How can you even call yourself a friend if you aren’t prepared to help that person when in need?
What the fuck do people think a friend really is?
You're violently attacked; a friend watches but doesn't physically assist you. Do you feel betrayed?
But the person in the OP does help.
Another scenario:
There is a fire. You, not knowing how to put a fire out, go into hysterics. Your friend runs out of the room, comes back with an extinguisher and puts the fire out.
There is a fire. You, not knowing how to put a fire out, go into hysterics. Your friend takes you by the shoulders and starts repeating “calm down, honey, take it easy”.
Q: who is actually doing what he should?
It seems to me as if a lot of people either haven’t really read the OP or can’t imagine the friend being someone for whom jumping into the fray would be the worst possible idea.
Nope. Not in any world I want to be part of.
Why don’t you have a scenario. A mother and her 5 year old child are in a park. A grown man comes along and starts kicking shit out of the five year old. The mother retreats to a safe distance and calls 911 while her child was getting assaulted.
You think thats the best the mother could have done? You think it matters that the mother was smaller and weaker than the man kicking the shit out of her child?
It doesn’t matter that you are weak when it comes to helping your friends, you fucking get in there anyway and take the lumps with them. If you aren’t prepared to do that for your friends then you aren’t friends at all, just acquaintances.
That’s a little over the top. I don’t expect my friends to defend me as ferociously as a mother with her child.
Then there are friends, and there are* friends*.
If I seen one of my mates getting jumped by a biker gang damn sure I’m jumping in beside him. How could anybody look at themselves in the mirror if they didn’t?
Interestingly enough, I’ve been in a situation not all that unlike what is described in the OP, where I was with a few friends and we were attacked by a larger group. One of my friends was getting the crap kicked out of him and another ran off to a safe distance and watched. I came to the defense of my friend who was getting the crap kicked out of him by taking out the guys attacking him. It’s surprising how powerful the fight-or-flight response is when a loved one is in danger. I don’t even remember any of it and only know what happened because of the friend that retreated and watched. All I really know is I protected my friend and I, surprisingly, came out unscathed.
So, in response to how I voted. I can say with absolutely certainty I would be willing to use violence to defend my friend, but it’s also the only time in my entire life I’ve ever used violence, and I’ve even avoided fights where I’d been seriously threatened or even physically assaulted myself. I can also say that I wouldn’t feel betrayed, or at least I didn’t feel betrayed in this case. That particular friend, it was consistent with who he was and, really, it would have been more shocking if he HAD helped. I imagine I probably would feel betrayed if I had a friend that I believed was capable, physically and mentally, of helping me out in a situation where I needed it and either chose not to help or was too much of a coward.
Then again, I’ve always been the defender type, so it doesn’t bother me as much as it probably should when people threaten or strike me, and I’m willing to defend loved ones. The funny thing is, even in all other cases where violence probably was justifiable, usually the impending threat of physical retaliation is enough to end or prevent it. That is, the patently clear willingness to follow through, and not just blindly jumping in. So that’s why I’ve only had to do it once.
I would not feel betrayed, but maybe a little let down. You never know how you’ll act in an emergency. The level-headed and rational thing to do in my opinion is seek help through screaming and running away. Trying to defend someone when I don’t have a weapon and don’t know what weapon the attacker might have would be stupid. Plus I’m a coward.