It’s just not cricket.
(pun intended)
I met a traveller in an antique land
Who said ‘Six vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert
And on the pedestal these words appear
My name is Ozymandias, King of Ants
Look on my feelers, termites, and despair
I am the biggest ant you’ll ever see
The ants of old weren’t half as bold and big
And fierce as me’.
What if one desires to be English, or is in fact, by proxy, half English? Is one then allowed to discuss ants? How about if I find the English Male Voice irresistible?
Because you know what I’m tired of? Ants in the bathroom. What the fuck is up with that? I don’t care if they stayed too long at the game, I don’t care if they drank too much, I don’t even fucking care if they won, my house is not a public restroom. They should have taken advantage of the ‘facilities’ before they left the game.
I spray them. They come back. I bait them (gratuitous masturbator joke here). They come back. I point them out to my dog who toys with them (until, of course, one crawls up his nostril then the intricate dance of Oh My God There’s An Ant In My Nose, Get It Out, Get It Out, GET IT OUT begins). Still, here they are. If they, for one fucking minute, think that they can get all crowded and start rioting, I’m gonna shoot their fucking asses with a shotgun. (Surely, I’d hit at least one of them, don’t you think?)
It’s official. I’m a thread killer. C’mon guys. Is my writing that bad? I wasn’t really going to shoot the ants. I swear.
You said “GET IT OUT” huh huh huh.
I must note that once again, the two “Majesty… Fuck Yourself” threads are sequential. Sometimes a bad idea just won’t die… 
Tranquilis, do I have to reiterate? No citizenship = no opinion. Does this scathing argument not cut you to the core? Tsk, tsk…
Oh, and could I note that, as a retired ant-breeder (I used to have a large group of English ants which I took to all the topshows, beating off all competition [sub]not to mention actually beating some of the other breeders[/sub]) and I note with dismay that the cost of an ant-farm has increased up to £575!! Is our noble sport going to be taken over by yuppy art-loving breeders?! Are we to see cross-breeds rife within our sport?
I dread the day I see a french poodle-ant cross-breed…
…this Argentinian ant issue is merely the tip of a completely off topic flamefest.
PT, You. Are. Simply. Not. Listening.
I am an American! Everyone has a right to my opinion. After all, American opinions are the best in the world. Everyone knows that, it’s self-evident!
Your pugnacious attitude and failure to accept that I have a right to insert my opinion into every conversation, and that you have no right to complain about, it simply proves my point that you are an ingnorant foreigner, and not to be trusted.
Aren’t you due for some US intervention about now, anyway?
How come no one likes us, anyway? I bet it’s because we haven’t done enough interventions lately! If we throw our weight around a bit, I bet American will be much more popular!
USA! USA! USA!
OG! OG! OG!
FECK! ARSE! DRINK!
Honestly, Tranquilis I think you have a misconception about the English attitude to ants. This thread was started because of the irresponsible attitude of the Argentinian ant export controllers. How do you think the American public would feel if the Colorado potato bug was in danger from illegally exported Irish potatoes?
You admit you’re not English so therefore your comments do not merit our attention. Please follow Nostradamus’s advice and perform self-copulatory activities. Sheesh!
When will you get over the fact that secretly you know we let you win the war of independence just so you’d stop intervening all the time?!
I’d cite but then you might realise how unfounded my attacks are…
It’s nice to see someone else (Michael) is on our side.
jazzmine, once and for all. You do not have anything to say about English Ants. American Ants are nothing but fucking Imperialist Lackeys. Fuck off.
Tranquilis, if you (or Mr. Bush) intervenes in this delicate diplomatic Ant impasse you are a fucking piece of Toast. Please, get off this thread and go to an American thread.
Thank you, and fuck off.
Hah! Typical Britsh! Just like you to lose a war on purpose, just so that later-on, you can use our production capacity and man-power when your arrogance gets you into a bigger war! Always conspiring, aren’t you?!
Just for that, Nossy, no intervention for you! Hah! Solve your own problems, without our input, if you can!
Explitive! Bad Word! Deleted!
I’d leave in high dudgeon, except that Scylla already beat me to it, so instead, I will manfully ignore you and your petty &#*% Ant problems (I bet the reasson you're a *retired* &#% Ant Breeder, PT, is that all your &#$% Ants were gay!).
I will still insult you in replys to other posters, or when I feel like ignoring my melodramatic decision.
Oh, how I dream of a world where all ants can live together in peace, as equals, without the fear of persecution.
When will the killing stop? Etcetera.
Nostradamus, my friendly, opinionated, bumbling, uncouth, unsophisticated American Ants are just as important as your quiet, reserved, oh-so-important, full-of-themselves, smug English Ants.
I will send them over to drink in your pubs and to buy all your antiques. This will give you prime opportunity to poke fun at their manners and the way they talk while you take their money.
Tell me to fuck off. Don’t make me come over there. I’ll do it.
Oi! Don’t think we’ve forgotten about that whole “Tarsus of God” incident…