dood:
it’s been said: be careful.
Long months at sea, Chief?
Goldie
Gentlemen prefer blondes – with good reason!
Auto-Falcon?
(Oh, yeah. I’m gettin’ the shit kicked outta me in Norfolk!)
No SHIT, sailor. You’re dead. 
And oh yeah, Melin wants to know if she can watch. I said sure…hell, maybe I’ll charge admission and let EVERYONE watch!
I’ll bring extra quarters if everyone wants to watch…
Your friends are evidently more restrained than mine. One trip to Vegas and two of the three friends I’m with took a taxi to a whore house (kinda funny, they jumped in, asked the driver where they could find a brothel, and they were off). One guy: $300 for a “bubble bath.” The other, $350+ for sex - no cutesy euphemism offered.
Anyway, have fun Lizard. Don’t forget to tip. 
Chief, you’ve finally done it.
I’m utterly speechless. Just standing here with my mouth hanging open at the audacity of that last comment.
There’s at least a couple jokes here, I just know it…
Why am I hearing Lou Reed’s Take A Walk On the Wild Side" in the background?
Don’t forget the tip.
Lizard: Please let us know how this goes. I’ve done this before, under very different circumstances, and it was one of the worst (sexual) experiences of my life. But, I was there on a mission, so to speak, which was not to get laid. That was merely a nice benefit.
For the record it cost me about $75 for the “full body massage.” And, it was completely legal where I did it.
Why did I do it? Read this thread.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
“You can keep the tip.”
BA-dum CHING!
A friend of the hubby’s was in town during a messy divorce. He bitched nonstop about needing a woman so hubby called a local escort service. After getting our credit card info, they promise to dispatch a lovely co-ed to friends hotel. The lovely co-ed arrives and friends’ room is called. She asks for my hubbys name (it was on the c.c.) and moron friend says wrong number. She tries back twice, moron repeats the performance. The worst part- we had to pay for it. We still tell people how our friend is such a loser he couldn’t even get lucky with a hooker.
Good Luck!
Well, one hou to go until H-time…(Hooker time)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!
So? What happened?
Was it everything you were hoping for?
Did you get robbed?
Would you do it again?
Did you wake up in the bathtub, with one of your kidneys missing?
Did you get gyped?
Did she massauge that crick out of your neck?
Was she a narc?
Just mildly curious.
You’re screwing a whore at 9:30 in the morning???
Wow… I usually can’t do anything til I’ve had my orange juice and coffee.
Gee… do you think he’s nervous?
Ok, as I figure it, as I’m writing this post, Lizard is having a ‘massage’. Wow, seems better that being at work like I am.
Which reminds me of a hooker joke. hehehe
Hooker: “Hi, mister, for $100.00, I’ll do anything that you can describe in three words.”
The man thinks for a moment and says… “Paint my house”
“Alex, I’ll take ‘Hookers for $100’”.
“The answer is, ‘The morning of August 17th, 2000’”.
…