This can be Straights being hit on by Gays/Lesbians, or Gays/Lesbians being hit on by Straights…
It’s strange, every woman I’ve ever hit on is a lesbian.
Well I defy you to come up with a better explanation.
Only once, years ago.
I was out with a male friend one night and he spent all evening watching this very pretty and vivacious girl. I urged him to go and chat her up but he was really shy and wouldn’t go. Eventually he said he’d ask her for the next dance.
I got up and went out for some air, and she was there too. She approached me!
It was so funny, the single girl in the whole crowded place that my friend was smitten by, and she came after me! I was flattered because she was cute, but it was more funny than anything so I was laughing as I turned her down. She didn’t take it badly and laughed too.
Then I went and let my friend down.
I don’t think it’s ever happened to me. I’ve been called a poofter many times, but only as a term of abuse from the righteous, poofter fearing ranks heterosexual male kind. Actual gay men seem to recognise that I’m not one of their lot, and leave me be, which is an entirely satisfactory outcome for all involved.
I have been in the situation where I was a little uncomfortable with a particularly effeminate bloke at work, only to learn that he was, in fact, a butchy lesbian. After I’d figured that out, we got along just fine. No one hit on anyone though, not surprisingly.
I read this as IS the other gender than you assumed!
I was traveling through New York with some Canadian friends of mine and we decided to hit a girl bar in Brooklyn. Nice club and absolutely full of hotties and during the course of the evening I notice a cute, petite blond looking over my way. Eventually I draw the courage to say hello and using my best naive Aussie accent ask,
‘So is this the best club around here?’ to which she replies in a very deep and masculine Brooklyn accent.
‘Dis is a good bar but there are some better ones in Manhattan’ I politely excused myself under the pretense of getting another drink.
My friends thought it quite funny (as I now do) that I assumed a lesbian bar would exclude transgenders.
Actually now I have confused myself, did I assume correctly to start with?
1. Happened to you, and how often?
More times than I can count. I’m a straight male and have been getting hit on by men since I was in college (I’m over 40 now). It’s quite the running joke to my wife. I don’t think I do anything to necessarily attract men- as far as I know I don’t come across as gay bait or anything, not effeminate, don’t look like the stereotypical young hairless hottie, etc. Even the other day, I was walking down the sidewalk at the shopping mall across the street from my office and a guy drove by with his passenger window open, gave me a wolf whistle, and slowly drove off as he watched me in the rear view. There was nobody else on the sidewalk at the time. I was dressed in khakis and a button-down shirt.
2. Freaked out, or taken as a compliment?
Compliment. If someone finds me attractive, male or female, it’s always a bit of an ego boost.
3. Ever been the person “hitting on” someone who is into the other gender than you assumed?
No.
4. Want to share your story?
None are that noteworthy.
At least once a week. I used to live around the corner from a straight-friendly gay bar, so that’s where I’d drink. If it was crowded, I was pretty much guaranteed to get at least one offer.
Neither. It was mostly bemusement.
Nope.
I don’t really have anything special to share. It was all typical singles bar horniness, excepts it was all dudes.
Happened to you, and how often?
Happened often enough when I was between 22-35 years old, not happened much or at least overtly lately.
Freaked out, or taken as a compliment?
Mostly as a compliment. I worked as a waiter in my youth, so I knew if I was graceful about it I could increase my tips. I had a regular who was a very “out” gay man who would flirt intensely, but I had another customer who was what would now be called a “cougar” and she would a bit drunk and then very suggestive while she was there with her husband. The latter was more uncomfortable. At least a couple of times I was offered cash for sex by other men. That was pretty weird.
Ever been the person “hitting on” someone who is into the other gender than you assumed?
Not sure I understand this – would this mean me hitting on a gay woman? It’s probably happened at some point, but I don’t have a clear recollection.
Want to share your story?
Last week I was at my local and sat next to a lesbian couple. They’d been drinking, and one of them started picking on me and sort of possibly flirting with me. This made me uncomfortable, not because she was (most likely) a lesbian, but because I assume that was her partner she was with. Or at least a date. After they left I checked with my friend who works there with sort of a “Was that I think it was?” and she said “Oh. My. God. Yes, we were about to die laughing.” So at least the staff got some amusement out of it.
Happened twice.
Distressed about 2 on a scale of 10.
