I’m a married man and would probably be asked to drive my wife.
Ditto. From what I’ve heard, even cops aren’t fond of domestic disputes (which this might very well be considered as one). No way am I, or my hypothetical hubby walking into a known violent situation where there’s a drunk. Let the cops handle it. If Amy wants to truly leave, they’ll be in a far better position to help her than would I.
I’m married, but I don’t like your poll options.
First, I would determine who could get to Amy faster: a cab, or us. We would pay for a cab. If we were the best option, we would go get her. Not because I don’t trust my husband, but because:
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I’m a lawyer. I have experience with domestic violence situations. I am good in pressure situations.
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My husband is the sweetest man alive, but he is emphatically NOT good in pressure situations. And he would not want to go alone. He would want me to go with him.
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I don’t trust domestic abusers. When I helped extricate a friend of mine from a domestic violence situation last year, I always brought extra people with me when we went to her house. I think there is more safety in numbers.
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I don’t trust the victims of domestic violence, either. I have some friends who worked in DV who will attest to how victims tend to turn on the people who try to intervene or help them. When I helped rescue my friend last year, she sometimes got very emotional or angry, and directed it at me. It was very beneficial to have multiple people there so one person could comfort her while another took a break, or did the driving, or gave support/backup. I don’t think any one person should try to rescue a victim of DV on their own.
And I would not go on to her property to pick her up. I would insist that she meet us at the curb, so my husband and I could avoid encountering her husband. This is another reason I would go–to make sure my husband looked out for his own safety. My husband just does not think of those things until it’s too late.
My partner is a cop, so he handles this type of situation frequently. I’d let him go. If he thought having a second person, maybe as a driver, I’d go along too. But knowing him, he’d probably roust up one of his coworkers if he felt he needed backup.
The whole thing escalated into the boyfriend holding the girlfriend’s parents hostage for days before he was shot and killed by police.
As much as I would like to help, I am not sure I would personally invite the target of a madman into my own home for shelter unless I was convinced I could keep the situation secure.
Married female, would definitely want a woman in that kind of situation to get help if she needs it. I’d prefer to go along with him, strength in numbers and all that, but would be OK with him going without me if needed to help someone in danger. Involving the police as additional help would be a good move, IMO, but the victim’s going to need someone she knows and feels safe with to be around, too.
Married man, and that’s what cops are for.
Of course, my actual wife would have already called the cops way, way before your hypothetical kicked in - at the very latest, when she was dragged into the car crying, if not before. She’d also have had the local battered women’s group on the case. Failing that, I would have, if it was described to me.
The woman who only waits for a late night call, in the situation you describe? That’s no wife of mine.
I go with my wife and call the police on the way, explaining the situation and requesting a car. If they say to do otherwise, then we’ll take that into consideration.
I would go with my husband, not because of any jealousy thing, but because we have a momvan so we have the room, mrAru is fairly strong and could carry luggage and I could ride shotgun with the tazer and pepper spray in case mrUgly wakes up, and I could call the police if something starts going wrong. And since we live 50-75 miles away from mrAru’s work, in a small rural town and can park the momvan in the barn so you can’t find it by driving around and looking for the van she would be harder to track down than if we lived in the same suburb that mrAru’s work is in. I also have connections with 3 different women’s shelters locally that I have volunteered in so we could get her placed fairly easily.
I helped someone in my building - across the hall - leave her abusive SO. Her first suggestion was that she just crash at my place, which I explained was a horrible idea.
Stop being smarter than me, or the Smurfs die.
Well, bear in mind that it may be only an excuse, not a reason. That is, it’s awfully awfully hard to leave an abusive partner, and sometimes you literally need someone to hold your hand while you do it. I get that, I really do. But I’m also laaaaaazy, not to mention all too aware of the other dangers mentioned in the thread. So yeah, I’d suggest the cab first, and hope she’d take us up on the offer to avoid all the rest of the drama.
Can you kill Smurfette? It would be interesting to see a Children of Men-esque sense of fatalistic doom descend upon the Smurf’s world.
I’d actually pay to watch that.
Nothing in the hypothetical says that the cops were not called during the dragging incident, you know. It doesn’t say that they were called, of course. But your wife could have only seen the tail end of the dragging, had to run for a phone, and been unable to supply sufficient information for the constables to find the car.
Or the cops could suck. Cops often suck. And not in the good way,
First, it’s Smurfs’ world, not Smurf’s world. There’s more than one Smurf.
Second, of course I can’t kill Smurfette. She’s a chick, and Rhymers don’t do violence to chicks except as allowed by the Three Exceptions.
How 'bout I knock off Smurfette for ya? Having thus proved I’m smarter than you yet again, you get free reign for carnage of the rest. Win-win.
Sorry, dearest, but no. “To live outside the law, you must first be honest.” If you were to kill Smurfette for me, that would be the same as me killing her myself; I just wouldn’t be admitting it, and would still be in violation of Rule 7.
Darn it! You never let me have ANY FUN! The other evil overlords let their minions kill Smurfette!!! It’s not fair!!!
Can I kill Smurfette for JohnT, then? 
First of all, my wife calls me “Enright3 The Helper*.”
What can I say? I grew up in rural Oklahoma. When I see people need help, I try to help.
I would not let my wife go in the middle of the night without me.
*Just today on my way into the office, I saw a guy walking in the rain that looked like he needed a hand for some reason. I stopped, backed up and asked if I could give him a lift somewhere. Turns out he was looking for work and had found a labor job in the area. I looked the address up and gave him a lift. It was only 3 or 4 miles out of my way. Good thing I stopped, because he was headed in the wrong direction, was two hours late already. Needless to say he was hopeful they would be understanding about the weather, etc.
I didn’t say you couldn’t kill Smurfette. I said you mayn’t kill her for ME. If I find it needful to violate Rule 7 I shan’t do it by proxy; Pallas Athena would not be impressed by such rationalization. But if you find it needful or even amusing to stomp the entire Smurf village, including Smurfette and Sassette, into blue paste, I shall of course defend you against Johann and Pewee when they come looking for justice, 'cause you’re on the short list.