Oddly, yes…
Emphasis mine – that’s hilarious. The best part is when you’re standing in front of a mirror to pop a “surprise” zit; the resulting spray pattern is quite interesting.
I think…
…I think… I’m going… to vomit.
One morning, I awoke to find that Malibu Barbie’s plastic
surgeon had gotten seriously lost, putting her breast implant in my
chin. When I rolled over, I felt it there, like a marble underneath my
skin. Oh holy hell…
I got up and looked in the mirror. The alien egg sac growing
on my face had a shadow. Not good. I went about my day, thinking about
what I should do to the abomination. That night, I went to bed, but
had the usual insomnia, so I decided to declare war on my uninvited
guest.
I got out of bed, went to the bathroom cabinet, and got a
syringe. Since this thing was hard as a rock, it was easy to find an
injectable spot underneath. All I had to do was pull my bottom lip
inwards, and a space opened up. That night, I introduced 0.1cc of
cleocin and 0.1cc dexamethasone.
Because I couldn’t sleep, time was meaningless. I don’t know
how long I lay there, but at some point when it was still dark, I
pressed against the creature. It had softened around the edges. For
the first time ever, I didn’t pick at the growing bacterial colony, I
just put on some Bactroban.
Over the next few nights, I injected enough cleocin to
extinguish the fire on a sailor just off shore leave from bangkok. I
think I made about 4 injections of 0.1cc at 600mg/4cc. On the last
night, I felt two spots on the inside that were still hard, so I
injected 0.1cc into each of the spots.
From all of the bacterial waste, immune cells, and debris
collecting in that spot, the outter epidermis had become stretched.
With the last 0.2cc, the skin was pushed beyond its point of
elasticity.
I went to bed that night, and, once again, lay there. After
awhile, I felt a tickling on my chin. I got up to see a pink fluid
running from the sore down my chin when i went to the bathroom mirror.
With an alcohol swab, I took my index finger and applied pressure
straight down on the center of the now-leaking face rot.
Pink fluid oozed from out all sides of the crust that had
formed over the top. There was very little viscosity and no smell, so
i would have killed for a blood agar plate to culture this creature. I
went to my desk to get some bactroban, and as I applied the ointment,
the skin that had been concealing the plague fell off.
The cleocin liquified the bacteria while the stress murdered
the epidermis. There is now a gigantic hole in my face, but I can
sleep easy knowing that there was no antibiotic resistance created.
Nothing could have survived long enough for a plasmid transfer.
My experiment in bacterial holocoust may have given me a scar. Glad I
just got a dermatologist…
Sat Mar 13 05:42:01 PST 2004
it’s been over a year. i still have a scar.
My greatest triumph-over-a-pimple involved one in my ear. It was directly on the hard flat part next to the canal. (You know, diagrams that illustrate the various parts of the outer ear ought to be googleable, but I couldn’t find one). Anyhow, I couldn’t get my fingers around it, but I finally I realized that I could stick one finger into the canal itself and push sideways, compressing the zit aganist the bone, and WHAM. Ahhhh…
Anyhow, am I the only one who wonders how the OP acquired her knowledge of, and collection of, syringes and antibiotics? I’m more than a little disturbed. Disturbed… and turned on. No, on second though, just disturbed.
But welcome to the boards, Spinster. Nice to see another Bay Area Doper.
i have one of those… and a corresponding beyond disgusting story that involves at least 6" projectile pus of at least 3cc in quantaties. it involves an infection that spread from way down to a lymph node.
story upon request.
i have one of those… and a corresponding beyond disgusting story that involves at least 6" projectile pus of at least 3cc in quantaties. it involves an infection that spread from way down to a lymph node.
i am permanently on antibiotics for it- per order of gyn and dermatologist.
story upon request.
for places like that, my parents taught me to use a bobby pin. not only do you get convience, you get to see what you won!
Oh, believe me, it pretty much killed my appetite for lunch. And I have a cast-iron stomach.
Robin
Damn, I have never had anything that cool pop on me, though I just burst a zit on my eyelid a few days ago. Yes, on my freakin’ EYELID. It was there for several months, and I thought it was just a skin tag or something, until… there was a whitehead. At last! The result was most satisfying.
Congratulations on your very own stye! My son used to get them all the time.
I’m just sorry that Coldfire resigned his moderator status before this thread emerged – thereby relieving him of the responsibility of reading this thread. I do believe he’d vomit before he got to the end of the OP. And we could tease him mercilessly.
I think you just ruined breasts for me.
Turns out it was a chalazion, which is not actually an infection, it’s just a build up of oil in a gland of the eyelid. It was not on the eyelash line but smack in the middle of my right upper eyelid. It didn’t hurt or turn red or anything, it just ever so slowly got bigger and bigger. Being the bodily nitpicker that I am, I’d stare at it in the magnifying mirror (if you’re reading this thread, you probably have one too). Finally, I saw what I was looking for-- that white dot that means, time to squeeeeeeeze, baby. Whoo hoo!
We are a sick bunch, aren’t we? But I’m grateful to find that I’m not alone in my prurient interest in this stuff.
Please do. I would also would like some brochures and to subscribe to your newsletter.
newsletter. snort. i’m just full of pus is all…
anyway, i have hydrodenitis (sp?) between the bottom of my left labia and by butt crack. started from an ingrown hair, like the story above.
for some reason a few years ago, and as yet to be determined, it got angry. very angry.
there was swelling, but it wouldn’t drain. i did everything my gyn said, but nothing. it just kept getting bigger and bigger and more sore. it got to be the size of a swollen thumb, then spread up the crack of my leg until it hit a lymph node & the whole inside of my leg got big.
it stayed this way, squishy and red for days and days. i went to the syringe again. nothing. couple of days of that. finally, post-syringe, i squeezed. pus shot out at leas 8 inches… about 4-5 times. it did this for days. i have a pretty gross friend- she wanted a vial of it, so i used an old film can to collect some, then transfer it to a glass vial. she got about 3ccs.
it still gets mad sometimes, but i’m on antibiotics, so it has never gotten like that again. i mean, i don’t even know how much is in a thick 8" squirt of pus…
there is permanently a knot there. my gyn & an md in the hospital where my dad works said the only way to get rid of it is surgery or wait 20 years… and that i should stop shaving my labia. i didn’t have a job at the time, so my dad and i had a big thing over “dad, i know i’m 25, but can i have 600$ for laser hair removal?” i have a job now. i’m saving for that so that i don’t get another one of those bastards.
not a very detailed story, but i can’t see down there.
oh yeah, i also saved that white oil stuff from zits for that girl, but it started to smell before i got much, so i threw it away. she wanted an extra vial to collect her plaque.
shiver.
Oh man! A zit thread just in time!
I had a marble sized knot on my bottom spew forth a gallon of bloody pus goo this past weekend. WTF was that?
The gluteous maximus crack is not the easiest thing to see on your own so I had to employ Mr. Ruby for some armchair surgery. According to him, it was most gratifying. :rolleyes: