Good heavens! I had no idea those pictures would end up in the wrong hands! I was young, I was foolish, I needed the money… Curse you, Herb Ritts (bless his heart!)!
But those ads of which you speak must be for veritable fountains of youth - for surely, how could you improve upon the perfection of the “before” picture? 
Esprix
Wonderful, Esprix! Now I know what Oscar Wilde would have done, had he lived in this day an age.
He’d have posted on SDMB!
^^^ Yeah, and if he’d gotten really into it, no one outside these boards would ever know who he was! 
Okay, I decided to come back here and give a serious answer, because this is a cool thread. After all, it’s Friday afternoon.
8:30 - Alarm goes off.
8:45 - Alarm goes off.
9:00 - Alarm goes off.
9:06 - I got out of bed and got dressed. Then I turned on my computer and checked my e-mail. There wasn’t anything very important or interesting there, or else I would have remembered it.
9:55 - Arrived at math class, talked nonsense with the kids who’ve sat near me all semester. After 10 minutes, the professor still hadn’t shown, so most of the people left. We figure he probably missed the bus. That’s ok, it happens to everyone.
10:10 or so - I went to get a real breakfast. Unfortunately, the only place still serving breakfast was the student union, and I got a paper plate of scrambled eggs that prior to grilling was a yellow soup in a big plastic bucket that the guy working the grill had ladled out. I was worried, but more hungry than worried. I didn’t experience any ill effects, so it goes toward my theory that my stomach can handle anything. Maybe I’ll go the route of that guy in France who eats metal.
11:00 - Time for English Major Boot Camp! Actually, it’s pre-1800 English Lit, but it’s required for everyone and pretty painful to boot. We’re currently stumbling through Gulliver’s Travels.
12:00 - 4:15 or so - Came home, ate lunch, cleaned the room, called and wished my mom happy birthday. I checked the mail and got a package with a flesh-colored bra I’d ordered some weeks ago, so I can wear white T-shirts made of thin fabric. I also did laundry and sat in the laundry room reading a book of literary criticism on Gulliver’s Travels (yup, there’s a paper due on Friday) to try to get me thinking about it.
4:45 - Food.
Right Now: I’m supposed to be revising a piece of short fiction I got workshopped in class about a month back. The revision’s due Tuesday. But, of course, I’m actually posting this.
Later:
First off, I will work on those revisions.
~9:00 - Shower, get dressed and get ready to go out.
~10:00 - Arrive at dance, locate a couple of friends and talk about random stuff for a while, read any new pamphlets or stickers there, then go line up the ladies.
After that: I have no idea.
I’ve got an idea, you hot mamma you!
Esprix
Well, today’s been a rather typical Saturday of errands. Jeremy and I got up around 1:30 PM, had coffee, showered, got dressed, and headed out. We stopped by an optical store to see if he could get his glasses fixed (he broke them last night :(). Then we hopped on the metro and got our hair cut at a little salon in Westmount. Back on the metro and then a little walk to St-Laurent. Picked up some coffee, then Jer checked out an army surplus store there. A nice walk down St-Laurent, with me pointing out the snotty restos, then on the metro once again.
Bought some new boxers and socks, then to the pharmacy to pick up prescriptions and other stuff (shampoo, soap, deodorant, condoms, toothpaste, etc.).
Get home. Make coffee. Jer does the laundry, cleans the bathroom, vacuums. I do the dishes and prepare a snack.
Later we’ll head to the grocery store and pick up most of what we need for a week. I’ll make a nice dinner, and we’ll watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding, which we rented last night but, um, didn’t get around to watching, if you know what I mean.
Then we’ll have really twisted and decidedly non-vanilla sex. :eek:
woo!
well. yesterday I woke up around ten, loafed around for most of the morning, talked with the boi. then around 2 I went up to Mom and Dad’s house to help with Dad. It was really tough because he was very exhausted yesterday, he only ate part of a bagel and then crashed on the sofa. I watched over him while Mom did some errands and grabbed a nap. While there I called the STM, who I’d hoped to work for, and found I probably wouldn’t be getting the job, and I wouldn’t know until Monday wheee, a chance to stew.
It really sucked the life out of me, so I went home and complained about it with the boi. had a good crying jag and a nice long, gentle conversation (and some decidedly ungentle umpty afterwards…) Then I went out to the Pagan Resource Centre’s Beltane ritual. Had a wonderful time, and went to Mom and Dad’s again to help Dad get into bed. He was very, very overtired and too confused to get to bed upstairs, so we bunked him down in the guest room downstairs, which we had set up for my aunt and uncle. Mom was pretty exhausted and upset, so I took care of her for a while while getting the rest of the bedding set up. Then I went home, futzed around on the puter a little longer, then crashed.
