Hijack this thread!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m new and my apologies if this has been played before and wasn’t any fun.

I’ll start by making a post (advance warning probably pretty silly). The next poster should find a way to hijack the thread and take it in an entirely different direction…and so on…

Example:

I have a lot of things to do and very little time to get them done. I haven’t gone shopping for the holiday - or baked a cookie - or planned the holiday meal. I’m not sure what to buy most of the people on my gift list.

Next poster -

Here’s an example of someone so politically correct that she’s unable to name the holiday that she will be celebrating. Are you afraid to offend someone? I celebrate Christmas - not Xmas - and none of the other so called holidays.

Next poster -

For Xmas I really want the new Xbox. Both of my parents post here so hopefully they’ll see this post and make my dreams come true. If I don’t get it there may be problems in the New Year. Yes, I’m a brat, but I’m the only child.

Does anyone see the point? Anyone want to play?

I’ve decided to re-start my Atkins. I lost pounds and inches easily in the spring so I know it works for me. I saw my doctor on Monday, and I have gained 10 pounds since Thanksgiving. Our office has received gifts from almost everyone we do business with, and the gifts are generally chocolate and cookie filled baskets. We’ve had many meetings scheduled lately requiring catering, and the staff gets the extras. I’m unable to turn down free food unless I put myself on the strictest of diets, so Atkins here I am. Sigh.

2

I met Doug Atkins once. Used to play for the Bears, back in the 60’s. For about 20 minutes.

Actually, it was in the 60’s and it was for more than 20 minutes, but I couldn’t resist the last part.

3

I won’t take this thread to Luton for a pound.

4

Many people fail to realize that pepper is just a spice. Some think of it as a stimluant for sexual gratification.

5

Some people - no doubt after too much pepper - can’t spell “stimulant”. :rolleyes:

6

Remember the Dutchess in Alice in Wonderland? And all the pepper flying around? And the baby who turned into a pig? I always thought that was weird.

7

A woman goes to the doctor and says “Doctor, I’ve got this really embarrassing problem. Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm.” “Oh,” says the doctor, “and are you taking anything for it?” “Yes,” says the woman, …

heck, you can guess the punchline. :smiley:

8

At the end of the movie, “Punchline” did you expect Sally Field’s character to go off with Tom Hank’s character?

9

I had a Hank Williams dream last night. I was riving a Cadillac, he was sleeping in the backseat and woke up screaming at me to be careful. I got mad at him, and jumped out and let the car go off by itself. Analyze please?

10

Everybod says Cadillacs are sweet cars but I really don’t like them. Kind of like Mercedes and Bentleys…they’re ugly to me. Gimme a BMW any day.

11

Cadillac Williams is gonna kick Ronnie Brown’s ass!

12

I’ve always though that that naming a professional football team after a color was really lame.*

*yes, I know that they were really named after the coach Paul Brown. That was pretty lame too.

13

{My enlargement}

I went to school with a Paul Brown. Nice kid, he liked to game and drink beer. I wonder how he would be doing these days. Back then we use to drink Rolling Rock or Genesee Ale. Drinkable and cheap. What did you guys drink as a teen?

14

The first crush I ever had was for the female character Champagne in the old Kerry Drake comic strip. I was maybe four at the time, but that gal was smoking!

15

Hey, what are you guys drinking for Christmas? Any eggnog fans around here?

16

I never drink spiked eggnog. The first time I had it, the alcohol made me feel sick. I love eggnog and don’t want to feel sick when I’m drinking it. It was kind of like Alex with the music of Beethoven in A Clockwork Orange.

17

You know, everybody says Beethoven is all that, and he’s good and all, but no one really matches Mozart. Ah, the Requiem! shivers

18

Speaking of shivers, it’s COLD in the office today. But they’re letting us out early so I can go home and roast in my radiated, unhumidified apartment while playing ‘King Kong’ (got it last night as an early Xmas gift).

19

speaking of radiated, unhumidified air, my house is so dry, I wake up with a scratchy throat all winter long. and clogged sinuses. and the assortment of noises I make in the morning to clear both throat and sinuses is really starting to bug my cat.

20

Which came first:

King Kong
Ping Pong
Ding Dong
Sing Song
Sing Sing
Ling Ling

or the Ming Dynasty?