You find yourself magically transferred into Trump’s body, and somehow know that you have 5 minutes before you switch back. Thinking quickly, you realize that he famously said that he could shoot someone on fifth avenue and not lose support, you begin to brainstorm what you can do to test that hypothesis.
What could you do that wouldn’t just be dismissed as him joking, or morally bankrupt like nuking Omaha that would get his support to crumble?
Blow a 16 year old Latino twink on multiple news cameras while sodomizing myself with a crucifix and snorting fat rails of meth. If it doesn’t cause enough uproar there’s a ton of money to be made marketing THAT mess.
Well, I mean, Ivanka isn’t exactly unattractive…
How about punching Mitch McConnell in the face over and over?
Dunno if it would turn him, but it would be worth it anyway.
I’m guessing he doesn’t have one of those ready to go at a moment’s notice!
Even better optics if he just grabs an unwilling intern and goes to town.
Man, that’s a tough assignment. Maybe a few tweets, I guess?
*@real(ButTemporarilyMagicallyPossessed)DonaldTrump
Man, can you believe these fucking god-botherers? Those rubes are my BASE! They actually think I’m on their side! The pussy-grabbing, me talking about how great I am (Just like Jesus! LOL!) That “Two Corinthians” thing, they just eat it all up with a spoon!..
@real(ButTemporarilyMagicallyPossessed)DonaldTrump
…They babble about “King Cyrus” or some shit! I’m tellin’ ya, Rudy, if I can just stay the fuck out of prison, I’m gonna make a MINT off this gig! This is the greatest long con I’ve ever pulled!!!*
Followed by
*@real(ButTemporarilyMagicallyPossessed)DonaldTrump
FUCK!!! I DIDN’T MEAN TO SEND THAT OUT TO EVERYBODY ON FUCKING TWITTER! OH FUCK ME! AW MAN WE ARE ALL SO FUCKED NOW!!!
@real(ButTemporarilyMagicallyPossessed)DonaldTrump
That was supposed to be on WhatsApp!!! Not fucking Twitter!!! Maybe Vladimir or Jong-un will give me asylum?!? FUUUUCK!*
And then, just as I was about to return to my own body, I’d drop his phone and stomp on it, to stave off the inevitable “Oh, gosh, I was just joking! Can’t you liberal snowflakes take a JOKE?” follow-up tweet for as long as possible.
This is easy. I would announce that I was requesting that Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh resign their seats on the SCOTUS. I would specify that while Gorsuch has not done anything personally wrong, that the circumstances of his appointment were unjust and that this needs to be corrected. I would also air whatever proof I had on Kavanaugh’s dirty laundry. I would then say that I’m nominating Sri Srinivasan and Patricia Ann Millett yo take their places. Should Gorsuch and / or Kavanaugh refuse to step down I would announce that I would instead be expanding the SCOTUS to 11 seats. I would also specify that this new SCOTUS is being appointed with the explicit goal of reinforcing Roe vs. Wade and to curtail 2nd amendment rights as much as possible. With the rest of my time I would call out Moscow Mitch and demand he cooperate with the plan or he will be the next one to be thrown under the bus.
ETA. My opinion is basically that the only thing Trump could do to alienate his supporters is if he turned out to secretly be a liberal, and start governing as one.
Get a video camera and several witnesses in front of me as quickly as possible, and say, “Please help me. There is a demon that’s possessed my body, and this is the first chance I’ve had in 20 years to be free of its control. Already I can feel it taking me back, and when it does, our country will once more be under the sway of a demon. I think it may literally be the spirit of the Antichrist, and its powers of persuasion are extremely strong. It has made me commit numerous crimes in its demonic service, and I have been helpless to stop it. Don’t believe anything it says. Whatever happens, I must be removed from power. Do whatever it takes. Whatever it takes! WHATEVER IT TAKES! AGAHGAHGGHBVBASLSAS” until my time runs out.
If I die in his body will I still switch back?
"As president, I realize black people and muslims have been very badly mistreated by mainstream society. THat is why I’m proposing one trillion dollars in reparations to go to black people and muslims.
These reparations will be funded by taxes on churches, the sales of firearms, and taxes on southern whites since southern whites have been such a major force of racial injustice in American history.
We will also be offering legal citizenship to 10 million muslims and latinos each year. First come first served.
Also to heal the damage of racial injustice, every black person who votes will have their vote counted twice. Every black person is now 10/5th of a citizen.
Also I am now mandating that 50% of all police officers must be black women"
One of my chief concerns with Donald Trump was that he’d revert back to his NYC-lib ways. Luckily, liberals have attacked him with such venom that I no longer have to worry about that.
In 5 minutes? He couldn’t materially affect SCOTUS. I doubt he could get Vice-President Pence to resign and then himself resign (and that would kind of defeat the point of the hypothetical since “his supporters” don’t matter if he’s not President). Probably the most significant thing he could do would be to blast out a criminal confession over Twitter or something. Include some hard evidence of serious crimes.
Nah. Even Lindsey Graham could punch harder than trump.
That was also my first thought, but then I’d worry that even suicide would turn him into a martyr–some liberal conspiracy must’ve killed him. (Heck, they wouldn’t be far off, in this scenario.)
Given my goals, however, I do think the next best thing might work: Resignation.
It has to be done right, though. You can’t just post it (or anything else) on Twitter, as that would be easy for him to say he was hacked when he comes back. It has to be done in public.
Furthermore, it has to be a “wimpy” resignation. It has to be that he’s afraid of being impeached, and include an omission of wrongdoing. And, yes, some “fuck you idiots for falling for it” stuff would be good.
But the main point is to get him out of office. It won’t work right away, but simply having him seem beaten and no longer in his authoritarian position will weaken his support. And then there’s the inevitably loss of support of all who fall away. He’s now a convenient scapegoat for anything bad.
And Pence has a better chance of winning, and his win would help hurt Trump a lot. The OP didn’t say I had to care about the country, just getting Trump to lose support.
Everyone hates Nixon, so I’m just doing what Nixon did. He had supporters all the way up until after he resigned.
No need to make this complicated. “As of today, I am focusing entirely on getting all privately-owned guns outlawed.”
I feel like a lot of these things he could still get out of when he takes back control by just saying it was a joke to mess with liberals.
He would just retreat into his shell.
The obvious answer: resign from office.
Sure, he would be trying to un-resign five minutes later when he regained control but a resignation has no take-backs.
That’s why I think demon possession is the way to go. You know he’s gonna deny it all. Grab the narrative.