of the day was the blurry moment in the morning when my boyfriend got up to go to work. He tries hard not to wake me, but I always notice.

Later on, I woke up. I’m unemployed, and taking programming courses online, so my schedule is pretty much my own, and I’m a night owl. I went through my usual routine of lessons and some light housekeeping looking forward to the evening. We’ve cut down to two nights of TV a week, but we pack a lot into them; tonight is Gilmore Girls, Smallville, and Buffy, and tomorrow is Everwood, Angel, and West Wing. I usually cook on TV nights, so I hit the store and got some pork chops (on sale!) and cereal, and the Hot Pockets that the Visiboyfriend likes, 'cause I knew he was out.

The boyfriend came home for lunch, and talked a bit about his day; he’s pretty stressed lately, as his delivery truck got rear-ended a few days ago, and between missing some work time and all the paperwork hassles, work is piling up. I muttered encouraging things, and then he went back to work, and I delved further into the mysteries of C#, making sure the chops were marinating first.

My boyfriend got home a bit late, just as dinner was ready, so we dug in and watched the Daily Show, while our dogs (we have two of them) tried to contain their anticipation. You see, we usually walk them right when the boyfriend gets home, so they were a bit puzzled as to why we were eating, and not walking them. After dinner, there was the usual round of “Where should we go on vacation? How about… Milwalkie? Or somewhere like… Walkieegan?” Drives the pups nuts. Usually results in one or more beverages being whipped off the table by wagging tails.

While wandering about the neighborhood, dog leashes firmly in hand, we recounted the events of the day. His crazy boss, and her lunatic Stalinist management tactics. My new paperwork hassles with the school I’m in. The repairs being done to his work truck. His shoulder, by the way, is fine; the big doses of ibuprofen he’s been prescribed helped, apparently, and now all he’s dealing with is heartburn.

When we returned, he made a couple of calls on an old loan matter that’s cropped up, and then watched E! while working on a practice piece he’s been knitting. Yeah, he learned how to knit recently. He always wanted to learn, and confessed it to me weeks ago, and I told him to ask my Mom to show him how. She really loved teaching him, and now he’s showing her how to do things.

But once seven rolled around, we gathered about the new entertainment center (actually the old entertainment center, newly restained and with a bookcase added on) and watched Gilmore Girls. We have two big couches, in an L, and we each lie on one, with our heads near each other. We hold hands on and off while watching, except when he’s trying to sneak his hand up my t-shirt to feel my chest. Which he does because he knows I’m extremely ticklish.

Three hours went by, with us lounging, eating ice cream, one of the dogs under the coffee table near us, the other one sprawled out along the back cushions on the sofa. Good TV. We talked about the new Buffy developments while we take the dogs around the block for their evening constitutional.

He got ready for bed, and I booted up my computer, and soon he came in to say goodnight. We told each other how much we love each other.

Soon, I’ll realize that I’m tired, and sneak into our bedroom, trying not to wake him up, but he’ll notice. He always does. And I’ll get into bed, and turn off the light, but not before I’ve looked at his sleeping face a while, and wondered at how incredible it is that I’ve found this great, kind, caring, handsome man to love, and that I’ve earned his love. And then I’ll go to sleep.

And that brings you up to date. It’s not a thrilling action-packed lifestyle; sure, we go out bowling, and have a group of friends who come over to play board games every week, but it’s what we both have always wanted. We’re making a home together, being a family, being there for each other, helping each other in all sorts of ways. It’s a life.

There are as many gay lifestyles as there are gay people. Except we don’t call them lifestyles; we call them our lives. In the interest of familiarizing some people who don’t know many of us GLBT people, would anyone else like to share a bit about what gay life is really like?

2

I awoke this morning with a call from my GF as often times I do. She was happy and asked me if I wanted to go to the Zoo with her because it was finally a sunny and fairly warm morning. I got up, dressed up in some jeans and a tshirt and got ready to drive over to my GF’s house. Well I got there and she was ready to go. We drove the few miles to the zoo and paid the admission and went inside. Well after making our way around the zoo we stopped to rest and my GF said she wanted to take some pictures of me so I posed ever so geekily on a bench as she snapped a few. I also took a few of her.

