What is the polite way to ask for oral sex?

[dalovindj]

At the beginning of a relationship, when you are first having sex, and you want to tell the other person to give you a little oral pleasure, what is the nice way to say it? Some people start talking dirty instantly, so that's a no-brainer. But, assuming a partner who is shy, how do you ask without just saying the unimpressive "Suck my dick."?

"Will you go down?"
Seems a little too timid.

"Kiss it, please."
Maybe?

"If you go down on me I will go down on you."
Bartering. I guess you could call it bribery depending on how you look at it.

Any suggestions? Oops. Gotta go. It's nap time.

DaLovin' Dj

[Hello Again]

Go down on the good lady first. Why should SHE have to go first?

[Dieter]

"Honey,. does my penis taste like pepermint to you?"

[Speaker for the Dead]

That makes it sound like you've already tasted it

[Manda JO]

I don't think oyu should ask for it on the very first sexual encounter. I'd be irritated by someone who did: the first sexual encounter should be about people doing what they want to do, and realitivly request-free.

Assuming there is a second encounter, I tend to think it is best to bring the issue up first in a non-sexual context: while snuggled in front of hte TV or something, ask "Do you like oral sex?"

If they say "no" or "recieving, yes, but not giving", then you have to decide whether or not you want to stay in a relationship with no blow jobs; that's a personal choice and there is no right or wrong answer.

If they say "yes", then you say: "so do I. We'll have to try that next time." It may even lead to "next time" happening right then and there.

[Venoma]

I would just like to say Manda JO is so goddamn smart.

When the hell are you getting your own talk show, huh?

[capybara]

Suggest 69-- it's fun, it's egalitarian, it's good for everyone at the same time, and you get to phrase it as a 'should we?" instead of 'would you?'.
I can't believe I'm posting in a sex advice thread. For shame.

[KneadToKnow]

"Suck me, beautiful."

[JohnBckWLD]

Don't ask, Don't tell.

Forget 68, stick with a classic...

After an appropriate amount of foreplay (cigar optional), work your way into a 69 position. One of the advantages to being male is it just kinda sticks out there, weeping for attention.

[RTFirefly]

Originally posted by Venoma
I would just like to say Manda JO is so goddamn smart.

When the hell are you getting your own talk show, huh?

I'd tune in!

Manda JO, you're the cat's pajamas.

[Gatopescado]

I grew up in a ski-town, and have always been partial to "Give me Rossignol or give me Head!"

Or, boldly proclaim, "I'm the inflatable man! Blow me up!"

___________
She said she loved me like a brother. Thats great, cause she's from Arkansas!

[LolaCocaCola]

Why dontcha just say what this guy in a 3-piece business suit asked us as he was polishing the ol' kielbasa during lunch hour by a pond in Central Park:






"Ladies, care to suck my dick?"

[SpartanDC]

For me it's always kind of been a "if it feels right, do it" sort of thing. The only times I've tried it and my instincts have been wrong was because the girl thought someone else in the apartment might hear it.

So, basically, I've never asked. I'm a "ladies first" kinda guy, so I just make my way down there and hope for the best. It's always worked so far. Perhaps not everyone has this instinct, however.

[GopherGod72]

I believe the "2 Live Crew" prefered, "Suck my dick bitch and make it PUKE!" If I remember correctly. I myself have not tried this.

As always, remember, YMMV but the 2 live crew had lots of Ho's.

[GopherGod72]

Originally posted by SNenc
The only times I've tried it and my instincts have been wrong was because the girl thought someone else in the apartment might hear it.

She thought someone would HEAR a blowjob but not whatever else you were ingaged in? LOL I hope you didn't buy that.

[OxyMoron]

dj, there's an astonishingly simple solution to your dilemma:




















Date men.



Seriously. I've met, been friends with, and had sex with enough gay men to know that only a tiny minority don't like giving head. Really. Oral sex is much more fundamental to gay men than it is to straight people - it's not merely a prelude to something else. (In contrast, I know quite a few gay men who don't much like butt sex, or reserve it for special occasions.) Sex between men? Oral sex is almost guaranteed.


Ok, so there's that pesky business of having a man attached to the head in question, but y'know, non-beggars can't be choosers .....

[OxyMoron]

Y'know, I'm re-reading my answer, and I'm realizing: I have never, ever had to ask a guy to go down on me.

If I were ever in the position of having to ask, I have no idea what I'd say. No wonder you're so befuddled, dj.....

[astro]

Originally posted by OxyMoron
Y'know, I'm re-reading my answer, and I'm realizing: I have never, ever had to ask a guy to go down on me.

If I were ever in the position of having to ask, I have no idea what I'd say. No wonder you're so befuddled, dj.....

Yeah, yeah. yeah.... River in Egypt meet OxyMoron. OxyMoron meet river in Egypt.

[SpartanDC]

Originally posted by GopherGod72


She thought someone would HEAR a blowjob but not whatever else you were ingaged in? LOL I hope you didn't buy that.

Ugh, let me clarify... one time this happened was after a second date with a girl and we went back to my apartment, where I have a roommate who I share a wall with, a wall both of our beds are on. But, one week later, when I slept at her place, where she lives by herself, she didn't have any issues with oral sex and was pretty eager about it.

The other time was during a drunken hook-up thing in college where the girl's roomie was sleeping on the lower bunk. Anytime I got too, um, happy, she would put her hand over my mouth. In retrospect, I shouldn't have done that one.

[Largo62]

Just say, "Why, of course it's okay to talk with your mouth full. You were saying?"

[gobear]

See, that's why you need to get with a gay guy. Trust me, you never need to ask to get some head!

[RTFirefly]

Yeah, but for some of us, Oxy's absolutely right: the "pesky business of having a man attached to the head in question" just takes it right out of play.

No offense to youse that likes it that way, but I went through some pretty long dry spells when I was single, and I was never that desperate...

[Shakes]

Grab a scruff of her hair and guide her down there like a tame horse. She'll get the picture.

Or you could ask her if she would like a good face fucking.

[Daoloth]

My opinion: Go down of her first, and be gentle. But only do with the utmost confidence.

Otherwise, tell her this, "Take my man-organ into your oral cavity, shebitch."

[OxyMoron]

Originally posted by astro


Yeah, yeah. yeah.... River in Egypt meet OxyMoron. OxyMoron meet river in Egypt.

(which really doesn't look enough like he's sticking his tongue out, but hey )

[Mr. Cynical]

"Yo, toots, how about snarling on the boa?"

Alternatively..."Please gobble my choad."

[Speaker for the Dead]

I think "Would you go down on me?" is the politest sounding. Next I would have to suggest Daoloth's suggestion.

[waterj2]

"five dolla sucky sucky?"

[jayjay]

I have to agree with the other gay guys...I read the OP and was completely baffled why someone would have to ask someone to go down on him...

I don't think I've ever asked anyone to do that. Hell, I don't think I've ever asked anyone if I could do that.

The gay sex thing is worlds different from the straight sex thing, isn't it?

jayjay

[Patricinus Scriblerus]

Originally posted by Mr. Cynical
"
Alternatively..."Please gobble my choad."

Why does this not shock me coming from you... please tell me you dont ACTUALLY use this line.

I prefer asking if she has ever played the skin flute

[spheric thor]

"How about a little slickem on the hang down baby?"

[stockton]

Just say "can I borrow your ears for a minute?"

She'll say "why?"

You'll do a pantomime of reaching up, closing both hands into fists, and yanking your fists down into your lap. Then you do the Hommina! Hommina! Hommina! pumping motion with your pelvis.

If this doesn't work, ask her if she knows the difference between fried chicken and a blowjob. She'll say: "No, tell me."
You say: "Let's go on a picnic tomorrow."

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by gatopescado
I grew up in a ski-town, and have always been partial to "Give me Rossignol or give me Head!"

Well, woohoo! I already own a pair of Viper FX, so that would leave the other party with merely one option.

[plnnr]

Whatever happened to nonverbal communication? Positions should just happen in the natural course of human events (which, I believe, is in the preamble to the Constitution). You'll end up exploring, she'll end up exploring (assuming, of course, that she likes to explore). If she never ventures south of your navel you can probably take that as a sign.

Then you kick her out of bed (just kidding there, folks).

[WavyDavy]

How about...."Why don't you wrap your warm mouth around me, love?" or "Be my private porn star".

Good luck,

Dave

[bernse]

Originally posted by capybara
Suggest 69-- it's fun, it's egalitarian, it's good for everyone at the same time, and you get to phrase it as a 'should we?" instead of 'would you?'.

Most. Overrated. Position. EVER.

I'm not accusing you of anything, capybara, but I think that most people that recomend it have never tried it.

It sucks.
And not in the good way.

[Honey]

Originally posted by bernse


Most. Overrated. Position. EVER.

I'm not accusing you of anything, capybara, but I think that most people that recomend it have never tried it.

It sucks.
And not in the good way.

I would definately recommend it and it's a 3 times a week thing for me. It is my ultimate favorite position in the world. The only drawback is that I'm..er..done after just a few minutes.

[roadrunner70]

No problemo...

1. Give her a yeast infection. (use your imagination...I can't do everything for you)

2. Act real horny. (apparently, not a problem)

3. Bet y'all thought I was gonna say "Hi Opal", didn't ya? HAH!

4. Chase her around the room, telling her how bad you need to have sex with her.

5. When she says "I can't have sex, I have a yeast infection, and the doctor advised me not to."

6. Ask her "What does your dentist say?"

[CalMeacham]

All these posts and not one person remarks on the importance of saying "Please".


Manners help. Manners and style always help.

[dalovindj]

"Please" was in the OP. Read it again. Still, somehow, saying please in bed seems a bit wierd. And which fork are you supposed to use? Manners and bedroom passion. I'm not sure they go together.

It looks like I should take the most common advice in this thread. Maybe I do need to find someone who is gay. Taht settles it. I'm going to start dating lesbians. I hear the bar Meow Mix is a real good time . . .

DaLovin' Dj

[Jman]

I've got an interesting dilemma right now...the girl I'm seeing has no problem going down there for me (but just for foreplay, which is fine), but she doesn't like me down on her, which disappoints me, since it's one of my strengths. BTW, it's been all body language for us..and I don't need to ask her.

Jman

[Maeglin]

Taht settles it. I'm going to start dating lesbians. I hear the bar Meow Mix is a real good time . . .

It is....if you have a female escort. And if you manage to get a friend willing to go with you, well, drop me an email, eh?

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by bernse
Most. Overrated. Position. EVER.

I'm not accusing you of anything, capybara, but I think that most people that recomend it have never tried it.

It sucks.
And not in the good way.

I disagree completely.

[Homebrew]

I once had a guy ask me if I would like for him to suck my dick - while we were naked on my bed. I was stunned that he would even bother to ask.

Does a bear shit in the woods? Hell yes, I'd like that. In fact, I was pretty much counting on it.

[Sengkelat]

"I bet you five bucks you can't deep throat me."

Or you could describe in explicit detail how great all your past girlfriends were at giving head. With luck your GF will insist on showing you that she's better than they were.

Or you could draw lips on your hand with a magic marker and explain that that way you're getting oral sex when you masturbate. Maybe she'll take a hint.

Originally posted by bernse
Most. Overrated. Position. EVER.

...I think that most people that recomend it have never tried it.

I recommend it, and I have indeed tried it, if by "tried" one means "done it as often as possible and with great enthusiasm." I admit, I always feel a little awkward on top (one slip and she'll be gaggig) but being on the bottom...there's not much better.

[Cap'n Crude]

Try this:

[Sean Connery] Suck it, Trebek. Suck it long, and suck it hard.[/Sean Connery]

Here's one you can try also, though it's a bit manipulative. If you're willing to claim that you're a bit quick on the trigger, and that you can make intercourse last a lot longer if she'll get you off first, it might get you an enthusiastic hummer. Of course, you have to offer to reciprocate once she's done.

Still, honesty is the best policy. Just ask, "Sweetie, would you like to go down on me? I love the way you use your mouth when we kiss." Feel free to submit the phrase of your choice for going down.

And I agree with Geobabe's disagreement. It can be quite an entertaining position, that good ol' 69. Then again, Geo's such a darling (and such a hottie) that she could make getting run over by a riding mower seem like an erotic adventure.

[Eva Luna]

Originally posted by SHAKES
Grab a scruff of her hair and guide her down there like a tame horse. She'll get the picture.

Or you could ask her if she would like a good face fucking.

No way in hell! Any guy who grabbed my hair/head/neck and tried to direct it in the vicinity of his crotch, without previous discussion, would NOT be getting lucky that night, and would probably not get lucky with me ever again. That’s what happens to those of us who have been coerced into such activities in the past; we have baggage and need to be treated gently, at least at first. Any kind of grabbing or pushing maneuver, IMHO, would be a big no-no, especially in the early stages of a relationship when you don’t know all of her likes and dislikes.

[Geobabe]

Originally posted by Cap'n Crude
Then again, Geo's such a darling (and such a hottie) that she could make getting run over by a riding mower seem like an erotic adventure.

I do believe that's the most interesting compliment I've received lately. I'm gonna have to write that one down.

And let me add a serious second to the caution against pushing a woman's face toward your crotch. I think (hope) that the suggestion was offered in jest, but let me assure all of you who might be tempted to try it that it's been tried and been thoroughly unsuccessful with me, at least. I haven't been traumatized sexually, but I find that maneuver to be tacky, offensive and likely to result in not getting any head ever. And I like giving head.

[lieu]

Generally speaking, if my date acted like a 3 day old sparrow straining from the nest toward the worm, I was more than willing to oblige.

[Khadaji]

Warning: Politically incorrect joke ahead...















Please Father, do it to me like you did for Tommy last week in the confessional.