Is this Esprix guy the defender of the gay universe?

[Phlip]

I swear to christ that you cannot go into any thread where the word "gay" appears and not find this dude. It doesnt even matter what the hell the thread is about. If the word "Gay" or "homosexual" appears in the thread, he is there like a fly on shit. Does he log on everyday and do a search for the words homosexual and gay and jump into each of those threads so he can be the authority on being gay or something? I understand that he is gay. Everyone on this board knows that. I knew that way back when I had like 10 posts. But god almighty it seems like his sole purpose in life is to fend off any negative vibes towards being gay or something.

I know this was not a very good pit rant because I am not even bitter towards the dude about it. I have more of a "Jesus man, we get your point. Gay is good. Cock is good. Hooray for gay. etc...". Let some of the newbs fight it out once in a while instead of dropping your 6000 post boot into the thread.

I know I am really gonna get assfucked over this one because I know he is adored on this board almost as much as guinistasia and I am more of a lurker who likes to talk about dumb shit and read other peoples smart shit. But I just wanted to say my piece here.

Vaseline please...

[jayjay]

<to the tune of "Underdog">

When bigots in this world appear
and make the faggots quake in fear
who do we want to come near?

Esprixman! Esprixman!
Esprixman! Esprixman!

Wit of lightning! Cites of thunder!
Defeating all who roar and blunder!
Esprixman! Ooooo-ooohhh!
Esprixman!

[Phlip]

lol!

Seriously though. I dont think he sounds like an asshole (most of the time) and he sounds very smart (most of the time). Its just in every thread about anything gay or cock related he is there. Its mystical...

I am probably in over my head here picking such a high profile doper to Pit out on, but it should be fun to watch the pile on huh? I was gonna make a thread titled "NASCAR is fun" and have my only word in the post be "gay" and see if he popped up to reply, but I know that testing shit is frowned upon here so I didnt.

[reprise]

I am now stuck with a mental picture of Esprix in spandex with a velvet cape, defending the universe with his supershowtune™ powers.

[Ooner]

Well, I'll jump in before the pile-on just to let you know that while I'm not really annoyed by it, I've noticed the same thing. You might want to do a search for the Esprix one-trick-pony threads. I believe there was a rant or two dedicated to this very topic.

[Phlip]

Damn... I didnt think anyone would agree with me.

You just dug your own SDMB grave Ooner. Ill see you in SDMB hell.

[Odesio]

Originally posted by reprise
I am now stuck with a mental picture of Esprix in spandex with a velvet cape, defending the universe with his supershowtune™ powers.

A velvet cape? Dude, that is so gay.

Marc

[Profane]

Why did you bother if, as you say, you "aren't bitter?"



Is this the sdmb equivalent of the third grade run-up-and-hit-the-boy-you-have-a-crush-on-maneuver?

[SPOOFE]

I would venture that, since Esprix posts a lot, you'll find him in a lot of threads. He probably keeps an eye out for those that are discussing homosexuality, as he has a vaunted interest in making sure that some 15-year-old homophobe-in-the-making doesn't show up and say something like "Those fags are all child rapists" or something.

Along the same vein, I post to a vast plethora of threads, but you'll almost always see me appear in a Star Wars thread, Gun Control thread, or TMI thread. But it's not like I need to search for those... they're appearing all the time.

[Phlip]

Annoyed. Irritated. Sick of it. Tired of the same old same old. But not bitter.

I can be annoyed and irritated by my daughter but not bitter at her.

I am not bitter AT him.

FWITW this was not a "run-up-and-hit-the-boy-you-have-a-crush-on-maneuver" as you so eloquently put it. I dont chug cock.

Esprix is gay. Didnt you hear?

[Crusoe]

Esprix is gay?

[Space Vampire]

Don't worry, you're certainly not the only person to bring this up, let alone notice it. I don't really have anything against the guy, but it does get a little old. Still, like SPOOFE says, people do stick to what they know. I can think of a thread type or two that you would tend to see me in.

[Phlip]

Yeah, he mentioned something about it in one or two threads. You gotta look hard, but you'll find em.

[SPOOFE]

Hmm... something just occurred to me. If Phlip is noticing Esprix in all the gay threads... then Phlip, too, must also be looking in all the gay threads.

Hmm...

Perhaps Phlip is Esprix's antithesis... the Antiqueer, if you will? His only goal... destroy his nemesis Esprix... and then, the UNIVERSE!!!! (Cue cheesy villain music)

[Phlip]

Good point but easily explainable.

I have seen threads go from one topic, basketweaving for example, and some how turn into a gay thread. A good catalyst for that change is when someone says "Basket weaving is gay". Then you can hear the SWOOSH as Esprix swoops into the thread to ask how basket weaving can be gay since baskets do not have cocks, nor can they suck cocks, or something similar. I think this happened to me one time actually. Ill have to look it up if I get bored. Then the thread moves forward in the usual hijacked thread sorta way.

For some reason any time I see a thread with something referring to homo's or queers I look to see who the last poster is and it is mystically Esprix. This can be compared to SPOOFE seeing a thread about Star Wars and going in to comment. This is normal, I guess I cant bitch about a gay guy going into threads titled "Gay Gay Gay, Hey Hey Hey," or anything like that.

Somehow he sniffs out threads that do not have subjects that even hint at having a homosexual theme and unleashes his lessons on the pitiful poster who said basketweaving is gay.

But we all know that basket weaving cant be gay because a basket does not have a cock, nor can it suck a cock.

Thank you and good night.

[reprise]

For some reason any time I see a thread with something referring to homo's or queers

You might have gotten away with using the word "queer" (singular) around here, but I just can't see your use of the term "homos" (with or without an apostrophe" flying...

[Phlip]

I dont know all the gay slang, sorry. Jk.

Anyway, I found the thread where he points out the lack of gayness in the OP. Its this one if you want to take the time to read it.

Esprix teaches Phlip a lesson.

This is just one time I remember him doing it. I am sure I could find others if I wanted to search for them.

[Phlip]

Originally posted by reprise


You might have gotten away with using the word "queer" (singular) around here, but I just can't see your use of the term "homos" (with or without an apostrophe" flying...

Is homo's better or worse than "faggots" as jayjay said in his masterpiece?

[reprise]

You used the word "gay" twice as a negative in relation to the OP; another poster put Esprix's name in their post so the thread would show in a vanity search in th hope that either Esprix or another gay poster would challenge your use of the word in that context.

Originally posted by Phlip

This is the gayest fucking rant I have ever read in my life.

If this is the best thing you can have to rant about you are living a charmed life. I wish I could bitch about gay shit like this.

I don't know of any dictionary which defines "gay" as "petty, trivial, pathetic" or any other such characteristic implied by your use of it on your post, so you can't even claim legitimate usage of the word. You chose to use it as a negative adjective in a context which is ONLY used by people who seek to imply that "gay" itself is somehow negative.

Would you have called a rant "black" or "Jewish"? Didn't think so.

If that's your best example of Esprix hijacking a thread to proclaim his sexuality, you might want to be more careful about the way in which use use the word "gay" in future.

[TwistofFate]

meh, he turns up in threads about homosexuality about as much as I do in threads about Ireland or DDG does in GQ with a google link. Its just something we know about and speak about.

Whats the problem?

[Phlip]

Originally posted by reprise
You used the word "gay" twice as a negative in relation to the OP; another poster put Esprix's name in their post so the thread would show in a vanity search in th hope that either Esprix or another gay poster would challenge your use of the word in that context.



I don't know of any dictionary which defines "gay" as "petty, trivial, pathetic" or any other such characteristic implied by your use of it on your post, so you can't even claim legitimate usage of the word. You chose to use it as a negative adjective in a context which is ONLY used by people who seek to imply that "gay" itself is somehow negative.

Would you have called a rant "black" or "Jewish"? Didn't think so.

If that's your best example of Esprix hijacking a thread to proclaim his sexuality, you might want to be more careful about the way in which use use the word "gay" in future.

Are you gay? Just curious because you sound like you are taking that pretty seriously. If somehow you molded what I said into some sort of gay bashing then you have a screw loose. ANYONE who read that knew exactly what I was saying. If you didnt then you are one dumb son of a bitch. The word gay has been around WAY longer than it has been used synonomously with homosexual.