Next we left the zoo and decided it was time for lunch. We went to a Mexican Restaurant and pigged out. If we both didn’t have to work later on we would have enjoyed a few drinks but oh well, pepsi was ok. Often times on other occasions we would order some take out and go over to her house and eat and watch a movie or something.

Anyways, after lunch we ended up back at her house and just sat around and talked while untill it was time to go to work. We both worj at the same place so I can see her alot more during the night.

WEll work comes around, I am a casshier at the Capital Hill grocery store and she is in charge of Produce. Sometimes she amazes me at how good and helpfull she is with people, she is a friendly girl and I often wish I could be as friendly and cheerful. She is a great people person and sometimes I notice people will stop by and talk to her or make sure they ask her for help. Other than this, work was uneventfull and time did seem to go by pretty fast.

Tonight after work I just decided to come home, it was a long day and I was very tired. I got on the INternet awhile than got out some macaroni salad I brought home from work. Then in a short while I will get to sleep.

For the most part this is a typical day. Sometimes as can often happen with other couples, straight or gay, we will stay at one or the others house for the night.

Other than the fact that we are both Females, it is no differant than any other couple. We are happy, we have fun, we share alot of things together and we often take a full day off to do something together.

3

Was woken from my nightly coma with a cup of tea by mrsIteki as this was one of the rare days my unemployed self goes to work. She was already showered and dressed, even though we leave the house at the same time, she can’t go to work looking and feeling like a zombie. I can :smiley:

I got home first, and sat on my bum playing with my computer till she got home. We went through our standard “welcome home” ritual, which is the same one we had when I was working and she wasn’t, hugs in the hall, one takes the bags into the kitchen while the other takes of their shoes and hangs up their coat, and then out to the kitchen for a smoke under the extractor-fan-thingy over the stove. We sit opposite eachother, always the same way, me with my back to the window because I am taller and it keeps the sun out of her eyes while we catch up on what happened at work. Once work chat is out of the way, “our day” begins.

We unpacked the groceries lauched and complained about having forgotten to buy sugar for my tea for the 5th time we have been to the store. Must remember to get it today, and cheese, we need more cheese for sammiges. We sat around listening to music and playing video games until we started whining “I’m huuungry” at eachother. Whoever gets sick of the whining first cooks, usually. I generally win. This time however, I ended up on kitchen duty. I am great at cooking big meals like sunday dinner, but not to great at “quick supper for two” so mrsIteki was a little suspicious of my offerings (a sort of rice soup with corn and dry-roasted peanuts… don’t ask…) but admitted it was very nice and I could make it again :smiley: We hung out in the sitting room for the rest of the evening, listening to CDs and gossiping with friends on the net. We really need more furniture, cos I want to be able to snuggle on the couch (need a couch first). We were both totally busted, so we went off to bed at 9, but ended up chatting for 2 hours instead of going to sleep. It may not be an exciting life, but it is a good one, and we like it. A lot.

MrVisible, can I steal this quote? I love it. “Except we don’t call them lifestyles; we call them our lives.”

4

Woke up alone (we don’t live together), showered and went to work. Drove home on an alternate route because I heard there was a traffic snarl only to find that there was no snarl and the alternate route led right to where the snarl was supposed to be, only it took longer to get there. Grr. Fed the cats and then drove to the Cajun takeout place to pick up dinner for us. Went over to his place where we ate and watched HGTV (he’s obsessed with HGTV). Did some naughty things and then went to sleep.

Was awakened by his mentally unbalanced cat and the sounds of him in the shower. Got dressed, arranged to call each other later today and I went home, stopping at the post office first to discover that my CDs of Hairspray and Mamma Mia! were here. Showered, changed clothes and drove to work. And now here I am. What an exciting lifestyle we lead.

5

Great post, MrVisible!!!

This morning my bf and I were awoken by the alarm clock; he snoozed for another five minutes while I got up and brewed coffee. I woke him with a cup made the way he likes it (1 tablespoon of French Vanilla creamer and a packet of Nutrasweet).

He showered and dressed while I got his lunch together. Since I’m unemployed right now, he left and I got started on the laundry and cleaning. When he gets home, I’ll cook dinner and we’ll talk about our plans for another trip to NYC. I’ll watch American Idol’s results show while he plays Civ III.

6

Lesse. Yesterday, I got up about five minutes before the alarm rang, and my wife blearily slapped it off before it could. I was happy because it was finally sunny out again, and I get grumpy when it rains too much.

I fed the goldfish in the tank on the bureau, and turned on their light. I got dressed.

My wife showered and dressed while I checked e-mail. I showered right before bed, so I was set. I do my e-mail, then hers, then two shared boxes, just cleaning out the spam and tidying the boxes up.

I got together a plate of leftovers for my lunch and stuck it in my bag. She made me celery with peanut butter for a snack, and I stuck in an apple for the other snack. She fed the cat and the other tank of tropical fish. She made sure that I had my book, keys and sunglasses. She asked me if I was sure that I wanted to wear my blue sandals, because they hurt my feet last time. I said “yeah.”

She walked me to work. It’s just a five-minute walk, but she walks me every day. Up to my desk, and she checks my fish to make sure that he’s still alive. Everything is well, so she gives me a peck and leaves to go home. I hung up the pokemon calendar that she made for me and started work.

She got home, did the dishes and made her own lunch. We talked by e-mail until eleven, when she had to leave for work. Just jokes and 'check this out - look at all the really horrible cartoons that DIC has inflicted on us over the years!" I think that she was looking for good pictures of Link from Legend Of Zelda fame. Didn’t find any there, that’s for sure.

She called me with a question related to my job around two, when I was in a meeting. I call her back with the answer and we chatted for a couple of minutes.

My sister e-mailed me at work and asked my advice on what sort of digital camera to buy. She was pretty set on getting one that records onto floppy disks, but I managed to talk her out of that.

I got out of work at 4:30, and walked home. I took a shower and read until 5:45, when I left to go get my wife and walk her home. I didn’t wear the blue sandals, because they had hurt my feet.

At work, my wife said “guess what? You sister bought this. She wants you to show her how to use it.” and handed me a digital camera, in the box. I fiddled with it for a few minutes until I had it well enough in hand to explain. She closed up shop and did the lockdown procedure. My sisters showed up and we went for creemees. I showed my sister how to use her new camera, which is pretty neat.

They dropped us home, and my wife tossed me a package. It was Pokemon Snap for the N64 - I’d gotten it through swappingtons. I wanted it for my 5-year-old nephew to play. He loves games, but we don’t have many his speed. We mostly have pretty intensive RPGs like Legend of Dragoon and Dark Cloud. Last time he was over, I helped him play Monster Rancher 2 for about an hour (there’s a lot of reading involved) but I wanted him to have something that he could do mostly by himself, he doesn’t like to rely on other people to help him much.

We played Pokemon Snap for an hour or so, and then I made supper. She fed the cat. I let her do it because one day last week, he managed to con a serving of evening wet food out of each of us. Tricker. Now I just let her do it.

We ate, I made up a plate for me to use today for lunch out of leftovers, and then we played for another hour or so, taking turns at snapping the pictures. Other than the occasional “in your FACE, space coyote!” it was a quiet night.

Then we went to bed. It’s not a terribly exciting life, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. We have a strong, quiet love that runs through everything we do. I always know that she loves me, and she knows that I love her. No matter what else, we always know that.

7

This is highly distressing. You queer as folks are most un-fabulous.

8

Well I’ll give you 2 stories…

the first was my life about 2 years ago - pre-bf and living in Dupont Circle
the second is current living in Kensington with bf

Pre-bf…typical Friday/Saturday
Wake up in the morning, jump out of bed and immediately regret that action due to the alcohol consumption of last night. After my wooziness settles I make my way to the bathroom and get ready for the office…walk to the metro, pick up newspaper and spend an hour getting to work. While away the hours at work and leave around 5ish. Stop at the SafeWay and FreshFields to pick up some food which will serve as dinner. Watch some tv, read some cd reviews online. Towards 9 I’ll jump back in the shower, spend 45 mins figuring out what to wear, and meet up with my friends for the night. Start off with Cosmo’s, switch bars and drinks (vodka+ginger), move to a club and settle on Corona’s…spot a hottie on the dancefloor, proceed to make eyecontact - failure. Oh well on the another…3am, club closes, and I leave with my beau for the night…

Saturday morning, I get up, gather my clothes and grab a cab home. Hop in the shower, and walk over to Dupont Circle, stop to get a coffee and the paper. Sit in the circle for the remainder of the day, basking in the sunshine, meeting up with friends to discuss last night…till evening comes around and the procedure starts over.

