"You're a true <insert your home city here> if you..."

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
101

More on True Atlantans.

Live inside I-285.

Never, ever call this place Hotlanta; not even in jest or at the height of summer. “The ATL” is barely permissible for under 30s.

… can rattle off the names and locations of at least 15 streets containing the word, “Peachtree.”

… see nothing puzzling with having a neighborhood called “West End” south of downtown; nor inquire why “East Point” is further south and west than the "West End.

… still prefer Willie B to Yang Yang.

Pronounce “grits” as two syllables.

See how a passing snow flurry as a seven county metropolitan municipalpality as area paralysis is a sane and rational reaaction.

102

You’re a true Bostonian if you…

…have cut off T trains with your car. Will do it again.

…haven’t seriously tried to navigate by street sign since you got your permit.

…don’t worry about having to wait months to see your doctor because you know you live in the medical mecca of the world.

…still half expect the Sox are going to find a way to retroactively lose the '04 World Series.

…think the most unsettling breakup of the 1990s wasn’t Charles and Diana but Chet and Nat.

…still think of the Celtics as the best basketball team in the country. In a temporary slump.

…are not Catholic but still think of Cardinal O’Malley is *your * Cardinal.

…are Catholic and will go to mass as usual this week. Right after you finish your deposition in the lawsuit against the Archdiocese.

…have taken to viewing the Governership as like the English monarchy. An honorary position for socialites without real power.

…regard Boston as the intellectual hub of the U.S. and are openly contemptous of other cities’ claims to culture. You don’t trust eggheads.

103

Don’t let them scare you off. We also say “the 20” or “the 15,” and while we don’t say “the René-Lévesque Boulevard” (except in French), we do say “the Ville-Marie,” “the Metropolitan,” or “the Décarie” (autoroutes).

104

Never heard of the term Honolulu-an or Honolulu-ite. Anyway:

Can make stereotype jokes about Portagees, Pake (Chinese), Japanese, Filipinos, Hawaiians, Samoans, and even Haoles and not offend the politically correct police.

Eat everything with rice, especially chili

Spam isn’t a joke

Never comment on the weather

Wear designer aloha shirts to work and formal settings. Never a tie or suit, not even to an interview.

Scoff when others tout how their cities are multicultural and have a variety of ethnic eateries

Never, ever honk your horn.

Run yellow-red lights, cut people off, ignore pedestrians, blast your stereo, glare at slow-driving old ladies… in other words, totally rude in the car. But you ALWAYS let one car in front of you in a merging lane!

105

Oh, and there’s no North-South-East-West. Directions are Ewa side, Diamond-head side, Mauka (mountain) and Makai (ocean).

Bait haoles into saying Likelike highway, instead of Lee-kay Lee-kay Highway. And then there’s Kamehameha Highway, Kalanianaole Highway…

106

No, because Hollywood Boulevard is a concept, not a thing. And what a concept it is. :smiley:

107

A true Atlantan:

Knows how to pronounce “Manuel’s Tavern” and “Ponce de Leon.”

For that matter, they know who “Manuel” is.

Ate Krispy Kremes before (and after) it was cool.

Gets their Southern food and gentility fix at The Colonnade.

Speaking of Southern food, knows every past location of Thelma’s Kitchen, decries its sad decline, and thinks Mary Mac’s is for posers.

Can ennumerate Monica’s hair styles. (If they use all their fingers and most of their toes.)

Knows it’s not Christmas without the Pink Pig.

Knows the difference between Five Points and Little Five Points.

Lives ITP and know what “ITP” means.