These descriptions of words you can’t think of are killing me!
Oh my God. I’m dying.
Why? Didja forget how to breathe? 
This is also true for walking. Left foot, right foot, a little in front, not straddling a parallel line, but not putting them directly in line either, sort of toward the center, left, right, …trips and falls on face
Celyn in car, CelynBoyyfriend driving. It is later now, that it should be, and growing dark. (dammit, we’re looking for Camelot, of course it turns into a complicated quest). Anyway, it was by then dark enough to make it difficult for me to see to read the map, yet, b/f wanted directions, but would not agree with my plea that "look, just stop- we lose a couple of minutes by stopping the car but at least that way, I do actually get to see the map, then I can say where were are and where to go. And so on. So, I suppose we were both getting a bit exasperated.
Thing is, once the “managing to see the map” problem was dealt with, and all was happy again, I reflected out loud that “it must be quite diffictult for blind people driving cars, becasue they wouldn’t be able to see to read the maps”. :smack:
When we were stationed in Germany, we lived on a very small base, small enough that I often just walked to the BX. However, if I was planning on getting something bulky or doing a larger shopping trip, I would take the car.
So, one day I drive to the BX, get whatever I was after, and walk home. Come out of the house a few hours later, wonder where the hell my car is.
Sigh…had another one tonight.
We were watching a repeat of Law & Order: SVU. They had nabbed the bad guy, and were discussing what happens next.
Detective Stabler: “He’ll be arraigned tomorrow morning at 11:00”.
My Brain: “Ahh, crap…I won’t be able to see it. I have plans tomorrow morning”.
…
:smack:
Hah! My mom did something like that once. She went to an overnight conference a few hours a way, with a few friends: she drove to a friends’ house, left her car there, and they all drove together. The next day, she gets dropped off at home. That night - a solid six hours after she got home, she glanced out the window at the driveway, and suddenly, panicking, asked “Where’s the car??”
Jesus wept, I just had one. We went to the BP down the street this morning to buy cigarettes and, while I was in there, I decided to find myself a snack. I’m a vegetarian, mind you. So, I go down the racks of trashy treats, searching for something to give me the treat-fuzzies. Munchos - No good, I’ll eat the whole bag. Cheetos - Same. Ice cream - Nah. Candy - No way. Little Debbie - Ugh. Hey, I know! They’re yummy and rather low in calories, and I haven’t had them in forever.
Pork rinds.
Cue me getting in the car, opening the bag and wrinkling my nose. My slow brain half says, “Why in the world do these smell overpoweringly of meat?”
Other half of the brain says :smack:.
I’ve done that. I also forgot my account number once when I was trying to make a deposit. Keep in mind that I’ve had the same checking account for three years now, and have been making my deposits in the same manner every single payday since then. I signed my check, started to fill out the slip, and just… went… blank.
Fortunately, all the tellers know me, so one of them looked my number up for me. Unfortunately, when I went in to make my deposit next payday, I got confused all over again because I knew I’d spaced on it before. The tellers had to help me yet again.
I work in a grocery store deli right now, and every meat/salad/cooked food/etc. has it’s own number to punch in to the scale to get a price tag. I also have a number to punch in and out at the time clock. Nothing more fun than trying to remember my employee number amidst all the potato salad codes. 
My most bizarre happened when I worked at a state park. It was time for my lunch break so I went to the employee lot and got into my truck to drive into town to get some food. I get my food and drive back to the park to eat in the break room. As I turn the corner to the employee lot, I look at the space where my truck was and think “Oh my god somebody stole my truck!!”
Then I realized what I was sitting in… :smack: :smack:
Had a semi-one yesterday. I went to my local woodworking store and they were having an event where you could turn a pen (on a lathe) and send it to a serviceman overseas. So I turned the pen out of cocabola, polished it real good, put in the refill and made sure that it extended and retracted properly. Then I went over to the pile of index cards where you could write a message to the person who was getting the pen. And I started patting my pockets looking for a writing implement. This went on for a while.
Finally, one of the store employees pointed out that I had just turned a * pen * and that I was holding it in my hand.
I am afflicted by lactose intolerance, and as it is I am certain that it went up to my head. I get distracted very easily and when I ‘come back’ is like having instant amnesia. Some of the things that happen often to me is forgetting simple, common words. Words like ‘onion’, ‘maybe’, ‘chair’, etc. I rarely forget complex words, it’s usually something really simple. I sometimes remember a word in English when I desperately need it in Spanish, and viceversa.
Another common problem is directions. I have blanked out while driving and found myself kilometers from my intended destination when I finally come back to my senses. I constantly lost my way home from work, even though I drove more than 3 years the same route and it only takes 15 minutes.
Of course telephone numbers (I asked a friend yesterday to remind me my own telephone number) and birthdays (it goes like 'two days to mom’s BD, one day to mom’s BD… wow my mom’s BD was last week! :smack: ').
The worse brainfart ever? Hard to tell, but the most embarrassing was once that I met a friend and accidentally locked myself out of the car after starting the engine and putting my handbag on the seat while my friend was putting some stuff in the trunk of my car. My friend calmly tells me not to worry, ‘that happens to everybody’.
He took all the stuff out of the trunk, climbs and pushes the rear seat, gets inside and unlocks the car, puts everything back in the trunk and locks it. I got in the car, he comes to my door to say goodbye, I come out to give him a hug for the help unlocking the car and slams the door shut again… :mad:
In a conversation I was having with a friend a few months ago, I was trying to explain something and then spent 5 or 10 minutes trying to think of a rather simple word that was on the tip of my tongue.
Ironically, I don’t remember what the word was.
Thra, at work, once asked me if I could recommend a good pirate for her. Then she paused and said, “Did I just say ‘pirate?’ I meant ‘dentist.’”
This happened about two years ago and I have never stopped teasing her about it. “Well, I’m off to the dentist. Arrrrrrrr!”
Not as funny, but her name is “Thea,” not “Thra.”
You will note how close the r and e keys are, right?
Me: So, I got home, and as soon as I opened the front… uh… you know… the thing with the hinges… and the handle, that you open…
Friend: Door?
Me: Door! [sub]Jesus.[/sub]
It was even funnier with me miming how to open a door.
Along the lines of the “not thinking about driving” posts, I will add showering. As long as I don’t think about it, I’m cool. The minute I think about what “step” is next, I forget what has been done already. Basically have to start over.
I once spent about 15 minutes looking for the remote control, which was in my left hand. That’s bad enough, but I know I had to set it down, pick something up to look under it, pick the remote back up, and resume the search.
As far as forgetting words, I saw a comedian who talked about older folks always forgetting the nouns first. It’s so true – and now I get to jag my parents about it.
“Hand me the … uhhhhhh… <points>”
One time I found myself wondering why the back door would not unlock. I had been pressing the unlock button from my car’s keyless entry thingy at the doorknob.
Oh here’s a good one that happened a couple of days ago.
Friend: blah blah blah my twin brother…
me: You have a twin brother? How old is he? :smack:
Yeah, me too. That’s totally embarassing. Black Belts are supposed to know it all, right? Hell, there are days when I don’t even know my own name unless I read it on my belt 
Don’t forget doomaflochy.