gay men: ever hit on a straight guy?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’m curious, because I’m pretty sure that yesterday while I was at a coffee shop, I got hit on.

I didn’t want to ask outright if that’s what was going on, because if I was mistaken, there are quite a few straight guys that would have been insulted by implying that. But, I politely declined his invitation to accompany him to a club he knew, and tried to discourage conversation and get back to reading my book.

Anyway, I guess I’m curious how common an occurance this sort of thing is. I’m also wondering if I was somehow giving the wrong impression to his gaydar. I was wearing all black (not unusual for me, or for the particular coffeeshop I was in), sitting alone and reading a book.

I was somewhat bemused by the whole situation, but on the whole, I think if anyone is going to come up and talk to me and invite me somewhere, I’d rather that person be a woman.

2

A couple guys hit on my dad, he didn’t get it, he smiled and said hi. I laughed.

3

Well, sure. Of course. One of the tough parts about being gay is that most of us don’t have the word “GAY” stamped on our foreheads, at least not most of the time. If I see a guy I find really attractive, I might try and strike up a conversation, keeping in mind that there’s a 90% chance that the guy is straight, and then an additional 8% chance that he’s not interested. But that 2% is still worth shooting for.

As to gaydar, it doesn’t work. At least mine doesn’t. Sucks pretty hard, not being able to tell folks apart without asking.

Thanks for being polite, and for taking it in stride. If you think about it from a certain perspective, it’s a serious compliment; hitting on a girl will get you turned down, but hitting on a guy will occasionally get you beaten up. The fact that the guy found you attractive enough to make a pass at, given gay peoples’ current social status, says a lot about your desirability.

4

That happened to me before. It was some guy that I just started working with at my new job, and I didn’t know him yet.

He approached me while I was waiting for a crosswalk light, and I brushed off his small talk. The funny thing is I didn’t know I worked with him at the time…

I personally think it’s flattering to be hit on by a guy.

5

Hmmm, that depends. I enjoy torturing straight male friends, but they already know me and take 99% of what I say with a grain of salt (or two or three)… would probably not do it to a stranger…

6

I had an Italian guy offer me 10 million lira to have sex with him. Just at random, outside a restaurant in Verona.

Didn’t do it by the way.

7

I’ve been hit on by a gay guy once, though I was in a gay “environment” at the time so it’s understandable. I was at Pleasure Island (a collection of clubs at Disney here in Orlando) with some friends during Gay Days (a special event at Disney, which I forgot was going on at the time). A guy started some small talk with me and asked me if I wanted to dance. I politely declined, informing him that I wasn’t “that way”. He apologized profusely, though I’ll admit I found it a bit flattering.

8

I got hit on by a gay guy at work.

I couldn’t get too upset about it, because I’ve hit on a couple of lesbians. Mistakes happen.

9

Because I know a hamburger in Italy was 6000 lira when my grandparents went 10 years ago. I was wondering if the guy was insulting you.

“Come here foreigner, I give you 20 bucks for sex! You want?”

10

I’ve been hit on by lesbians, and couldn’t see taking it as anything but a lovely compliment. I’ve never been able to understand how such things might upset people, unless the hitting-on is done in a crude manner . . .

11

Which is exactly what happened to me IN THE SHOWER AT THE LOCAL Y! Flattering? No.

12

Well, what were you doing showering with lesbians at the Y in the first place, plnnr?

13

I’ve been hit on a few times, which is a real mystery considering what I look like :wink: In my single days I used to hang-out at the local punk club quite a bit, which also happened to be a gathering point for some of the city’s gay crowd. The first time it happened I found it a tad un-settling, but that had more to do with my ignorance and upbringing (All in the Family used to hit too close to home sometimes) than anything else. I learned to take it as a compliment and grew to be good friends with a few of the guys.

14

I have been hit on lots of times. My little bro is gay and sometimes we would go out to the clubs. Let me tell you, gay clubs do NOT skimp on the alchohol! Bro would get pissed cause all the guys would hit on me. I just told em I was straight but my brother, here, is gay. He got laid a couple of times that way! It’s a pretty weird scene at a gay bar. Watching the guys chat each other up. I still laugh about it! :slight_smile:

15

I get hit-on by gay men about once or twice a year or so. The first time I recognized that I was being hit-on, I was pretty weirded-out, but now I just play obtuse. No one gets hurt, and it’s less embarasing than pointing out the mistake, IMO.

16

About US$4,700.

17

Nope, but then I am pretty paranoid and have never hit on someone I did not already know was gay. And now that I am married, I never hit anyone other than my husband.
Jeeves

Hit on,Hit on, Don’t hurt me if you read this dear! :smiley:

18

I’m a straight guy who has been hit on by gay men a few times. Partly it’s because of my theater background (more opportunities, don’tcha know), and partly, well, I don’t know what it is. Good fashion sense, maybe.

One time was a friend/co-worker. I knew he was gay, and I was pretty sure he was checking me out. He invited me to lunch; I said sure. As we finished and were heading back to work, he said, “So, are you gay?” I said, “No, and I was waiting for you to ask, actually.” He said, “What? Oh, man, couldn’t you have said something?” And I said, “How would that have sounded? Right off the bat, hitting you with, ‘Hey, dude, I’m not gay.’” He thought about it, and said, “Yeah, you’re right.” For what it’s worth, we’re still good friends, years later.

Another time was really weird. I was at the hardware store, trying to get a replacement component for my very strange and ancient bathtub faucet handle. I showed the piece to the information-desk guy; he looked at it and said, “Wow, this is like fifty years old, I don’t think anybody makes these any more. I’ll go look in the catalog.” So he leaves me there and goes off to wherever he needs to look something up. As soon as he’s gone, the guy standing next in line taps me and says, grinning, “I bet you could find what you’re looking for at Basic Plumbing. You heard of it?” Yes, I knew it; it’s one of the most popular gay-oriented bathhouses here in town. But instead, I said, “No, I’ll check it out, thanks,” and turned back around to study a catalog on the counter. I figured if I had somehow tripped his radar, there was nothing like oblivious ignorance of something well-known in local gay culture to indicate that I wasn’t who he thought I was. It worked, too; he immediately lost interest in me.

And for the record, I think it’s mildly flattering also. I don’t get the same rush when a woman boldly flirts with me, for obvious reasons, but I appreciate the compliment.

19

My husband has been “propositioned” a couple of times. Both times, it was in a pretty sleazy manner, so he just ignored and kept walking. He says that he wouldn’t be offended if a guy hit on him as long as it wasn’t in a sleazy way.

Once in college I got a “vibe” from a girl. I wasn’t even sure if she was gay, but I just had this feeling that she was leading up to asking for a date. Before it got that far, I casually mentioned that I had a boyfriend (something like, “I went to see [movie] with my boyfriend last weekend, and I liked it.”) I certainly was not offended. I was actually very flattered.

20

I went with a few friends to a lovely little bar in Louisville, KY. Can’t remember for the life of me what it was called. Anyway, I sat alone at the bar and a young man came up and very nervously started chatting with me. I found this very amusing for two reasons.

One. I am a straight man and was out on the town with a few friends. Some of the guys in the group were gay and most of the women in my group of alchoholics preferred the gay bars. So I say “Why not?” We end up at this amazing gay bar. (I wish I could remember what it was called) Anyway, it was something called Red Night. Red lights bathing the walls like blood, Communist flags hanging on the wall, and black and whit movies playing on a bare wall. I couldn’t make out the movies too well from my place at the bar. The whole scene was odd, disturbing and I must admit really cool. I found this young man’s advance the icing on the cake. The absurdity of it all made me laugh.

Two. The guy who started the conversation was so nervous. I couldn’t help thinking that this must be what I look like hitting on a girl. He was a very nice guy and we actually chatted a bit more, after I told him I was straight. Of course my friends all found this very amusing. Mainly because I was actually blushing, I was very flattered by the attention. It’s just a shame it wasn’t a woman.

I would love to know the name of that bar. Anyone from Louisville? The Annex keeps popping in my head, but that might just be the name of any old bar.