Actually, that’s pretty genius even if you aren’t sentimental. Give the whole thing to the next bride-to-be in your family. You’ve kept them in the family and made a magnanimous and generous gift.
That.
How can anyone get mad at you if you clearly state your intention and give them their chance to have them if they want them?
What he said.
Actually, on second thought, I like astro’s suggestion. My dad has almost no pictures of his family, or even himself from his childhood, because when he was a young man he didn’t give a rat’s ass about the family photo albums, so when his parents died those went to my aunts (their daughters), who did care. And when my aunts died, the photos went to their kids (mostly their daughters), and so my sister and I have almost no pictures of my dad’s family, while my cousins have lots of them. This still doesn’t matter to my dad, I must confess – but it kinda does to my sister and me.
I vote for squirreling them away and hanging on to them, if you think you’ll ever have an SO or kids who might like them.
Stand on a crate and say, “Last call! If you don’t want to buy me out, I’m selling these on E-bay or donating them to a museum!!”
Were they explicitly bequeathed to you in the will? If yes, they’re yours to do with as you please. Even if the glass was divvied up outside of an actual bequest, they’re still yours. Your family has no business ditating what you do with a inheritance.
If you don’t want them, tell the you’re redistributing them among the others as you see fit, and if they won’t accept them, you’re selling them as you see fit.
Donate them. You will get a good tax write off.
Gift them to them on birthdays/Christmas/weddings.
Tell the family that you no longer have room and they will either go to a family member or to a museum. Tell them they have until the end of January to keep them in the family.
Then dump them.
I don’t know how many pieces you have, but why not just divide the pieces by four and give (physically take) them to your other family members? Say “Here. You’re family.” Then walk away. What would they have to complain about? They get a nice gift and the glassware is still in the family. What’s to bitch about? And storage problem solved. I’ll bet they’ll find some room for them.
Or did you want to sell them to the family? In that case, I’m with the posters who said give them to the end of January to buy them or off to ebay they go!
They’re yours. Since they don’t want them and your second impulse was donating to a museum, I say do that.
If anybody complains about that, calmly point out that they were given dibs and passed.
Sure, they are yours and you should be able to do with them whatever you wish. And sure your relatives are being unreasonable. But, assuming things are otherwise okay between you and your family, I’d strongly suggest the “pack-them-up” option. Just would be far less likely to engender ill-will, at presumably small cost to you.
How large of a box would they fill? A copy paper box? If you have enough space to stick the box in the back of your least used closet, or in an attic or basement, put them there and forget them. If anyone ever asks, tell them you have them stored and they are welcome to them.
If you live in a tiny studio apartment and don’t have room for them, box them up, and then bring them to the next family gathering, or the next time you go to a family member’s home which has storage space. Ask who wants them, or ask the homeowner to store them for whomever may eventually want them. If they act as tho it is too much of an imposition, toss the box in the trash.
Well, probably not the last bit. But at this point I believe you would have been reasonable enough to say, “Look, I don’t want them or have room for them. If any of you want them, you can have them. But I can’t believe you are trying to say I have to keep them. If no one takes them, than no one has any say in how I choose to dispose of them.”
My mother in law solves this problem by presenting her crap to me as Christmas gifts. Although its not really the same problem since if she threw away the crap I’d be much happier…
Every time you visit your ma or cousin bring one of your glasses with you and when no one’s looking, add it to their collection.
They will either never notice or think someone is gaslighting them and not have the nerve to bring it up. Either way –problem solved!
Oh, no! Because they will ask **Homie **what happened to his/her glassware and will not believe “I gave it to you one at a time”! They will swear on a stack of Bibles that they always had all that glassware and **Homie **is just anti-family and sold all the glass on ebay behind their backs! No, no. No sneaking! It will *so *bite you in the ass!
Or is that just my family does things like that?
Well I still like my idea.
Remember the old adage: “Honesty is the best policy --except when dealing with family.”
In moments like these, surreptitiousness is the way to go.
Put them in a box and leave them at MammaHomie’s, AuntHomie’s, BrotherHomie’s, or CousinHomie’s house the next time you visit one of them. Doesn’t matter which one, whoever’s house comes first. It would be kind of mean to sell the pieces if the family members really want them in the family. Allow them to keep it with hardly any extra effort on their own parts.
Plenty of good suggestions so far (I’m always broke, so I’d probably have to go the selling route, but I think both the options of giving them away a piece at a time and donating are excellent), but no matter what you’d choose perhaps you can tell them you’ve done X long before you’ve made a decision to even see how bad the fallout will be in the first place. Regardless of what they say, perhaps if it’s viewed as a fait accompli, it won’t be nearly as bad as they are portraying it now.
Good luck!
Boy, do I feel your pain. I have a house full of things that were given to my husband by his grandparents and I can’t do shit about it. In addition, we are moving and I’ve had two HUGE boxes of Christmas decorations of my MIL’s that she a. wants b. won’t take c. won’t let me toss. I finally contacted her other child-with-a-storage-unit and had her come get them. Did I mention that every time the MIL comes to town, I offer to bring her the boxes and for 4 years, there has always been a reason for her not to take them?
I’m now trying to figure out how my husband and I are going to single handedly move an upright piano that I can’t get rid of, a bar I can’t get rid of and a FUCKING Pepsi machine that did me the kindness of catching on fire today, about an hour before we had a showing of our house.
One day, my MIL was at my house, I mentioned I finally got rid of the 4 huge french onion soup bowls that in 15 years we had never used. She freaked out.
I don’t know what makes people want to dictate to you what to do with stuff, but won’t take it themselves. Somehow, it makes you the bad guy. I just don’t understand.
Heh…I moved a full sized upright piano by myself from a trailer, 20 metres into our backyard, up the three steps to our porch, through the entire house and into the front room. The final corner required the piano to be stood on its side…
Of course it helped that a church was throwing this out, and it wasn’t tuned so it didn’t really matter when I “dropped” it onto its side (I simply didn’t have the weight to hold it while I was tipping it onto its edge. FTR I am 5’10" and at the time abt 69kg.