This morning I woke up and futzed around on the computer still longer, then went to the Pagan Resource Centre’s Beltane fair and fundraiser. Got a momma’s day gift (soap and bath fizzies) and a birthday prez for my ex Éric (a pretty leather cuff). Came home, tried to chat up the boi but he was having his puter repaired. Chatted with Freyr a bit, and abruptly realized I was late for another Beltane rit. This Beltane is particularly important to me since it comes at a turning point for the boi and me in our relationship. Had another wonderful, energetic, and mystical rit (including an indoor maypole dance) and stayed for a long time to chat and hang out with the other folks there. Lost my shirt - dammit! but it will turn up - and head home. Soon to crash. Must check on my sweater that was drying, tho.
There you have it, the life of an unemployed Pagan fag in an LDR with a sick dad. That’s most of my life right now.
After sitting here and reading all the posts regarding this thread, and Iteki’s is the one most similar to my life. Except my partner has a 9 year old boy, but apart from the picking up from school stuff etc it’s the same.
One of my ‘friends’ - and i use the term lightly… very lightly, thinks my life is one big orgy!
So rather than telling about my life i thought i would share the life THEY think i live!!!
I awake with a big hangover from the night before, which was spent dirty dancing at some crazy gay nightclub. Then i shag for the first hour of the day and drag myself to work.
I’m probably wearing a singlet, work boots and army pants, and i’m considering shaving my head and getting a tattoo with my girlfriends name on it.
At work i download pictures of naked chicks, and spend my lunchtimes checking out other girls tits!!
I’m hot for every girl i know, especially my friends, and having sex is all i can think about.
I don’t go to movies anymore unless they have Lesbian in them , and i subscibe to sex shops and recieve things in brown paper packages, containing lots of leather.
Whenever i look at my friends i’m having sexual thoughts, and if they touch me i’m going to try and jump them!
I take speed, and ectasy and drink too much, and am letting the hair grow under my arms and anywhere else i can.
When i get home i call up my gay friends and invite them around to share partners.
I then crawl into bed with whoever lasted the night and start the same day all over again!!!
:rolleyes:
Well, I wasn’t gay when I started reading this , but after reading Esprix’s posts and laughing my ass off…well I’m still not gay.
But I’m happier.
My gay lifestyle, huh?
I spent Saturday on my motorcycle. Alone.
I finished reading a book on Saturday night.
OH!! Friday night was spent shopping, though.
…for groceries.
And this afternoon, I sit here ripping CD’s, doing laundry and paying bills.
Yup, I’m just THE most fabulous of the fabulous. THE raging, dancing Queen you’ve all come to expect. Later, I think I’ll wash the car.
I just wanted to revive this thread to thank everybody who has posted.
I think, from the data gathered here, we can come to some conclusions about gay people.
Gay people:
Own Dogs
Own Cats
Own Fish
Go to Zoos
Play videogames
Watch TV
Cook Food
Eat at Restaurants
Sleep
Work
Wear Clothes
Wash Dishes
Drink Alcohol
Don’t Drink Alcohol
Go To Church
Participate in Pagan Rituals
Don’t Go To Church
Bathe
Snore
Do Ring Homomorphism Proofs
Cuddle
Get Laid Off
Brush Their Teeth
Are Healthy
Have Health Problems
Are In Bad Relationships
Are In Good Relationships
Are Single
Are Promiscuous
Are Monogamous
Drink Coffee
Drink Tea
Are Incredibly Busy
Are Amazingly Lazy
Work Out
Study
Read Books
Watch Enterprise
Eat Chinese Take-Out
Have Kids
Don’t Have Kids
Argue
Dance
Shop
Have Babies! (Congrats, KellyM!)
Break Their Glasses
Do Housework
Watch Movies
Have Kinky Sex
Take Care Of Sick Relatives
Love Their Mothers
Ride Motorcycles
Do Laundry
And so, what can we conclude about this group? Well, pretty much nothing. Except that gay people, for some reason, are all computer literate and hang out on certain message boards. But that may be a problem with the sample. Oh, and gay people seem to have an almost universal aversion to waking up in the morning.
Thanks for posting, folks. I think every one of you is completely fabulous.