No.
I’ve been hit on by women - I take it as a great compliment. I don’t stress out at all.
I’ve never been hit on by a woman. I’d take it as a compliment, and fend it off the same as I would being hit on by a man (who is not my husband.)
Not as much as when I was younger. Appparently boys who like bears think I’m the bee’s knees.
2. Freaked out, or taken as a compliment?
Certainly not freaked out. Complimented if the guy was cute and charming, and a bit heartened that, should life close the door to the distaff gender, I’ll have a window to the phallic one.
Not that I know of.
4. Want to share your story?
Oh, there’s several. Perhaps when time allows.
Rarely. Most women seem to realize I’m gay and don’t bother. But it does happen on occasion.
Usually I just think it’s funny.
Not that I know of. But then again, sometimes I (playfully) hit on straight boys just for the fun of it.
Happened from time to time when I was younger and better-looking.
Neither. I hit on plenty of women over the years who wanted nothing to do with me, so it only seemed fair.
Not that I know of, but I had a roommate in college who was dumped for a woman.
Nothing of note. Some version of “It’s cool, but I don’t happen to swing that way” typically did the job.
1: Occasionally. I’m a male theatre major, still in college, and I enjoy show tunes and dancing. It’ll happen sometimes, especially if I’m actually dressed up.
2: Taken as compliment, normally, or at least simply worth a laugh and an apology for the fact that I am, indeed, straight.
Happened to you, and how often? Happened fairly frequently when I was in college - maybe once or twice a week. Now that I’m in my 30s, never or very rarely.
Freaked out, or taken as a compliment? Absolutely a compliment.
Ever been the person “hitting on” someone who is into the other gender than you assumed? No. I love talking to people and may sound kinda flirty, but I don’t seriously hit on anyone unless I’m 100% certain they’re interested (okay, so I don’t hit on anyone but my husband now, but you get the point).
Want to share your story? I don’t have one related to #3, but usually when another woman would hit on me, it was at the dorm or my apartment. My college roomie was bi and was very active in the GLBA community. She’d bring her girlfriends and friends over frequently, and I’m a chatty, friendly person and was fairly attractive at the time. Lots of women assumed that my roommate and I were dating (she was really touchy-feely with everyone, me included, and liked to joke-flirt with anyone she came in contact with), but our relationship ended at close friendship - we weren’t each other’s type at all and we knew so much about each other it would have been like making out with my sister.
I wouldn’t have been completely adverse to dating another woman, but I always happened to be in a straight relationship, so it just never happened. Still, people assumed I was bi by association.
Happened to you, and how often?
A few times, mostly while I was in college. I’ve disappointed a couple of co-workers since then, but they have been lower-key.
Freaked out, or taken as a compliment?
I was never particularly freaked out, but I didn’t think it was much of a compliment either. Mostly it just is something that happens, but doesn’t need to be dwelled on. I was annoyed when a floormate stole the puppet I was making for my puppetry class to use it to convey the message that I had a “great ass,” though. I was almost late to class by the time I got the puppet back!
Ever been the person “hitting on” someone who is into the other gender than you assumed?
Gender? No, I haven’t met anyone that androgynous. Orientation, though? I’ve flirted a bit with a couple of guys who prefer guys, but I wasn’t really trying to get them into bed. Well, except for one but he didn’t come out until I’d known him for several years.
Want to share your story?
Now I can tell when I’m being hit on, but I was pretty naive at 18. I had this friend, Jenn, who was a senior and a theater major. She acted flirty and I vaguely recognized that, but I chalked it up to her being dramatic all the time, since she was always larger than life around everyone. Fast forward three years, and I see her picture on the wall of a bi friend. I say “I didn’t know you knew Jen!” They dated over the summer, says the friend.
Oh!!
I was a bar back in a local club that has a well-regarded gay night for a couple of years, so more or less once a week for 80ish weeks.
Not insulted, sort of flattered, but it didn’t really boost my ego since I’d measure my attractiveness in terms of what women thought of me, and I’ve always gotten the impression that gay men tend to find different things attractive in men than most women (other than the generic lean-beef firefighter type, which I’m certainly not).
I’ve never hit on a girl who went the “wrong” way, but I bet every cute lesbian has had some man or other try to “turn” her at some point. :rolleyes: