You've Got Head Lines Going the Wrong Way

In honor of my 2,000th post (note: by the time you read this, the counter will likely have ticked higher), I’m creating a thread repository for all your headlines that make you go, hnnh?

[Mods: I’m assuming that a critical analysis of media headlines would fall under ‘literature.’ But if there’s a better forum, sorry, and go ahead and move this along.]

Type of headlines for this thread: typos; amphibolies; ironic juxtapositions; tasteless; and the just plain poorly worded.

Optional: Your humorous comment that shows how the headline is odd or poorly worded or can be taken in a different way.

And so, from the Metro Section of the NY Times on Tuesday, March 9, 2004 we have the two first entries:

City Police Giving Back Seized Cars.

Well, if the cops had remembered to change the oil…
Police Shoot 2 Men After a Tip About Marijuana in an Apartment

I didn’t know dropping a dime on MaryJane users puts cops in such a rage. They shold have at least gone to the apartment first.


[Headlines are size 5 and Times New Roman font, bolded]

[Obviously, the hamsters are screwing with me. They just took 40 off my post total. <sigh> Oh, my Kingdom for a 1 minute post facto edit function.]