I stopped by the grocery store on my way home from work Friday. It’s a downtown supermarket so although it is not large it is 2 floors. Quickly shop since this is Friday evening, for Pete’s sake! Hmmm, had to go the bathroom which is upstairs. Go upstairs, park basket, go to the bathroom. Okay, I go back downstairs, check out and head out to my car. No keys. Back to the checkout. No keys. Back upstairs to the bathroom. No keys. Over to the upstairs office. No keys. Downstairs to the downstairs office. No keys. Look desperately around the store like maybe I will spot them hiding in the produce. No keys. Back out to the car and peer in the windows. No keys. I give up and get out my cell to call my husband to come bail me out. When I lift up my shoulder to cradle my phone I hear this little jingling noise in my bra. Hmmmm.
Keys!!
Right where I put them 20 minutes ago when I had to take them off my belt in the bathroom!
To avoid repeats of this, do what I do – keep a copy of your last deposit/withdrawal slip in your wallet so you not only know the account number, but approximately how much money you have. Since I have my savings and checking accounts in the same bank, all I have to do is make sure I keep the last slip from each account handy – the respective dollar amounts are divergent enough that there’s little risk of confusion.
Mighty_Girl: I’ve also forgotten my phone number a couple of times. After all, I live alone, so it’s not like I have much occasion to call myself!
[QUOTE=BlackNGold]
Along the lines of the “not thinking about driving” posts, I will add showering. As long as I don’t think about it, I’m cool. The minute I think about what “step” is next, I forget what has been done already. Basically have to start over.QUOTE]
I went through this drama the other day, except it was drying off after the shower that had me puzzled. For whatever reason, I forgot to dry my face off, and when I realized this I freaked out, not knowing what to dry in what order.
Also, a more occurring brain fart of mine is to be watching something on TV, getting really into the program, and then totally forget what I was watching as soon as a commercial comes on. Often I’m relieved to “remember” what I was watching, only to realize I remembered what I was watching hours ago, not currently. :wally
I often think I’m not wearing my glasses when I am. Wearing them, on my face, not on top of my head or something, and I have to reach up and make sure they’re still there, even if I can see the frames.
One day, in Latin class, I could not for the life of me find my book. So I asked my classmate, “Nina, have you seen my book?” She looked at me funny and said, “You’re holding it.” I had actually picked it up and looked under it.
I was coming home a week or so ago from a concert, and my friend was driving. I was trying to tell her how to get to my house, but I mixed up left and right. Not just once, but at every single turn we came to.
Add me to the list of people who have forgotten thier phone number. I was at work one time, and was about to write it down for a co-worker. OK, so I’ve got the pen all ready to write… and I stop.
What’s my phone number? I don’t know! But that’s stupid, I’ve had the same number for years! OK, just relax, it’ll come to me in a second… Damn! It’s not coming to me! PANIC! PANIC! PANIC!
Of course, all of this takes place in just a few seconds, and my co-worker is just standing there waiting. I had to sheepishly explain that I couldn’t remember my phone number, and could she come back in a few minutes? After a giggle fit, she agreed to come back.
Fast-forward to twenty minutes later… My co-worker comes back for the number, but I still have no idea what it is. We ended up walking to the break room to look it up in the phone book.
I’m on the phone a lot at work, and I always answer with “name of the office, delphica speaking.” I’m sure you know the drill. I have heard coworkers laugh about accidentally answering their home telephones that way by mistake.
Ha ha, I would never do that!
No, instead I had this little gem.
Ring … ring … ring
Delphica: (picks up phone)
Delphica: (silence)
Delphica: (more silence)
Delphica: (yet more silence)
Friend: Is this Delphica?
Delphica: Yes!
Friend: Why didn’t you say anything?
Delphica: Er … because I couldn’t remember what one says when one answers the phone at home. I knew it wasn’t the office thing, but I couldn’t remember the word for at home … you know, that word. That means you’re answering the phone. At home.
Friend: You mean “hello”?
I was vacuuming the house. I wanted to connect the hose to the vacuum cleaner so I could use the attachments. This is something I have done a thousand times. And for some reason, I could NOT get the hose to attach to the vacuum cleaner. No matter how long I studied it, and no matter which way I turned it, it would not latch in place. Finally after several minutes of this I decided that the latch must have broken somehow and gave up.
The next day I looked at it, plugged it in and latched it in two seconds. I have no idea what my problem was.
