You're in denial that you knocked her up

The BBQ Pit
1

Earlier this year, someone I hung out with told me a girl he was dating told him she was pregnant with his child. He denied it, stating that any other one of a number of guys is more likely the father, claiming they used protection. I asked how he was sure. He didn’t give a solid answer, just speculation.

Fast forward to two months ago. He said she gave birth to twins and that she’s sure he’s the father. He insists he’s not. I ask again how sure he is. I asked if he used protection. He said he didn’t, then went on to elaborate that he had unprotected sex with her at least 3 times. Then I asked again how sure he was, given that we’ve all taken some sort of health class at some point in our lives.

He goes on to say that he’s pretty much had unprotected sex with most girls he’s been with. I asked him what happened those previous times. He said “90% of the girls were either on the pill or used Plan B.” I told him he was nuts, that wasn’t he worried about getting a girl pregnant or catching an STD. He just shrugged it off, considering himself lucky he tested negative.

Earlier today, he sent me a message asking why I wasn’t chatting with him as much as before. I told him it bothered me that he acted as though nothing was wrong, especially given that there children now involved. His retort: “dude what’s wrong with you? You sound like a chick”

Jesus. Tap Dancing. Christ.

What the FUCK is the matter with him? Is he really in that much fucking denial? I’m tripping on how fucking self-delusional he is, that he sure loves fucking chicks bareback and leaving DNA all up in them and yet figures the chicks will always take care of the contraception. He fucking wonders why “this one asian chick” he fucked a few months ago isn’t talking to him anymore. He wonders why the girl who gave birth to twins is seeking a court order to force him to take a paternity test.

It’s mind-boggling that he’s someone who grew up in the same town I did, is only a year younger than I (I’m 31), is college educated, lives on his own, and yet has this mindset. It’s like common sense went out the fucking window.

And what’s fucked up is even after I made it clear that this situation is fucked up, he still didn’t get it and it’s gonna fuck up those kids. That’s a fucking travesty.

Fuck.

2

This guy sounds like a real douchebag.

Just curious: If it turns out he’s not the father, will you forgive him? :stuck_out_tongue:

3

I’ve known guys like that. Douchebags is right.

4

On the one hand, he’s a parent and has obligations towards his children.

Oth the other hand, they’re probably better off without him. Better no father than a jerk for a dad.

5

God forbid I should sit in moral judgment on my friends’ lives, I probably wouldn’t have any left! (And conversely, God forbid they should sit in judgment on mine).

6

I’m fairly comfortable sitting in moral judgment on this one. He’s a douchebag.

7

Friends look after each other - and that includes morally. If I ever start acting like a douchebag, I hope my friends will straighten me out.

8

Well, he’s about to find out the hard way why he should use have used protection, so your argument will be made for you. What is the going rate for standard child alimony these days? About a quarter of his income for the next eightteen years?

9

Yeah, but condoms suck.

10

if he is going to insist on bareback, he can get a vasectomy since he pretty much doesnt want children or any sort of responsibility.

Once snipped and sterile, he can go on screwing and die alone and [hopefully] childless.

11

After a night’s sleep, I’m not as ticked off though it bothers me how kids are affected by poor decisions and behavior.

12

Thing is, he’s going to be missing out, and he’ll live to regret it. Kids are wonderful.

13

Good on the girl for going to court. I know a lot of women who’d just raise them alone without any contact or money from dad.

14

Yes, he’s a twat, but if she’s lying about being on the pill and fucking several men, she’s no better. I pity those kids.

15

How drastic and man-hating.

16

Very occasionally, that isn’t enough. It would give him the best odds, though. And yes, the guy I know that had a kid after a vasectomy had the test to be sure it was his.

17

I didn’t interpret it as her hating men, but as her hating this man.

18

One of the life-lessons I’ve learned is that anyone who uses a “you sound like a chick” or “you sound like a dude” as an insult or jibe is not only an immature little asshole, but potentially a hazardous person to be around.

19

Where is that coming from? I don’t see anything about her lying about being on the pill, and the “fucking several men” is coming from the guy in possible denial. Now, I don’t know if it’s his kid or not, but he certainly ought to have the paternity test and take responsibility for this. I was a little surprised when I got to the point in the OP where he states they’re in their early 30s. I thought they were late-teens/early-twentysomethings up until that point.

20

That sounds like something a chick would think and something a dude would say :slight_smile: