As I said, he tried, I batted him away. That was it and I didn’t feel the situation warranted more force (I’ve taken tae kwon do with a lot of self-defense training).
There was nobody around and I really didn’t want to risk getting attacked. Honestly. What if he was armed? He was certainly bigger and stronger, and since he stopped, I felt no reason to escalate (though believe me I was ready for if he didn’t - I was ready to hurt back if it got worse).That’s one of the first things I learned in self-defense - try to de-escalate the situation
One of the most unsavory experiences I remember was when I was 10-12, and it was a cold rainy day. My Mom (who was probably about 30 at the time) was walking with one arm around me and we were kind of huddling together to avoid the cold. We were going around behind the corner of a department store when these guys pulled up in a car and started harrassing us. They were like, “Oh my god, are you girls LESBIANS? Do you want to come back to our house blah blah blah?” It took my Mom repeated attempts to convince them that we were mother and daughter. Gross. I unfortunately remember way too many times being hit on when I was 12… and sometimes the guys would continue to hit on me after learning my age.
…
But the funniest, best “awkward hitting-on” experience I have ever heard was the story of a girl I met, who swears that during the first semester of college she invited a socially awkward guy friend of hers up to her house, and made the mistake of watching a movie with him. When she glanced from the television screen over to her friend, she found him with his pants unzipped and his junk all exposed. He looked at her with utter seriousness and asked the immortal question…
I was in graduate school (theater) and married. I was in a production of a play that had been written by a native son who had achieved some fame as playwright and a C&W songwriter (but hadn’t done anything of note for years – i.e., a has-been).
He came to see the show one night and then took a couple of us out for drinks afterwards. I’m sitting at a table with him on my left, my husband on my right, and another female grad student on the has-been’s right.
So this 50+ guy is slinging back the straight tequilas like there’s no tomorrow. And as he gets drunker, he starts speaking in an Inspector Clouseau-esque accent, asking me, not so sotto voce, if he could perform oral sex on me. I finally managed to convince him that I was not interested, at which point he began asking me if maybe my friend would let him perform oral sex with her. I said, “You know, you probably should ask her yourself.”
I was once in this pagan drumming group (yeah, yeah, I know, go ahead with the jokes). There was this woman there who was flirting pretty heavily with me. She wasn’t especially attractive to me, but I’d been single for way too long, and at some point any attention is good attention, so I was flirting right back. Also, there was this guy there who I’d never met before who kept glaring at me, but I was young and stupid and didn’t make the connection.
Until she introduced him to me as her husband. She was trying to pick me up while her husband watched!
And no, he wasn’t okay with it. Over the next couple months she continued chasing me (after I realized it was her husband, I’d gone, unsuccessfully for once, into the “play really dumb” mode). Eventually I sat her down and explained that it ain’t gonna happen. She took it pretty well. I shoulda told her much earlier, but like I said, young and stupid.
Most recently, I was at a New Year’s party at a local bar. There was a lingerie show set to techno music, very gothpunk stuff. And some guy kept coming up right behind me and putting his hand on my back. I turned around and glared at him, and by the third time of my doing so, with increasingly emulike faces, he got the picture. I’m not sure whether he realized I was male (I’ve got long hair and not very masculine features), but in any case it was pretty creepy. Enjoy the lingerie show on your own time, dude!
I was living in center city Philadelphia on a very busy street and I had my little Yorkie on the seat with the door open as I was putting things in the car.
The dog must have seen something and jumped out of the car and took off across the road. There were lanes of cars speeding by and I took off running after her. She was tiny and a car’s tire started to roll over her leash and I let out a scream and the driver heard me and stopped. He missed her by about 3 inches.
I was hysterical by that time. I was crying with mascara all over my face and my nose was running. I was so wobbly I thought I was going to pass out and the guy that worked in the garage in my building saw what happened and he helped me across the street and helped me sit down. (He said he had a bottle in the garage and I looked like a needed a shot).
The man that almost hit the dog came over and asked me if I was Ok, blah blah.
Believe me I looked a wreck. When I said I was fine and that everything was OK, he asked me for my phone number!
I’m at my brothers New Years Eve party. It’s pretty nutso. I wander over to the bartender (my sis in law) and am standing there talking to her. I feel a hand on my ass. My husband is around somewhere, so it isn’t unexpected, but I turn around and there is stocky, drunk, old guy.
Me: Do you know me well enough to put your hand on my ass?
Him: No, but I could…
Me: Perhaps you would like to ask my husband if it is ok?
Him: Ok, where is he?
He grabs my arm rather gently and allows me to lead him to where my husband is, huddled in a corner handling the music…we arrive and my husband is sitting there with a stocky, drunk old woman who has one hand on his thigh and the other around his neck, my husband looks like he’s been shot.
Old Guy: Your wife is hot, can I grab her butt? Oh, hi honey…
Husband: Um…uhhhhh…waves arms around like he’s drowning
Old Woman: Hey baby, look what I found?
I’m in shock. Now, I give the guy props for asking my husband. Really. And kudos to the wife for appreciating my husband (and me). However the icing on the cake?
Old guy is my brothers boss. Like, had my husband attacked him, brother might be out of a job.
The icing on the icing? I hear we are lucky. My brother said last year the wife tried to stick her tongue down his throat.
The worst for me would identify me to any co-workers that may read here, so I can’t get into details. It was a whole-day thing of being hit on repeatedly by a contractor at work. Ugh.
For second worst… hm. What’s worst? A junior high teacher, 2 mini-stalkers, or random guy following me off a bus?
We’ll go with the teacher, for the “ew” factor.
I was in 7th grade, and stuck in some science/technology/pointless junk class, and had the new teacher. Apparently the new teacher had a big thing for 13 year old girls.
Everyday it was shoulder rubs and boob stares (I was an early bloomer, you see). At one point he even put his hand on my leg and asked if I’d stay after class and talk.
I tried to get him to stop, even going so far as talking to the principal about him, but he wouldn’t back off. Eventually I started getting rude, and became a general pain in the ass in that class. He finally stopped (months later) when me and a friend heard him mutter something about slapping me with his dick and we called him on it. I guess he said it louder than he’d intended…
I have been hit on incessantly since I was 12. Too many really bad ones to count. The dirty old landlord who was pleased as punch to rent to the 17 year old, and tried to see if I’d work out an arrangement for rent? Good friend’s husband who has remarked in front of his wife what a nice ass I have–on numerous occasions. The endless hitting on at parties, social events, fundraisers by supposedly upstanding members of the community. A co-coach who said, “Hey, my wife isn’t home, why don’t you come over and we’ll have sex?” (Yes, his wife coached with the both of us as well.) The thing is, I don’t take it gently, and either call them on it, publicly humiliate them, slap them upside the head, or deck them. I’m no milquetoast, and don’t act like a victim, nor do I encourage it—not quite sure why I am a target, why any one in their right mind would say to themselves “Hey, let’s hit on her.”
The severity of passes are pretty profound, too, I am not that sensitive. I work with men all the time, run job sites on occasion, and have always worked in male dominated fields, so I know my way around men. There is a difference between giving shit back and forth in a light hearted bantering manner, and just out of the blue creepiness. Most guys are fine, but there are definitely some doozies out there.
If your posterior is in better shape than any given schmoe’s sense of propriety, you’re gonna get hit on, regardless of what other variables might be in play.
You know, Larry, I think you are on to something. That particular piece of anatomy has been prominently featured in many of the offensive comments/ inappropriate touching/ general misbehavior I have received. Now that I am thinking of it, I asked my husband one time, “What the hell is it with men and hitting on me?” and he replied, " You look people in the eye, you’ve got a sense of humor, you’ve got a great ass, and men are pigs."
Disclaimer—No, I am not one of those chicks that play games, nor run home to husband to get him all upset (He’d go ballistic if he knew the half of it.) I can take care of myself, thank you very much.