Fast forward to 2 years later
Wake up, carefully try to get out of bed, not to wake bf - fail miserably. I head to the bathroom and get prepared for the day. Head into kitchen, prepare b’fast and lunch and leave for work. BF wakes up round 10, gets ready and heads of to school. While away the hours at work (some things never change) and make my way home around 5. BF most of the times is home by the time I get there. We talk about our day, cuddle a little before I head into the kitchen to prepare dinner. BF starts homework. I normally watch tv or read while bf finishes homework or works on his paintings or his play…Go to bed around 11:30, bf joins me around 1, wakes me up, we get into some naughty stuff and then fall sound asleep. Till alarm goes off in the morning and the day repeats itself…

9

Boy, don’t I know it.

10

Well, my sweet man and I don’t really have a routine - our chosen professions have a way of messing with routine. He works in advertising, which means that he may work long, long days or may have to up and leave town for a few days to go on production. I am trying to find a balance between my insurance company day job, my other “job” of writing music, and the other jobs of listening to / learning new music, reading, and practicing clarinet.

That said, a typical day involves the following: I always wake up first on weekdays. After the alarm goes off, we snuggle quietly like any couple. Then I get ready for work, and wake him up before I leave. E-mails will be exchanged throughout the day (usually about threads I’m reading on SDMB or snopes). After work, we get together at one of our respective homes, and either make dinner or go to a neighborhood place. Going to a neighborhood place usually ends up eating the whole evening.

We enjoy going out to clubs sometimes - a little less than we used to, but we both chalk it up to a case of the winter blahs. I go to orchestral concerts on an average of once a week, and sometimes he comes with if I think it’s going to be a concert he’ll particularly enjoy. We watch movies together. On Saturdays, we tend to stay apart and do our own thing - at least until the evening.

The majority of my friends are straight. Getting to know them has proved that my “gay lifestyle” isn’t any different from their straight one. Most differences have to do with the fact that I’m a musician (which is a deviant lifestyle in itself ;)), and not the fact that I’m gay.

11

Heh. Must be time for a single DopeDyke to check in!

I woke up this morning, a little tired from a few too many late nights having hot netsex with a girlie living in another state.

As I rolled over, my doggies started running about, wagging their tails, very excited that I was finally awake.

I opened the front door and let them out then wandered back inside for my morning visit to the bathroom. Had a shower, put some fresh clothes on, went outside to sit on the front step.

Am between jobs right now, so watched the world go by for a while.

Went inside, did a couple hours study. Got online and saw netsex-girl online so chatted to her for a bit.

Installed win2k server on a second machine so I can fiddle with a few network scenarios. Stoopid MCSE. Berated myself for hating study.

Had a nap, woke up and had a solo sex session featuring netsex-girl. Was rudely interrupted by a phone call from one of my best friends. Abandoned my daydreaming to go have dinner with him. His shout, even better!

Had a lovely dinner with him, chatting about life, the universe and everything. Chatted about how he misses his wife (she’s been posted interstate). Decided to go check out some sex shops. Chatted about dildos and vibrators.

Stopped at one of his clients’ sites to check up on their backups and reconfigure some stuff in Exchange. Hugged him goodbye and went home… got straight online and saw this thread!

Couldn’t resist posting, so here it is. My single gay life.

:smiley:
Max.

