"You're a true <insert your home city here> if you..."

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
81

A couple added to Bobotheoptimist’s list about true Denverites:

[ul]
[li]You know who Tom Shane is and can recite his store location and hours of operation, probably without any conscious thought. This is regardless of whether or not you’ve ever actually shopped there.[/li][li]If you travel to sea level, alcohol may not have as much kick, but cigarettes have more.[/li][li]You can spot the “cash register” building on any TV show or movie showing the Denver skyline.[/li][li]When the wind is just right, you can recognize the smell of Greeley.[/li][li]You may think Coors is crap (Coors Light doubly so), but you still probably know the “short tour” trick when visiting the Coors brewery to get straight to the sample bar.[/li][li]Green light: go. Yellow light: go faster. Red light: go unless more than three people are in front of you.[/li][li]You know that T-Rex is something other than a dinosaur, and are thankful that it’s finally over.[/li][li]You truly believe that Boulder is 25 square miles surrounded by reality.[/li][/ul]

82

A true Cincinnatian:
· Will say, “please” instead of “say that again”
· Knows that when they talk about having a three-way it’s about chili.
· Thinks that chili should have no beans or chunks of tomato in it and but have cinnamon
· Feels more comfortable driving 2 hours north to Columbus than 15 minutes south and across the Ohio River to Covington.
· Knows that the Enquirer is the morning paper and the Post is the evening paper.
· Calls every kind of carbonated soft drink pop.
· Thinks the worlds best ribs come from the Montgomery Inn. (I’m not a true Cincinnatian and think this is patently false.)

83

A true Cincinnatian:
· Will say, “please” instead of “say that again”
· Knows that when they talk about having a three-way it’s about chili.
· Thinks that chili should have no beans or chunks of tomato in it but have cinnamon
· Feels more comfortable driving 2 hours north to Columbus than 15 minutes south and across the Ohio River to Covington.
· Knows that the Enquirer is the morning paper and the Post is the evening paper.
· Calls every kind of carbonated soft drink pop.
· Thinks the worlds best ribs come from the Montgomery Inn. (I’m not a true Cincinnatian and think this is patently false.)

84

[QUOTE=Roonwit]
You’re a true Atlantan if:
[ul]
[li]You are not at all frustrated by directions that begin “Go down about two miles til you come to that building that used to be…”[/li]
Yep. I think I was in my early 20’s when the little dirt roads in zip code 29xxx got street names (in case of need for emergency vehicles, I’d guess). Totally threw me for a loop, I tell ya.
[li]You think ‘grease’ is the cornerstone of the Food Pyramid.[/li]
You mean, it’s not?! Okay, okay, I’ve learned that it’s not, and my doctor (who, while herself being presently located in the NY metro area–like me–is also from South Carolina) is all the more pleased.
[li]You love Jimmy Carter, whether you agree with his politics or not.[/li]
Like him, and I tended to agree with his politics. But I was a kid when he was President, so… .
[li]You know that real cornbread is white, and tastes like bread, not cake. ‘Jiffy’ mix is not cornbread.[/li]
But I like the sweet stuff! And yeah, I sometimes spied “Jiffy Mix” in Mama’s kitchen, but I think that was on her “I don’t *even * feel like bein’ bothered” days.
[li]It’s still just ‘Hartsfield’ to you.[/li]
Yeah, I still call it Hartsfield (or, alternatively, Atlanta-Hartsfield) whenever I have to connect through it.
[li]You’ve been drinking ‘Cokes’ all your life, but you’ve never had a ‘soda’ or a ‘pop’. [/li]
Well, in our part of South Carolina, it was *always * Pepsi. And water? What was that? Actually, Mama eventually taught my brother and me that water was for drinking, too.
[li]You remember when Six Flags Over Georgia was more than just asphalt and rollercoasters.[/li]
It was always Carowinds for us. Never been there myself, but I remember some of my cousins talking about it. Oh, and if you were *really * going somewhere, I guess, it was also King’s Dominion.
[li]You know that ‘you’ is singular, ‘y’all’ is always plural, and ‘all y’all’ means every last damned one of y’all.[/li][/ul]

AMEN! Would you Northerners please stop using y’all for the singular? Really, it’s not cute. If you’re gonna mock us, do it right, dammit. And yes, UncleRojelio, it is two words, but some of us do pronounce it like one. And it means exactly what **Roonwit ** says it does ('cept, for me, it’s more along the lines of “all y’all mu’fuckas…”). :smiley:

Now, for the one I just thought of (and made the mistake of saying in a group of co-workers up North once when we were about to watch some video presentation):

Is it just my part of S.C. (maybe it’s a Gullah thing), or do other Southerners say “out the light” instead of “turn the light out”?

Oh, and is there anyone out there who doesn’t know that the possessive plural is not “yours,” but “y’all’s”?

85

“Have y’all seen my car keys?”

“All y’all can just kiss my ass!!”
See the difference? :smiley:

86

BOO-na Vista?

Sorry, he’s not exclusive to Denver; his stores are all over the place, including the Bay Area. Where his radio ads are heard around the clock. Just like Denver.
Signed,

Airblairxxx, who has lived in both places.

87

Add Salt Lake City and St. Louis to the list of unfortunate towns that [annoying nasal voice] have a friend in the diamond business [/Tom Shane] :rolleyes:

88

“Byoo-nuh VIS-tuh” and “SAH-watch”

Also, Arvada is “ar-VAD-uh” (the middle syllable rhymes with “bad”) not “ar-VAY-dah” or “ar-VOD-ah”. And, although even most natives don’t care, it’s the middle name of the brother-in-law of the city founder’s wife. We apparently ran out of ideas fairly early.

