I got a band practice on Saturday morning and I haven’t practiced our music for s**t… even worse we’re trying to prepare for a real gig where there is talk we actually might get paid this time.
… and I just don’t care -at all- zero practicing. Think i’ll just spend the rest of the day playing really old pointless video games
~Signed biggest dirtbag in my band (keyboards)
This explains why chicks dig drummers and guitar players.
What kind of monster puts steak on hot dogs?!
I like a spaghetti dish that my mom used to make when I was a kid. I still make it sometimes. It has a sauce made of canned tomatoes, bacon and Velveeta. Yes, Velveeta. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.
People have very strong feelings about this, especially in the Chicago area. Indeed, Cecil spoke on this subject years ago in one of my favorite columns of his.
My favorite line:
But seriously, Cecil is right. Ketchup is much too sweet for a hot dog. It smothers the flavor. That’s fine if you’re eight years old, but for an adult?
And steak?! Ketchup is fine as long as the steak is also cooked to very well done while you’re at it. 
I have a friend who puts ketchup on absolutely everything, including steak. And eggs. He calls it “American sauce.” 
(Although I suppose a contender for that sobriquet these days would be ranch dressing.)
I won’t name names, but I am pretty sure some of you are hiding bodies.
Out with it.
I have reheated fish in the office microwave. once
THIS is what I’m talking about!
I am not that depraved - ketchup only for steak, hamburgers and hot dogs. I do not put ketchup, hot sauce or any other red sauce on eggs. Ranch dressing is for pizza!
And I don’t mind pineapple on pizza. I don’t go out of my way to order it but I’ll eat it if it shows up. Go ahead, castigate me. I know you heathens all have your own shameful culinary secrets.
Scrambled eggs is the ONLY thing I put ketchup on.
My own father did this as well. I still clearly remember the first time I saw him doing it when I was seven or eight years old. I think it scarred me for life.
I have a hilarious video of my then-toddler falling down. My husband is holding the camera. I’m off-screen doing something else. My son is trying to get on a little dalmatian scooter he got for Christmas. It is not going well. In slow-motion, the scooter starts to tip… tip… Until my son is lying on the floor with the wheels in the air. At this point he makes a pathetic little cry. My husband is laughing his ass off.
I say, “What are you doing to our son?”
“He’s doing it to himself.”
I posted about this once on the Dope and someone got upset about it. They were like, “I would have helped him out.” I said, “Well, he’s not still lying there.”
I have an incredibly dark sense of humor. Most people would never guess.
That’s not even getting into what I write about.
Often when I’m going into a public place like a grocery store, and there are girl scouts selling cookies or cub scouts selling popcorn, when they ask me with their little hopeful voices “would you like to buy…” I’ll say, “sorry, I already bought some”.
Which is absolutely true-- I bought some popcorn and cookies like 8-10 years ago, when my sons were cub scouts and my nieces were girl scouts. Also plenty from coworkers’ kids back when I worked in an office. I paid my dues already!
I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve seen people from Chicago claim that ketchup doesn’t belong on hot dogs because it’s too sweet, and then they smother the dog with sweet pickle relish, which has a higher sugar content than ketchup, and more of it is typically used on a dog than ketchup. I don’t buy it. The aversion to ketchup is just a dumb cultural shibboleth and has nothing to do with the taste.
I don’t like babies or children. I would never hurt one, I just want them to be somewhere that I’m not.
…Mom?
I started using ketchup and hot sauce because of the powdered eggs on submarines. Now I can’t eat eggs without one or the other.
I’m leaving.
I’m totally with you regarding hot sauce. I was on a submarine once where crew members allegedly kept complaining that the food was “too spicy.” (Probably a few vocal folks from the Midwest accustomed to eating mayonnaise on Wonder bread sandwiches.) So the cooks started cutting back on the spices for everything they made to near zero. We were putting hot sauce on everything just to give the bland food some flavor.
Totally. Before I had a kid, if I had a social engagement, my heart would sink a little if there were kids there.
Now I’ve accepted that this is my fate, I have a kid I love, and I think others’ kids are okay, even charming. I don’t want to see pictures of your baby though (Dark secret time: I don’t usually watch the videos we’re sent of my toddler niece. I care about her, she lives in another state, I would much rather visit.)
Sorry.