Awright.
Captain: Q
Executive Officer: Barclay
Ops: Lore
Science: Melllvar
Tactical: Thomas Riker
Helm: Kahn
Chef: Quark
Doctor: Bones McCoy
Engineer: Zefram Cochrane
Counselor: Worf
Beat that!
OK, here we go. I bring you Starfleet Corps of Engineers on the U.S.S. Cochrane:
Captain: Scotty
First Officer: B’ellana
Science Officer: Data
Helm: Geordi
Ops: Nog
Chief Engineer: O’Brien
Tactical/Security: Trip
Ship’s Counselor: Rom
And inside a stasis tube labelled “in case of dire emergency, break glass”: Wesley Crusher
Working from the theory that drama originates from conflict:
Captain: Picard
XO: COMMANDER James T. Kirk
(Imagine what Kirk was like as a 25-year-old newly-promoted commander, before age and responsibility calmed him down... now imagine him forced to serve under a man who thinks that "risky adventure" means taking the role of Fortinbras instead of Claudius in this week's holodeck theatre production.)
“You got your Saurian Brandy in my Earl Grey!”
“YOU… gotyourEarlGrey… IN… my Saurian… BRANDY!”
Chief Science Officer: Spock
Assistant Science Officer: Seven
(Spock is quietly amused by the emotionality and inefficiency of his crewmates... Seven is irritated by them. Spock finds this quietly amusing... which INFURIATES Seven. Seven is never quite as good at Spock at anything, which infuriates her even more. To make matters worse, Spock's brillance, efficiency, and general perfection make him probably the only man who seriously attracts Seven.
In the words of Singing EMH: "It's all so veeeee-rrrrrryyyy.... il-log-i-cal!")
Chief Medical Officer: McCoy
Asst. Chief Med. Officer: Phlox
(The Odd Couple of Starfleet Medicine.... one claims to hate technology, the other uses bugs and leeches as surgical tools! One's chronically grumpy, the other is perpetually cheerful! Pessimist meets optimist... loner vs. social butterfly... and yet they're friends!
Okay, would you believe “cordial”?
Would you believe “agree to disagree”?)
Chief Engineer: LaForge
Asst. Chief Engineer: Torres
(A man who sees every engineering challenge as a good time to bring in some small children and read to them from 'Uncle Zephram's Big Book of Warp Theory' teamed with a woman who probably has fantasies about EATING the children... and the book.)
Helm: Paris
Ops: Data (pre-emotion chip)
(Sitting together for eight hours a day while the boss is in the Ready Room gives a couple of guys plenty of time to chat. Data wants to understand humans, but Paris' "help" might just change his mind!)
Security/Tactical Chief: Reed
Sec/Tac Officers One and Two: Worf and Odo
(Not much conflict between these three connoisseurs of violence, but plenty of tension as they attempt to ply their trade on a ship full of peaceniks. Reed's lessons in dry British wit don't quite conceal the fact that all three have fairly sturdy sticks up their butts... which they will cheerfully use to beat you senseless!)
Yeoman: Janeway
(The last C.O. who tried to put THIS yeoman into a miniskirt ended up in Sickbay with 3rd-degree coffee burns over most of his body. Yeoman Kate felt bad later... she hates to waste coffee!)
Computer Voice: EMH
(This one kind of speaks for itself, don't you think?)
Counselor: a series of increasingly disoriented and shell-shocked bit players.
(Seems counselors don't last long on this duty... I can't imagine why.)I was wondering when you were gonna show up!
Gee, I dunno, I think Sulu works quite well as eye candy.
[drool]Mmmm, George Takei without a shirt[/droool]
based on the notion that my ideal is the show I haven’t seen yet, here are my selections.
Captain: Sulu. He was at the helm for many years with a top bridge crew, and yet he’s the only one to move on to get a ship of his own.
Exec: The Doctor with his emergency command program permanently on. You’d have Sulu’s improvisations constantly being brought up ‘against the book’, and having every possible flaw derided sarcastically.
Tactical: Nog. He learned deception and sneakiness from Garak and Quark. How to spot sneaky buggers from Odo and Worf. He suckled engineering at the teat from O’Brien and Rom. He’s half as tall as any other sentient being in the galaxy, and he’s lost a leg in combat. Face it, with Nog on the bridge, your ship will never be caught off guard. In fact, the captain’s most frequent saying will be “Once again your giant ears have heard my order before it escaped my lips,” followed by “Now please explain how you rerouted the teleporter through the deflector dish to dump their anti-matter core onto their bridge while their shields were up.”
Helm: Doesn’t matter. Paris, Wesley, Chekov. Heck, have 'em on rotation.
Ops: Kera Nerys. When the shit hits the fan, she’s on the ball.
Science: Jadzia Dax. Brilliant, passionate, and she knows how to use a Batt’leth.
Engineering: This was a toughie. If you’re developing a new ship, then I’d want Geordie and Nog to work together-- Geordie’s got great ideas, and Nog would know how to cut corners and get things down on a budget. But if it’s the shakedown voyage, I’d want O’Brien, if only because he managed to retrofit a space station, get dozens of short-range vessels on line, worked on the Enterprise-D, and brought the Defiant up to snuff.
Medical: Bashir, hands down.
With all these crewers, you forgot the ship we need;
THE PROMETHEUS!
Able to split into three separate ships, each should have its own specialized crew.
Captain, helm, science, engineer, one for each.
And the whole shebang commanded by one admiral…KIRK!
Captain - Archer - The only Captain with enough guts to shove a guy out an airlock and steal components from an alien craft.
First Officer - Kira - Any first officer willing to expose a guy to a virus to make him come up with a cure is fine by me.
Science - Jadzia - sigh…
Navigation - Nog - It never hurts to have someone on the team who can negotiate a good deal.
Medical - an EMH based on McCoy - Damn it, I’m a doctor, not a photon!
Engineering - Scotty - Rule of life, if it’s broke, give it to Scotty.
I don’t know all the characters names and I’m too lazy to look them up so bear with me.
Basically the scenario is this - some kind of temporal anomaly brings together the following crew:
Seven of Nine
The ST:DS9 girl who was in Back to School
The Klingon engineer from Voyager (Torres?)
Whatsherface from Enterprise - Jolene Blalock
And oh I don’t know - lets say that the anomaly split Lt Savik into thin Kirsty Alley Savik and Kim Catrell Savik.
And maybe a couple of the hot nurses from Kirks ship
And what the heck…lets say they have to go to the Spring Break planet to win some beach voleyball competition or something.
That would be…
Seven of Nine
Jadzia Dax
Belana Torres
T’pol
Oh and Kim Catrell didn’t play Savik, she played Valaris. Robin Curtis was the Savik in III and IV.
And I want to change one of my entries.
For navigation, Wesley Crusher, who dies in the first episode very painfully and then is replaced by Nog.
Ok, Kirsty Alley Savik and Valaris then.
And wasn’t there an episode in Next Generation where Famke Jensen (X-Men) was some kind of sex alien or something? She can come too.