12

On a typical workday:

8:15-8:30 - Wake up to my phone ringing from the wakeup service.
5 - minutes later: Promptly fall back asleep.
8:45 - Wake up to the return call from the wakup service. Rush out of bed to lift some weights. (Working on the girly arms you see.)
9:05ish to 9:20 - Shower, shave, brush teeth etc, feed the cat, and then rush out the door to get to work by 9:30.
9:25: Frantically looking for a parking space but then relax.
9:30-9:45 Mosy on into work, hope no one saw me come in late if I was late.
9:45 - 12:00 - surf the web, checking personal email, write some databases or reports, respond to all incoming email in my inbox (work email), think about lunch.
12:00 - fizzle out and play a game of Go online.
12:45 - 1:45 - head out the door for lunch, either eat in the shopping mall down the street and make notes on all the strange people I see, go pee (and check out some dick…but don’t do anything there since I would rather not go to jail…laugh at the homeless person jacking off against the wall), and come back to work… or grab a quick lunch and eat at my desk, play go, surf the net, etc.
1:45-5:00 -Play with databases, get bored, post on the SDMB and read email, then go back to the databases.
5:00 - 6:00 - Figure out what I can put off until tomorrow for work. Play Go online if I can get away with it. Wait until all the coworkers leave and then leave after them. Unless of course they don’t leave until after 6 (which usually doesn’t ever happen) in which case I leave at 6.
6:00-7:00 - Go home, feed the cat, get undressed, and lounge around on the PC, chatting before deciding what to do for dinner. Usually have the TV on and semi watch the Simpsons.
7:00-10:00ish - Go to dinner with friends. Sometimes this turns into a sex date.
9/10:00ish - Midnight: Chat more with friends, write music/poetry/short fiction, or read a book. Set up a date for later in the week. Make sure it doesn’t overlap previous dates.
Midnight - 1:30 - Wind down the chatting, head off to bed, play guitar for a little while, may chat on the phone with some friends or family in far away time zones, go to bed.

Repeat.

On one of the fabulous workdays:

8:15-8:30 - Wake up to my phone ringing from the wakeup service.
5 - minutes later: Promptly fall back asleep.
8:45 - Wake up to the return call from the wakup service. Rush out of bed to lift some weights. (Working on the girly arms you see.)
9:05ish to 9:20 - Shower, shave, brush teeth etc, feed the cat, and then rush out the door to get to work by 9:30.
9:25: Frantically looking for a parking space but then relax.
9:30-10:30 - Mosy on into work, hope no one saw me come in late if I was late.
10:30 - Noon - Respond to all work emails, check personal emails, set up a sex date for later in the afternoon.
Noon - 1:00 - Have a light lunch and/or play a game of Go.
1:00-5:00 - Corrupt the minds of innocence, I mean post on the SDMB. :smiley:
5:00 - 6:00 - wind down for the day, and have sex date planned for later.
6:30 - Feed the pussy.
7:00 - Midnight Go on date, eat dinner, make hot monkey love, fall asleep in his arms, kick him out of bed or leavethat night (if the sex was just ok) or the next morning (if the sex was good). If the sex was good, make plans for a repeat visit in a week. He has to be on certain nights, so not to conflict with other upstanding sex dates.

Repeat.

13

Well, I don’t know about you guys, but my partner and I do lead incredibly glamorous and fabulous lives. In fact, so many straight couples we know (including our parents, believe it or not), have started to emulate us. We couldn’t be happier!

Rather than give you a moment by moment transcription, I thought it would be best simply to give some of our most cherished highlights.

[ul]
[li]Work - He leaves the house each day to go out and make a wage. What a guy. Such dedication! The people he works with know that it is a sacrifice we make for the greater good of civilization, and generously go out of their way to help ensure the proper atmosphere of toil and strife. I ask you, what is sacrifice without toil and strife?! Unfortunately, I was recently laid off. (I know, imagine a company not wanting me to work for them! I was as surprised as anyone! But I digress…) I would also like to contribute to society in this way, but alas, too many people are overawed by my fabulous lifestyle that it’s been difficult to find the right opportunity.[/li][li]Arguing - Though we don’t always do this, we do it frequently enough that it must be one of our most favorite things. Usually it’s about something really minor, and most often the cause can be traced back to poor communication. Sometimes it’s about core relationship things, and those can lead to pretty loud and emotional arguments. Totally fab, you know![/li][li]Worrying about Money - As I mentioned before, I have been laid off. So, we’ve looked at our budget and see that we can get by for a while as I look for the right job and not necessarily the first job I find. So, whenever we go out, we constantly discuss whether we can afford to do things like buying lamps for the living room or eating out.[/li][li]Pay Bills - This goes hand-in-deviant-hand with worrying about money. Paying bills, sweet blissful rapture! Well, my partner does more of this than I do, since he is the money guy in the relationship. We try to do this at least once a month, but it really is such an indulgence that any more often than that really takes its toll.[/li][li]Play With the Dog - Oh, come on folks! Get your minds into the gutter! How more depraved can you get than throwing tennis balls, taking walks, providing skritchins and giving meds wrapped in American cheese? Let’s not even get into the requisite grooming (clipping claws, brushing, bathing). (Well, truth be told, we don’t do as much grooming as we should. It’s a weakness, but all great people have them. But let’s keep this one between you and I, shall we?)[/li][li]Having Friends Over - I know this might sound scandalous, but it’s probably even worse than you imagine. We invite friends, both straight and gay, over to our how to, are you ready for this?, socialize and play board or RPG games. I mean, how kinky can you get? We even make group dinners on occasion (especially Wednesday nights, our traditional “game night”). Sometimes we throw parties, though Esprix throws more parties than my partner and I, but when we do, we leave the rubber sheets and other paraphenalia where it belongs because we’re even more deviant than that. We serve food and socialize and try to make sure everyone is having a good time. (Hope you were sitting down for that last part; I wouldn’t want to be responsible for any heart attacks!)[/li][li]Go to Church - My partner is Unitarian Universalist and I’m a beginning student of Buddhism. We like to shock the neighbors by regularly going to our respective religious observations. Pentagrams and goats blood is passe! We like to sing hymns, meditate, give alms, study religious texts, and participate in our respective religious communities. And we don’t care what the neighbors think![/li][/ul]

Well, I could go on and on (and probably have already), but you know how it is. We do try to keep non-fabulous things to a minimum. We try to go to the theater less than a dozen times a year; we generally only go to one Pride event annually; we spend less time in Hillcrest (the local gay community) than we do at the zoo. Maybe when we tire of being the fabulous role-models that we are, we’ll try to settle down and lead more normal lives of constant orgies and partner swapping. (Not to mention the recruiting!)

I hope I haven’t scandalized you too much with such graphic depictions of our gay lifestyle!

JOhn.

14

Once a week we go out to dinner (Fri or Sat usually) and we usually try to hit a local casino and drop our $40.
During the week, we usually rent a new DVD film (we only go to movie theaters for films you “have to” see on a big screen).
In nicer weather (9 months of the year) we usually sit in the backyard and BBQ something in the evening.
We have about 10-15 primetime TV shows/series we watch during the week in the winter.
We get lots of weekend/week long visitors, an advantage/disadvantage to living in Las Vegas, so we entertain company regularly.
We used to go out to the bars at about 11:00 pm.
Now we are lucky to be awake at 11:00 pm.
He loves to cook and do/organize projects around the house.
I like doing computer stuff and doing some freelance writing.
We usually go to the Pride celebrations every year…this year it is May 10th and 11th here in Las Vegas.

Real exciting, eh?
Going on 23 years.
Wouldn’t have it any other way.

15

Early morning: wake up, time depends on lateness of hour chatting with Matt finished the night before. If Steve the Temporary Lodger has gone to work - boot the puppy off the bed, roll onto my back and masturbate lazily thinking of my sweetie. If Steve the Temporary Lodger has not yet gone to work - boot the puppy off the bed, poke Steve awake and leer disgustingly at him until we do rudies. Make fun of Steve’s bedhair. Cuddle the puppy who is now back on the bed until Steve’s done in the bathroom, then go pee/shower/shave/brush teeth. Get dressed, worry about amount of laundry that needs doing, have first cigarette and coffee, walk dogs. Get back and call now-absent Steve all sorts of names for leaving so many dishes unwashed. Clean kitchen, grumbling wildly.