Are all Shane Company stores “open every night, Monday through Friday 'til 8, Saturday and Sunday 'til 5”?

89

Winston Smith,

A true Bostonian knows that the Sox won the series in '04, not '02.

Carl, grew up in Boston, currently in Philadelphia

90

A true Bostonian:

Jaywalks without a second thought

Knows why it’s called “The People’s Republic of Cambridge”

Knows that East Boston isn’t really east

It’s called <i>Southie</i>!

Knows where somebody lives in Dorchester by the name of the local parish

Gets indignant when somebody attempts to imitate the “baw-STON” accent – the dropped “r” is a British holdover, AFAIK :wink:

Rolls their eyes at the influx of out-of-state students every September

Always, <i>always</i> holds out hope for the Sox to win another World Series, or at least get into the playoffs!

91

Snicker. Stupid numbers. :slight_smile:

2002, 2004… What am I? A numberologist?!?

92

It’s around here ‘all y’all’ is pronounced more like a single syllable much less two separate words. :wink:

93

I’ve lived here most of my life and it’s not a Vermont thing. Maybe just her family does it.
Oh, and a true Vermonter would NEVER call themselves the ‘Y’ word. EVER. Those people live in the next state over and root for the wrong baseball team. :stuck_out_tongue:

94

Native Houstonian here. Growing up, the water coming out of the faucet was usually white. Nowadays, it’s frequently brown or orange. It probably won’t make you sick, but it sure does taste like ass.

A true Houstonian:

…will not only give distances in terms of travel time, but will also qualify that according to time of day. My folks live 20 minutes away on weekends, but about 70 minutes away on weekdays.

…never walks when they can drive, even if it’s across the parking lot.

…only rides public transit when the alternative is death.

…thinks the ocean is brown.

…knows from birth that Gallery Furniture really will SAVE! YOU! MONEY!!!

95

You’re a true San Franciscan if…
You know a good place to eat on Fisherman’s Wharf, so you don’t have to disappoint the visitors.
You can tell someone the best restaurant in any price range for any type of food, and which buses will get you there from here.
You eat Rice-a-roni if you feel like it.
You are polite to the people who call the city Frisco - they are either trying to get a rise out of you or clueless. Why not be polite?
Likewise, they are cable cars, but it’s not life-threatening if someone gets it wrong.

In my experience, most of the people who take SF too seriously moved here from somewhere else :smiley:

Sassy, native San Franciscan.

96

I have a cousin in Orlando who married a guy from the same area (Rutland), and the last time I talked to her, I noticed that she had picked up this irritating habit from him. Peculiar to Rutlanders, maybe? I dunno. All I know is it drives me nuts.

I tease my Better Half about being a ‘Yankee’, but only because she thinks it’s quaint that I’ve never seen a foot of snow on the ground in my life.

And I’m a Braves fan myself, so we share a common bond concerning that ‘Y-word’ team. But I emphatically deny any association with the ‘tomohawk chop’ chanting idiots. :rolleyes:

97

I’ll chime in again with one for The City.

A true San Franciscan knows the value of a “parking space”. In fact, if need be, they can easily parallel park on the left side of a one way street that’s on a steep incline.

98

A true Angeleno isn’t particularly patriotic about L.A. For one thing, even the people who actually live within the city limits of L.A. care more about their own part of L.A. than about those idiot politicians downtown.

For sure, an Angeleno is no way obsessed about San Francisco the way San Franciscans are obsessed with their City – pretentious, that terminology, but it doesn’t change the fact that Southern California is where more people actually want to live, apparently.

The weather can be pretty bland, here, but Angelenos know that it beats having to fight the weather anywhere else. Most Angelenos are from anywhere else, so they should know. The few native Angelenos are willing to take their word for it.

It’s a unique object, that freeway. That’s why we call it “the” 405.

99

True Portlanders:

Not only don’t use umbrellas, we don’t even duck our heads down no matter how hard it’s raining–that’s for pussies! Nor under any circumstances will we allow the rain to make us walk faster.

Know what “sunbreaks” are.

Wear shorts and sandals year round, but in winter it’s wool socks with the Birkies.

Pay no mind to any kind of weather–except snow. When it snows, the entire place shuts down until it goes away, which is funny considering that 4-byes are a dozen in a dime bag.

Contrariwise, on the first really warm day in spring, any real Portlander knows there’s no use trying to get ANYTHING done after lunch, because everybody is out in the closest park sitting in the sun and they will not be attending to anything work related. It’s okay, though, because all the bosses are out there too.

Know that shorts, jeans, t-shirts, hoodies and baseball caps are perfectly acceptable attire for any function or to wear to even the fanciest restaurants.

Are a little bummed that Voodoo Donut isn’t allowed to sell the Nyquil frosted ones anymore, because those were good for what ailed ya.

Know that a half case of beer is a “half rack,” not a twelve pack, that it goes in a sack, not a bag, that it’s always “pop,” not soda, and when the guy delivers it from the truck, the wooden thing it’s sitting on is a “skid,” not a pallet.

Don’t drink Weinhard’s any more since they’re a buncha traitors and sold out to Olympia.

Know that Powell’s will always be jampacked on a Sunday morning, but they’ll go anyway.

100

If you were going to tell someone to take Hollywood Blvd. to get somewhere would you say “Take the Hollywood Blvd…”?