Oh, and Larry? Thanks for being a good guy, and not asking for a “cite.”
Most of the times I have been hit on were in some degree creepy. When I was young(er) and cuter than I am now, I used to work in a department store in the women’s accessories department. Three times I was helping customers select something for their wives and was propositioned by said customers. One even said that he’d like to bring me home for his wife.
Then there was the time I was walking home from a different job at night, and two guys tried to take me home with them. They offered me pot, which I guess was supposed to be an inducement. (no slur intended on those who do partake)
I went to a fair/festival thing with some friends, which involved, as we had to drive a fair distance, staying with the couple who was in charge of organizing things. The husband came up and kissed me with no encouragement on my part. Later he and his wife asked if I wanted to sleep with them in their bed, making it clear that was not all they wanted.
And finally, one of my friends and I went to the local sex shop. She was planning to treat herself to a new toy. When we left, we found one of the other customers waiting outside for us. He asked us to come home with him.
While working tables at an airport restaurant, trying to pay for flight lessons, one of the waitresses kept hitting on me. She was just not my type at all. I’ve never really liked make-up on women, and she was a walking Avon ad. And her eye-shadow? Electric Blue. Ewwww…
Anywho, she would purposely bump into me all the time, or swivel her hips into my path, or or or…for those of you that have worked in a busy retaurant, you know how much bumping and close-contact you get (two people reaching for the same coffee cups on a shelf tend to get close and personal)…but then add into that someone trying to take every-single-chance to have those occupational situations turn into a sexual encounter. She just creeped me out.
Then there was the time about 5-6 years ago that I was at a sauna here (co-ed, no clothes) and getting THE LOOK from another guy. Tried to ignore it and relax…he took a break when I did, then when I went back in and sat down I saw him through the glass door out of the corner of my eye…and that was when noticed he was pulling on his dick to make it partially erect so I could check out his package. How kind. He walked in and I walked out. I went to swim, and when I got to the changing room he was there…making every attempt to watch me as I towelled myself dry and got dressed. UGh.
It’s actually not the worst ever (I’ve told before the story of that couple trying to force me into their car), but the one that popped into my mind:
While in Grad school, I was part of the Uni’s Gaming Club. One of the guys who came was in his 40s, not particularly attractive, round head on a round body. He was divorced and came with his 10yo. I was 26 at the time. This guy would berate the kid constantly: for being overweight (less than the father!), for eating candy (which the father had brought), for any mistake the kid made in the game… I liked the kid and would do my best to defend him.
One day the father asks me out, I say thanks but no thanks. He asks why. Because I’m not interested. But why not. Because you’re old enough to be my father! No I’m not! Yes you are, you have 17 years on me.
Do you think I should have said “plus, I’d be perfectly happy to have your kid living with me, but only if you stayed the hell away, I hate how you treat him”? I didn’t want him to take it out on the kid so I didn’t.
Gay men. Any gay man and there were too many and I don’t go to gay bars or anything. I’ve no objection whatsoever to gay men, but particularly in my teens and twenties, where were the women hitting on with offers of low-stress sexual relief.
To my mind, population-wise, 3% gay men vs 50% women and the age of sexual equality, meant that for every gay-hit on (and remember I didn’t go to gay hangouts) I was entitled to expect 12 offers from heterosexual women. But nooo, and the fault was not in the maths.
A distant cousin of mine, when he was in his thirties and I was 16 or 17. His wife was in hospital after a miscarriage. She was a good friend and I’d stopped by to ask how she was. He said something about me needing a good teacher, but I didn’t stick around to hear the details. That was his second marriage, and I think there have been two more since then. Sleazeball.
This thread is bringing back so many supressed memories. Wow. I may even post some here later. Hard to tell which is the worst, or the most interesting.
Well, can you blame him? Two ladies shopping together in the sex shop must be up for some three-way, right? I mean, it’s in all the best *Penthouse Forum * stories…
