A sexy private tutor.
Favorite lunch
Reuben sandwich with a dill pickle on the side, and an ice-cold beer. Tastes great!
Favorite kind of ice-cream?
Mint chip makes no enemies
Favorite excuse for showing up to work late
I was at a strip club.
Favorite reason for being fired
Texting in the bathroom when you’re supposed to be working.
Favorite news headline?
DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN
Favorite U.S. President before 2000?
Abraham Lincoln (apologies for taking the easy way out)
Favorite tin pot third world dictator
Idi Amin - “I ate them before they ate me”
Favorite entrance
“Heeeeere’s Johnny!”
Favorite Tonight Show guest host (Johnny era).
Bob Newhart
Favorite Straight Dope signature that is not your own.
“Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge.”
Favorite US state
Arizona - despite the negative press, it’s a great place to visit and have fun
Favorite naughty word
Ass. Not sure if any explanation is required.
Favorite 1960’s television sitcom
i don’t have one.
favorite musical?
Xanadu
Favorite play?
Hamlet - I’ve seen 10 or so versions of it, all in different settings and portrayals. My favorite was the post-apocalyptic bunker version in an old office building in Charlotte NC.
Favorite group/artist you never admit to liking out loud
The Cure. SHHHHHHH!
Favorite Motown hit
“Dancing in the Street,” by Martha and the Vandellas. A classic that never seems to age.
Favorite Elton John song?
Benny and the jets. Benny “The Jet” Urquidez would play it on his way to the ring. Which is like the weirdest vibe when the other guy comes in with some hardcore murder rap.
Favorite martial artist
Jackie Chan - He has the most fun and still does amazing shit
Favorite movie that has lots of guns