Mid morning: kiss Matt’s photo on desk. Feel silly and girly. Shrug and do it again, smile to self. Check email. Pout over no email from Matt/swoon ridiculously over email from Matt. Have coffee/meds/smoke more. Gently prod agency lady over the phone in regards to new job, vocally express concerns about nature of job, allow myself to be flattered into going for an interview. Browse boards briefly. Decide to post. Change mind. Walk dogs again. Make toast and decide not to eat it. Give in and give it to slathering beasts. Go swimming.

Lunch: Read paper, more coffee, perhaps some juice if feeling exotic. Take deep breath, call mother. Get scolded for smoking when she hears me light up. Ask after health of father, get told off for not visiting enough recently. Arrange possible parental visit, make mental note to clean apartment and de-fumigate. Doodle wildly on notepad, lie to mother about previous appointment. Feel briefly guilty but relieved when she hangs up. Go make Ramen noodles for lunch. Smile to self sappily because Matt eats them too. Think of Matt. Swoon some more. Consider more masturbation.

Afternoon: putz about on the computer pretending to write until Matt comes online. Squee. Spend hours with headphones on listening to Matt’s beautiful voice and discussing how disgustingly in love we are. Consider more masturbation. Get interrupted by Steve the Temporary Lodger getting back from work. Get called a dirty old man by Steve, threaten Steve with eviction. Boot Steve out to walk the dogs while I say goodnight to Matt properly. Turn off voice. Pout. Chat to Matt in type, smile and laugh a lot. Get emotionally choked up by something lovely Matt says. Get told I’m a wuss by Steve. Remind Steve he’s jealous. Inquire of Steve when exactly he plans to find somewhere to live. Get a snotty look in return.

Evening: putz around apartment. Walk dogs. Take a bath. Eat. Sit on couch and watch TV with Steve/very occasionally go out for a drink with friends and perhaps hook up. Perhaps write something. Read it over, decide it’s dreadful, delete the file, sulk. Consider going to bed. Tell Steve to quit snoring on the couch and go to bed. Get told to eff off. Let dogs out one last time. Check to see if Matt is online. Browse boards, decide to post, change mind. Squee when Matt comes online. Boot Steve off to bed so I can have alone time with Matt. Stay up far too late talking with my sweetie, making plans, wondering how it can be possible that someone like him can possibly love someone like me. Feel joyus that he does, and sure that he does. Argue slightly over who loves the other more. Feel sorry for Hamish who will have to put up with us.

Night/early morning: regretfully turn off computer, float off to bed in warm happy cloud of romance. Boot puppy off the bed. Snuggle up to Steve, attempt to prod him awake and into having rudies. Fail horrendously. Drift off to sleep in happy daze thinking of Matt and ignoring Steve’s snoring.

16

My god, the fabulousness up there is blinding.

After ten years, our life is pretty routine.

The Dear Wife wakes up at 7:20, takes shower, gets dressed, checks email, talks baby talk to cat. Wakes me up at 7:50, gives me a kiss and a hug goodbye. I hit the snooze button a couple of times, then one of the cats flops on my bladder, propelling me out of bed.

I go to class, spend an hour learning how to do ring homomorphism proofs. I yak with a fellow student about graduate school. I head off to work, do some data cleaning, chat with colleagues & AIM my wife about dinner.

At the end of the day I’ll go pick up my best friend who lives nearby, and we’ll gossip about band stuff (we’re both in the queer band here), then I’ll drop her off at her house. I’ll head home, give my wife a kiss hello then we either go out for dinner or I’ll cook something. We’ll watch TV, then I go do my homework. Sometime in the evening my wife will come give me a hug and a hot cup of tea. After the homework we’ll watch a bit more TV, cuddle, then go to sleep.

It’s been pretty much like this for 10 years, and I love her more than anything on this planet. She’s the warm center of my universe.

17

I’m between jobs at the moment too (quite a few of us in the same boat it seems!) so I start the day by getting out of bed whenever the hell I like, jumping in the shower and brushing my teeth.

My usual daily routine is a mixture of surfing the 'net, listening to music and catching up with any cleaning or laundry that needs to be done. Most days I’ll also take a walk to the shops in order to buy a newspaper, just in case there are any half-decent jobs advertised within. In the evening I’ll just have dinner, read and do some more surfing. Exciting, huh?

I visit the local gay pub each weekend, where I meet up with my friends for a few drinks. After yet another dull week, you wouldn’t believe how much I look forward to this. Plus I happen to be going out with one of the bartenders; once he finishes his shift, we spend the rest of the weekend together, so things aren’t so bad after all :).

Contrary to the bilge one reads in the gay press, my “lifestyle” does not involve shagging anything that moves, spending my huge disposable income (as if) on designer outfits or sashaying on the dancefloor until the small hours of the morning. Fine with me, because that was never something I aspired to.

18

My gay lifestyle? Well, I’m sitting here night after night reading the SDMB, so obviously it’s a never-ending social whirl . . .

Zzzzzz . . .

Any cute guys out there as bored as I am?

19

Well, I get up at about 8am… well, after hitting the snooze alarm, it can be any time from 8:09am to noon.

Coffee. Lots of coffee. Lots and LOTS of coffee. Then all the lovely pills I take for MS with a little food to keep them down.

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I go to a water aerobics class to maintain my mobility and strength. Tuesday and Thursday it’s weight training for MS.

I run errands as I can, some days just sit home and read the SDMB and get things done on the computer as well as some work.

I’ve not chatted via IRC in over a month and half. My circumstances have changed. I met someone and after a maelstrom romance(like a whirlwind romance, but with a lot of debris and destruction), I am living with someone. That has changed my circumstances a great deal.

Now along with all the other aspects of getting along with my life, I have this other person with me who… I don’t love. I thought I did. Maybe with the circumstances of such a quick courtship and romance, well… such intensity either turns the coal into a diamond or shrapnel. I have shrapnel.

He… says he’s happy and when we had the serious relationship talk he broke down in tears and said how he didn’t want to lose me.

In the midst of that, I think about how I wish I was still single. How I wish I was alone, and having only myself to focus on instead of trying to shore up someone else’s life and try and keep all the plates spinning financially and otherwise.

So, along with the rest, my morning ritual now has another person who… makes me wish I was single, alone, and able to focus on what I have to do, rather than trying to set a fire under a 28 year old who is not right for me in the end. Having things in common, including MST3K and other oddities, is nice… it’ not the basis for a relationship and love.

So, from the moment I wake until the moment I fall asleep, I think off and on about how it is my choices that led to this. How not to hurt a person that has bore me no ill will, though their issues have caused a great deal of friction, some of which I have fed into in negative ways.

I wonder through the day how to do the right thing by him and still remain true to myself.

I find myself saying “I love you” back to him because… to not say it back would cause more heartache, even though I know my words are hollow and they are lies. I think he know that too, but he wants to believe.

So, I want to do the right thing, but I don’t want to be a monster, and yet… this isn’t good either.

So… welcome to my lifestyle.

Sorry, this wasn’t meant to be a core dump… this is the first time I’ve really put these thoughts down and… well, these are my current circumstances, and thus my lifestyle.

20

Single lesbian college student. My day tends to go as follows:

Wake up, hit the snooze alarm for a bit, roll out of bed and check email. MWF I have a 10 am class; TTh I usually wake up a bit later than that. I go to class- Morphology, Russian Culture, and Rhythmic Patterns of Speech are what I’m taking this quarter- and generally catch lunch somewhere in there, usually with my best friend.

Between classes I usually hang out in the gay/lesbian resource room with friends- I generally study, read, or do something utterly nonproductive. I’m the librarian for the recource room, so I get to be in charge of 700-odd queer books.

I usually have tea with some friend or another and I like to make my own dinner when I can. The goal is to be in bed by two; that doesn’t happen as often as I like.

Homework is somewhere around two, four hours a night. Twice a week I go to Rainbow Alliance meetings; once a week my frat has house meetings. I’m the treasurer. I take Tang Soo Do- it’s a Korean martial art- a few times a week as well. I’m in a few other organizations, but those three are my big ones. Oh, yeah, I have band practice twice a week, and I spend an hour or so a day reading my work email- I work for a nonprofit for gay teenagers. I work for the linguistics department, too- right now I’m researching Ainu, a minority language in Japan.

Not so much with the “gay” as much as the “busy college student” when it comes down to it.

I wish I did have lurid details nowadays. When I do, you’ll be informed.