What does a dictionary have to do with anything anyway? Just because every slang use of a word is not defined in a dictionary means that you can't use the word that way? So since dictionaries don't list "friend" as a possible definition of the word "dog" does that mean that I cant call my friend "my dog"? Does that mean that dog DOESNT mean friend? Everyone knows that when you call someone your dog you arent calling them a fucking canine.

And WTF is a vanity search? You mean to tell me that people actually search the boards to see if people are talking about them? And someone expected him to do this? Guess he really DOES search the board looking for shit to stir.

This is not about my view point on gays either so dont take it there. I couldn't care less about what people do with themselves. My fucking brother is gay and I went to his "gay wedding" as his best man, so don't try to fuck me around with that bullshit.

[Gyrate]

"We are gay, and happy that way,
'Cause gay means happy and happy means gay..."

I think Phlip needs a trip on Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boatride...

[Gyrate]

P.S. Wouldn't it be hilarious if Esprix didn't reply to this thread?

[SPOOFE]

Somehow he sniffs out threads that do not have subjects that even hint at having a homosexual theme and unleashes his lessons on the pitiful poster who said basketweaving is gay.

Ah, so you've discovered the true power of correctly-applied Gaydar... straight people who possess it only witness a fraction of its ability!

[Hemlock]

I've learnt a heck of a lot from the Ask the Gay Guy threads.

Esprix did once chew me up for telling a friend that the girl he fancied was actually a guy. He's a bit high up my self-righteousness scale for that, but not unusually so by SDMB standards.

What I want to know is - how do you pronounce it? I guess "espree". A Google search reveals the word to be shared equally among a German hotel chain, a Swiss award for business excellence and an extremely prolific poster to message boards.

[Fenris]

Originally posted by reprise
I don't know of any dictionary which defines "gay" as "petty, trivial, pathetic" or any other such characteristic implied by your use of it on your post, so you can't even claim legitimate usage of the word. You chose to use it as a negative adjective in a context which is ONLY used by people who seek to imply that "gay" itself is somehow negative.

A quibble: Dictionaries are descriptive of language as it evolves, and thus are always a few years behind the actual language. I've heard the meaning "gay" as trivial and/or pathetic, but I put it in the same category as the phrase "Jew you down": it's a legitmate grammatical useage. But only assholes use it that way.

Fenris

[reprise]

Does anyone else think that the OP might have eaten one too many purple oysters?

BTW, the only appropriate method of transport for Esprixman, would be the IPU (MHHNBS) jayjay.

[iampunha]

Originally posted by Phlip
Are you gay? Just curious because you sound like you are taking that pretty seriously.

Yes, because that's the only reason anyone would have to take perjorative use of a word seriously

ANYONE who read that knew exactly what I was saying.

The mindreading force is strong in this one...

If you didnt then you are one dumb son of a bitch. The word gay has been around WAY longer than it has been used synonomously with homosexual.

Doesn't matter. You're an asshole.

So since dictionaries don't list "friend" as a possible definition of the word "dog" does that mean that I cant call my friend "my dog"? Does that mean that dog DOESNT mean friend? Everyone knows that when you call someone your dog you arent calling them a fucking canine.

Certainly your friend would have no objection. But to use a word that, at least here, carries no negative connotation, in a negative way, not only is inappropriate but assholish.

There was a guy on here (still a member, FWIW) who was in a pit thread once flinging insults and being insulted back. His response to one such insult:

"That's the best you can do? You are SO gay."

That got him in a little tiff with a few people who were less than enthused by his use of the word.

You might want to rethink this opinion of yours that your view of how things work is ipso facto how they work. None of us is all-knowing on here.

And WTF is a vanity search? You mean to tell me that people actually search the boards to see if people are talking about them? And someone expected him to do this? Guess he really DOES search the board looking for shit to stir.

A vanitysearch is when someone does a search for their name in a thread. It's useful so you don't have to go through every thread that's been updated or started since you last checked the boards. Quite a few people do them because they're fairly useful.

And if you don't have a point to make, don't fucking post like you have the reparté stylings of the next incarnation of ... well, anyone with a brain.

You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. In what world could you be intelligent?^*

My fucking brother is gay and I went to his "gay wedding" as his best man, so don't try to fuck me around with that bullshit.

Ooh yay, the best friend argument. Does your brother know you use gay in a perjorative manner? Do you think he'd be thrilled about that?

And just as another example: another poster, in GD, once described something former president Clinton did as "very male". That got her a nice pit thread because the use was perjorative. An otherwise-sane (we think) poster who used a word normally descriptive in a mean way. Exactly what you did.

^*From a movie, mostly.

[Phlip]

Originally posted by iampunha


Yes, because that's the only reason anyone would have to take perjorative use of a word seriously

Wowie watch me nitpick a thread to death.

The mindreading force is strong in this one...

You see me single that line out? That was sweet. Watch me do the next one.

Doesn't matter. You're an asshole.

How'd you like that!! Take THAT iampuhna. Here, Ill do a whole section now.

Certainly your friend would have no objection. But to use a word that, at least here, carries no negative connotation, in a negative way, not only is inappropriate but assholish.

There was a guy on here (still a member, FWIW) who was in a pit thread once flinging insults and being insulted back. His response to one such insult:

"That's the best you can do? You are SO gay."

That got him in a little tiff with a few people who were less than enthused by his use of the word.

WHOA!! Thats a BIG quote. Lots of stuff to read in that one!!

You might want to rethink this opinion of yours that your view of how things work is ipso facto how they work. None of us is all-knowing on here.

Just wanted to piece that one out to keep things looking uniform.

A vanitysearch is when someone does a search for their name in a thread. It's useful so you don't have to go through every thread that's been updated or started since you last checked the boards. Quite a few people do them because they're fairly useful.

They are vain. That is why they are called vanity search.

And if you don't have a point to make, don't fucking post like you have the reparté stylings of the next incarnation of ... well, anyone with a brain.

I think I was pointing out how Esprix, who hasnt even been here yet, shows up in all things gay WAIT WAIT WAIT... I mean homosexual.

Ooh yay, the best friend argument. Does your brother know you use gay in a perjorative manner? Do you think he'd be thrilled about that?

Yes. He knows. But hes not an uptight super holy jackass like you.

And just as another example: another poster, in GD, once described something former president Clinton did as "very male". That got her a nice pit thread because the use was perjorative. An otherwise-sane (we think) poster who used a word normally descriptive in a mean way. Exactly what you did.

That sounds just as lame as this crap that you are trying to tie me down with right now.

[Mangetout]

Originally posted by Crusoe
Esprix is gay?

No, the universe is gay - didn't you read the thread title?

[iampunha]

Man, what a waste fo post 4K, Mangetout

<sub>Look at me! I can ignore the points made by another poster! Woohoo! Who do I remind you of?

A) FORMERAGENT
B) JohnJohn
C) Phlip</sub>

[matt_mcl]

Oh, please. I show up to every gay thread I can find, and every Canadian thread, and metro thread, and Esperanto thread, &c. And do I get a pit thread? No. I'm so insulted.

[Fenris]

Some people look at the OP and think "He's an asshole". I look at the OP and know "He's an asshole"

To Phlip
A) You spell your name wrong. You're missing an "I"
B) You're also missing a brain
C) You smell bad
D) You're ugly
E) You're hot for Esprix, aren't you? I mean, you think he's hot and you're upset that he has such high standards that he wouldn't be interested in a skank like you. That makes you...bitter.
F) No-one likes you. Even your dog doesn't like you, it tolerates you 'cause you feed it. But it resents having to be in your presence.
G) You've got a bad haircut.
H) You're tortured syntax is so bad that you have, singlehandedly, caused George Bernard Shaw to be know as "Whirligig Bernie" to his graveyard neighbors.
I) You're an annoying little-toad
J) You like typing "cock". I count at least a half-dozen appearances of the word in your several extrusions. You secretly long for cock. It's all right. You can tell us.
K) Hmm..."J" made me wonder if your resentment of Esprix isn't because he's a better writer than you and someone who showers better personal hygine than you, but rather because he's out of the closet and FREE, while you're still hiding your true feelings!
M) PUNHA, MY PAL! Hi Opal! / Fuck Zette! (depending)
N) So, is your name supposed to be pronounced "Flip" as in "I flip you off, you asshole" or is it a misspelling of "Philip"?
O) The comma is your friend. Treasure it and learn of it's myriad uses.
P) I'm sorry. Your current submissions do not currently meet this Boards needs. Should we need the imbicilic droolings of a trollish lout, we'll know where to find you.
Q) is for "Queer" and "Queen" and other words that despite Phlip's mythical "best frien...< cough > ...brother" make Phlip have uncomfortable feelings.
R) If pine needles were brains, you'd still be too dumb to understand this analogy.
S) is for Shit, which Phlip also seems to like a lot. Coprophiliac Closet Queer! Band name!
T) Your opinions are less welcome than a used diaper at the dinner table. And speaking of used diapers and your opinions...
U) is for the many useless opinions you hold!
V) is for Victory! "We will fight the morons on the beaches, we will fight them in the Pit, we will fight them in GD"
W) So, is this the beginning of a melt-down?
X) An interchange: Phlp: "Fenris, if you were my husband, I'd poison you" / Fenris: "Phlip, if you were my wife, I'd drink it!
Y) (and as long as I'm swiping insults): Philp: "Fenris, within the year, you will be dead of the gallows or the pox" / Fenris: "Plilp, that depends on whether I embrace your principles or your penis. And as small as it must be, I'd need a jewler's loupe and tweezers"
Z) You are less charming than a diseased yak turd.

Fenris
Yes, there is No L. It's not Christmastime, after all! < rimshot > (not rimjob, which is a whole other thing)

[minty green]

You need a cape, matt.

[Bad News Baboon]

all this is so stupid.
who cares already?

what does matter is this:

Originally posted by Hemlock

What I want to know is - how do you pronounce it? I guess "espree". A Google search reveals the word to be shared equally among a German hotel chain, a Swiss award for business excellence and an extremely prolific poster to message boards.

yeah dammit!

despit all the French classes I have taken, I have this compulsion to say it:

es-prix.
to rhyme (kinda) with Twix.

damn you French People and your x's!

[Phlip]

And the Straightdope Clique begins its decent on its target...

BTW, I am guessing that jayjay must be gay because that could be the only reason that no one has gotten away with using "faggots" in place of homosexual right? Oh wait, hes one of the clique too, I see.

Carry on.

[minty green]

Am I in the Clique^TM now? Yay! Who's got pretzels?

[Fenris]

Originally posted by Phlip
And the Straightdope Clique begins its decent on its target...

Ok.
It's used the "Some of my best friends are...." excuse.
It's used the "It's not that I said something stupid and offensive, it's that there's a clique!" excuse

I'm taking bets for it's next rejoinder.

Will it be:

A) The Appeal to Invisible Authority? ("I have hundreds of secret e-mails of people who agree with me! No. You can't see 'em.")
5:1 odds

B) The All Mods are Nazis excuse?
6:1 odds

C) The Sociological experiment excuse? ("U all were part of my vast experiment in sociology. Thanks for participating--foolz!")
4:1 odds

D) The I Wuz Just Joking excuse? ("You people have no sense of humor. You can't tell a joke when you hear one!")
2:1 odds

or

E) Meltdown followed by Suicide via Mod
1:1 odds, given that it's all ready in progress.

If anyone has other theories, I'll be glad to give odds on them.

Nicely-Nicely Fenris

[Fenris]

Originally posted by minty green
Am I in the Clique^TM now? Yay! Who's got pretzels?

< haughtily >
You are only an initiate. Until you go through the dreaded Ceremony of the Sperm Trees and learn the Third Word that Ends in GRY, no pretzels for YOU. As an initiate, you are only allowed slightly stale Cheez-Doodles! Pretzels are reserved for the elite in the Clique. (Or so I hear.... )
< /haughtily >

[scott evil]

Originally posted by matt_mcl
And do I get a pit thread? No. I'm so insulted.

I'd be more than happy to start one, dear.

- s.e.

[The Ace of Swords]

I love it when they use gay as an insult.

Phil lip, I didn't know you cared. I'll teach you all about gay life, and how to become a slut in 12 easy steps, if only you weren't such an ass, honey!

Big Wet Smacks,



Spree

[RickJay]

The following phrases, all mentioned in this thread, would make excellent names for rock bands:

Gay Or Cock Related

Vaseline Please

Suicide Via Moderator

Appeal To Invisible Authority

Hot For Esprix

The Pine Needles

The Super Holy Jackasses

Supershowtune

The Velvet Capes

[Phlip]

Originally posted by Phlip

BTW, I am guessing that jayjay must be gay because that could be the only reason that no one has gotten away with using "faggots" in place of homosexual right? Oh wait, hes one of the clique too, I see.

Carry on.

Hey Fenris, why don't you stop acting like an ass and answer my question?

Because you can't. There is no answer fucknuts. He called homosexuals FAGGOTS. Holy shit!! Get the fucking PC crew in here to tear him a new asshole!

Oh, nevermind. He's gay. It's ok then.

What an awsome double standard. How gay.

[Gyrate]

Originally posted by Phlip
BTW, I am guessing that jayjay must be gay because that could be the only reason that no one has gotten away with using "faggots" in place of homosexual right? Oh wait, hes one of the clique too, I see.

Good point.

jayjay: on behalf of the Federal Association of Bundles of Sticks (FABS) and our UK branch the Chopped Liver Alliance Party (CLAP), I demand a formal apology.

[iampunha]

Phlip, if you want to live to see post 500, you might want to knock this shit off.

No, really.






No, really.























No, really.

[Larry Mudd]

You've got a little something on your boot, there.

[gobear]

Matt, I got a Pit thread, neener neener neener!

But god almighty it seems like his sole purpose in life is to fend off any negative vibes towards being gay or something.

And it sounds like an excellent purpose, if you ask me. I enjoy Esprix's coverage of gay issues, and I know that his witty and informative posts have enlightened many hetero posters on homosexuality-related issues. Curing ignorance is this board's raison d'etre, after all.

Now Phlip, are you going to pit Collounsbury for posting primarily in Middle East politics threads? Are you going to tackle Matt for posting in Quebec threads? Why are you so eager to pursue Esprix for the thrust of his penetrating wit?

Because you can't. There is no answer fucknuts. He called homosexuals FAGGOTS. Holy shit!! Get the fucking PC crew in here to tear him a new asshole!

Oh, nevermind. He's gay. It's ok then.

See, Phlip dear, JayJay was using the word "faggot" in a sardonic manner to convey a sarcastic shade of meaning to the word; in other words he was employing verbal irony.

But to you, I fear, "irony" is just something you do to clothes.

[scott evil]

Umm... I jump into "gay" threads too. Actually, more often than not, I'll post something that happens to do with the fact that I'm gay, and it turns into some grim safe-sex warning, which in turn spawns a Pit thread, and so on, and so on.

However, you'll also find me answering questions about digital video (my field of work), music theory (degree in music), and whatever else I know about. And I also start many threads, including the weekly Mole II threads.

- s.e.

[Why A Duck]

jayjay is gay? Well knock me over with a feather.

But wait, this is perfect. Esprix needs a bear-wonder, a sidekick to help him with his cape.

Now we need a faithful butler. Someone to maintain the Sprix-mobile, wax the Sprix-pole, and answer the Sprix-phone when he's out fighting ignorance.

(Why do I keep hearing the Donkey Kong theme?)

[Phlip]

Originally posted by jr8
Good point.

jayjay: on behalf of the Federal Association of Bundles of Sticks (FABS) and our UK branch the Chopped Liver Alliance Party (CLAP), I demand a formal apology.

Thats good. You guys don't want to hang one of the clique by admitting that either a) he is a bigot just like me or b) your overreacting and acting like asses so you will swallow up any response by me in an abyss of sarcasm and ignoring the question.

Trust me guys. Unlike some of you my life does not revolve around the SDMB. Its about as important to me as IGN is. Its entertainment. I have gotten lots of great info from seemingly nice people on here, but I could live without it. You aren't hurting my feelings.

I know that I am not as smart as most of the swarm that are attacking me, so I don't try to swap wits with them. I said in my OP that I would be assfucked in this thread and that is what is happening.

gobear, I knew someone would try to come up with some pathetic rational about why jayjay calls gays faggots and gets away with it. Hopefully someone wil swoop into this thread and lay down some cover fire for me because, if I am not mistaken, its one straight guy versus the whole gay clan of the SDMB. I cant win.