I most likely wouldn’t intervene in a fight, but would probably yell for help and call 911. I would be little to no help to anyone in a straight-up fight-- I’m small and lightweight and have no physical advantage over anyone, nor do I know how to fight. Given that this is what I would do, I couldn’t hold it against anyone for doing the same.
You're violently attacked; a friend watches but doesn't physically assist you. Do you feel betrayed?
Dude ------ I was born to be shunned. 
For the first part, I’d have to say that it depends. After all the dust was settled, and assuming I came out of it ok, I would want to ask him about it. Whether I was disappointed or felt betrayed or ended the relationship, or none of those things, would depend on that conversation.
For the second part, I can be kind of a rash fool sometimes, so I believe I would jump in and try to make it 2 against 1 (against the attacker, if that needs clearing up).
eta: I’m a fairly big guy, although neither trained to fight nor muscly, but leverage counts for a lot in a street fight, especially if I could get at the attacker from the back. Even better if I could find a big stick or something sharp.
I’m not an experienced brawler. A hard football tackle is about all that I could do.
calling 911 and getting help is the top priority. Yelling to attract attention might help too. jumping into a fight would be a reluctant choice for me.
I’d probably feel that I let a friend down.
Happened to me. Thirty years ago. All involved were girls aged 14 or so. Me and my bff friend were at a bus stop, i went in the snackbar on my own and got attacked for no reason, by a group of three girl bullies looking for some fun. It all happened very quickly, they followed me out the snackbar, into the sightline of my friend and the other people at the bus stop. Calling names, taunting, kicking my shins, threatening to burn me with a cigarette, then they laughed, turned and ran. I stoof there crying. After a few minutes, my friend came up to me and lamely said she hadn’t intervened because " she thought i knew those girls".
We stayed bff’s afterward, but i never felt the same about her afterwards.
I was more helped by a guy who drove up to me as i stood there crying and who told me: " that’s that (name) girl, she’s done stuff like this before. " when i wanted to go to the local police with that name, neither my mom nor the police was helpful, but that is a different story.
Honesty demands i tell the same thing happened with another friend, when we were both about nine years old. We got both chased by a large group of girl bullies, but they were more interested to “get” her then me. They taunted her and rubbed sticky candy in her hair while i slinked away. Things were never the same with us afterwards, either.
I would feel sorely disappointed. As for stepping up myself, I have done that - for a random stranger - but before it got to the actual violence stage.
I would be annoyed but I’m 57 and I have learned you can never know what someone will do when threatened. I’d intervene but I am large and strong and not used to feeling physically intimidated so it might be stupidity on my part re getting myself killed.
Some will run, some will freeze, and some will jump in. The more cowardly people might actually be better friends in a different context ( ie loan you money, be a sympathetic ear etc.) vs the physically protective person. You can’t pick friends on the basis of “will you physically protect me” that’s bit much to ask of anyone you’re not paying to be a bodyguard.
Instant ex-friend. I have no respect for someone who calls himself a friend, but can’t back it up when necessary. I’d do the same for him. I might try to save the friendship, but it wouldn’t last.
If I was going to describe my friends with a situation like this in mind, I’d use words like “soft”, “doughy”, and “middle-aged” (please don’t tell them I said that). If they waded into the battle we’d just end up with two victims instead of one. Moving a safe distance away and summoning help via the emergency services would probably be the best way they could help me.
The friend in the OP does more than my cousin and her friends did when one of them attacked me, back when we still counted as college-age.
I didn’t feel betrayed because I already knew cousin and co had spines made of cake frosting, but thank the god of guitars for those metalheads who did step in. If it hadn’t been for them and despite the attacker being horribly clumsy, I could have ended in the hospital or worse (he had a handspan on me, with proportional additional weight).
If there was a situation like the one in the OP, so long as my friends acted correctly (which changes depending on things like age and physical shape) I wouldn’t have a problem. If one that I knew to have safety training happened to freeze I’d be surprised, but often people simply have no idea what to do.
^
I know this because I’ve been in that situation. Not only did my ex-friend not help, he actually turned and ran, the coward. Never forgave him for that. Friendship was never the same and ended a couple of years later.
My friends and I have been through a ridiculous amount together, so if they flaked on me whilst someone was beating me up, I’d forgive 'em. However, I’d expect them to have jumped in nevertheless. If you can’t count on your friends to be there in whatever capacity you need, exactly what else can you rely on? So, color me disappointed, but I’d get over it.
I have a lot of friends, of widely varying levels of size and fitness. Some I would be sorely disappointed with, others I’d be happy that they at least called for help after retreating, and would think no less of them. Me, if a friend of mine get jumped, I’m going in swinging. And I fight dirty, so “swinging” will probably involved garroting them with my belt…
deep breath
This happened to me, I was the friend, I was a scared, cowardly, skinny kid. I was too scared to do anything and it probably cost me my friendship. I’ve been dreaming of someday making up for it so I have fantasies of me violently attacking someone who’s attacking someone I know. If it really happens, I have no idea how I would react, I might end up killing someone, or freeze again
This.
If the friend did nothing, then it might damage the friendship. But yelling for help and calling 911 seems like the smart and infinitely more effective move for my friends given their lack of fighting prowess.
I also have no idea how to fight and would be likely to just make things worse overall. I’m sure I’d want to do something - but jumping in seems like a bad idea. Better to get someone capable involved.
I would prefer my friend stay out of it and get help. If both of us get beaten up or killed how does that help?
Meh. The OP sets up a situation where all the friend has to do is sucker punch the attacker. Said attacker is even specified not to be superhuman. Seriously, I would not want to continue a friendship with someone so chickenshit s/he couldn’t help out with even a clumsy kick or shove. Age and physical handicaps are taken into account, of course, but reasonably healthy and vigorous men in their mid-50s (i.e. my friends) should recognize there is still an expectation for them to step up.
Interesting contrast. Something to be said for both of these points of view, but as you might guess I favor astro’s.
It’s possible that I’d feel a bit disappointed on the emotional/gut level, but my brain level says there’s no reason to. Besides, “able bodied” covers a wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide range of people, a hell of a lot of whom would still be physically incapable of successfully fighting someone off of anyone.
And to answer what I would do:
I don’t know.
And I strongly and sincerely mean it. Minus people who have undergone extensive training, I don’t think anyone can know for sure (or virtually sure, either) what their reaction would be to any sort of sudden threat or event. Everyone talks about the Fight or Flight response, but there’s another option: Freeze. And that’s the most common immediate response. Sometimes you then break into fight or flight, but you may also stay frozen in tonic immobility.* I have no way of knowing what I’d actually do, and that applies to my friend as well (another reason I wouldn’t feel betrayed).
- Humans are still animals. We play dead, too.
Ew. 