Secondhand story: A friend of mine and his wife used to drive past a produce stand every day on their way home. The stand sold tomatoes. They had “TOMATOES” printed in very large letters on the sign. So large, in fact, that they split the word in half, so it was written on two lines. One day as they drove past the stand my friend’s wife turned to him and said “We pass that thing every day, and I can’t figure it out. What the heck are Toma Toes?” The answer hit her about a half second after she finished the sentence.
You know that party trick where you ask someone with a drink in their hand what the time is, they look at their watch and spill their drink? I managed to do that *to myself *in bed this morning: holding a glass of water in my hand intending to drink it, thinking “I wonder what the time is” and pouring the entire glass over myself, my pillow, the bed, and everything.
What’s worse, it took me a full 5 seconds to realise what the ice-cold sensation on my lower body was, by which time the glass was empty.
You know how, when you’re writing checks for bills, you enter the amount in your register, calculate the total in your register, and then go on to write the check? Or at least, that’s the way I used to do it. Until I, in one of my apparently unlimited number of brain farts, then promptly wrote the check out for the balance in my checking account, rather than the proper amount of the check, and sent the check out to whoever it was, thereby inevitably rendering myself broke and bouncing several other checks in the process. :smack:
This was bad enough. But a few months later, I did it again. :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:
I didn’t just forgot a date’s name. I forgot the last name of my boyfriend of three years. He has a common last name (Turner), and a friend asked me what his last name was. Trouble was, her last name was also Turner, though they are unrelated. When she asked, I opened my mouth and then froze. I stood there stupidly with my mouth hanging open for a minute before saying, “Wait, is your last name Turner? That can’t be right… What is his name?”
I also have recurring brain fart when it comes to the cars in my driveway. Mr. Turner’s car resembles my mother’s from a distance (at least, the distance from the kitchen window). Often I’ll glance at the window while he is there and say, “Ooh, look! My mom’s here!”
Another brain fart strikes when he drives us home in my car and leave his car in the driveway. As we come up to my house, I always, always ask, “Hey! Where’s my car?” :smack:
Oh my God! This was the first brain fart that popped into my head, but I was too embarrassed to post it. Mine happened while I was walking down the steps, rather than up. Very weird.
My others are usually when my husband will hand me something and soon after, I’ll say “Where’s the [item he just handed me].” “Uh, in your hand.” :smack:
A friend of mine was behind someone at a stoplight and when the light changed, the person in front of her just sat there. So, my friend got angry and started yelling, “It’s blue, goddamnit, it’s blue!!” She’s not colorblind, by the way.
The light was green, and I was going to turn left, so I yielded to oncoming traffic and then made my turn when the traffic cleared. The only problem was, the left turn signal was red :smack:
I have things like this happening all the time. I’m so glad it’s happening to everyone else too!
My most embarrassing one happened when I was about eight. I was going over to ask my friend to come out and play. As I approached the door, my mind suddenly went blank. I stood on the steps, staring at the door, and trying to figure out what to do next. Finally, I strained really hard and remembered that when faced with a doorknob, you should turn it. I grabbed the doorknob and just opened the front door of his house. His dad was sitting on the couch. He looked at me in shock and yelled “Get the hell out of here!” I shut the door and ran away.
So, Jim’s dad, in case you’re reading this, now you know…I just forgot how to knock!
Another one related to the “forgetting how to walk” brain farts: I have occasionally forgotten how to swallow. Not food mind you, but just normal saliva swallowing that occurs all the freakin’ time. I then go into panic mode trying desperately to remember how to swallow the saliva that is gradually building up in my mouth. :dubious: :smack:
Saturday I forgot how doors worked. Specifically, keys. Had no idea what to call the metal thingeys in my hand and only a vague notion they were somehow related to the open/close wall hole thing in front of me. So I stood there for a good minute before a neighbor demonstrated how to open the security gate for me. He gave me a funny look for some reason.
The worst for me was last year when I woke up and didn’t know what came next. Open eyes? Breathe? Move somehow?
This has happened to me a few times. The worst was when I was talking to some friends of the family a few years ago at a party and I had no idea how old I was, but I knew I was the same age as their son. To make matters worse they weren’t too sure how old their son was, and just kept on throwing out numbers, and I kept on saying, “Yeah, that’s how old I am…”. :smack:
I finally found out I was 23.
