A 60+ year old man just asked me out!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

To put this in its proper light, you should know I’m 30.

Anyway, this guy’s been sort of being extra nice for about six months…smiling, and waving, opening doors, etc. Someone closer to my age I would have automatically assumed he liked me, but since he was so much older I figured he was just being a gentleman, or maybe I reminded him of someone he knew.

My desk faces the front door to our office, which looks out at the elevator. Today he saw me, waved as he always did, and I returned the wave. Then he comes up to the door and opens it. I went up closer to the door, and he said “I’ve been waiting for you to take me out to try some Indian food.” Me: :eek: :eek: :eek: You are old enough to be my father. Dude, if you had a kid at 15 and she had a kid at 15 you could be my grandfather.
I didn’t say this, though, instead, I just politely recommended a couple of good restaurants in the area, instead of overtly saying “NO!!!” since it wasn’t in the format of “Will you go out with me?”. Then he tried to give me his phone number, and I demurred, saying, “I see you all the time, don’t worry.” I have to admit, I left it open-ended, but I was raised to be nice to old people! If he asks again I will say “I’m sorry, but I think the age difference is just a little too much.”

Seriously, WTF? I am 30, but I have a baby face and have often been mistaken for even younger. The age difference is just a bit too much!!!

It’s not bad to be appreciated and I’m going to take it as a compliment, but I also wonder what is it about me that’s attracting a man of such…advanced maturity.

And I agree that all these exclamation points are a sign of insanity.

2

Well, you could discourage him by making sure he gets a whiff of the bathroom just after you walk out of it. Oh, like you didn’t see that one coming! :stuck_out_tongue:

Or, go to lunch at an Indian restaurant with other co-workers one day and invite him to come along.

3

My guess is that it’s because you’re hot.

I’ve often considered starting a GD thread about the ethics of Spring/Autumn relationships.

4

My Pop, who’s 65 this year, regulary dates women in their thirties and frequently fights off mini-crushes on young women in their twenties. He’s a towering intellect and charmer and an unapologetic dirty old man, but with style. Redd Foxx with a social conscience, a low-rent gray-haired Sidney Pointier.

One of Pops buisness acquaintances called him a “player.” Mildly offended, my father quipped, “I’m a coach.”

You should be flattered by the attention.

That said, with six months of passing back and forth between you two with waves and open doors, it seems a bit odd, not to mention late, to ask for a date out of the blue. But I like his style in asking! “I’m waiting for YOU to take ME…” Heh. I also liked he offered his phone number to YOU.

Are you sure it was a romantic date? Maybe he justs wants a lunch/dinner companion. It’s the prerogative of women everywhere to accept a no-strings meal with a kind, polite man who treats you with respect. Quit being an insensitive ageist! There’s no age difference in having a meal with someone.

5

I have two words for you: gray pubes.

6

Oh, god. I got all the way through **Askia’s ** post, thinking, “Well, maybe he’s right. Maybe I’m overthinking this. Maybe he’s just being nice.” And then I read this:

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

7

There’s a guy like that at work. He’s also pudgy, balding, walks with a severe limp, and dresses like a slob. The young chicks love him.

8

This one is also a bit rotund, hair is kind of gray-white. And he’s black. I only say that because I’ve never been asked out by a black man before. I don’t think any black man has ever even expressed an *interest * in me before.

He does dress very elegantly. I suppose that’s something!

9

I swear to all that is swearable to, just this morning, someone described me to my face using almost these very words. The one telling me this is the co-worker of a 25 year old that I meet with a couple times a week. I asked if I was reading something correctly, or did “P” just treat me differently than she does other people. Her response was to smack me in the head and tell me I must be blind to not see how much “P” wanted me. And that “P” isn’t the only one, that a couple other 20-somethings in the place talk about me that way too.

I’m 46, and happily married but more attracted to women younger than myself than most women my age. It’s not all physical, younger women seem to carry less of the world on their shoulders than older (ok, older as in my own age) ones do.

Keep in mind, this is all perception based on not knowing someone well - but generally younger women are more desireable to men after a certain age than the ones closer to their age. I think they (we?) think that because we know women our own age, and women your age and see a difference in how they look at life. Of course, here I am ignoring the physical differences, because that would be crass and shallow.

So let’s go crass and shallow. Younger women are hotter. Not wrinkly, not saggy and so on. When I was 20-21, I dated 25-30 year olds. I still would. Back then a 30 year old represented someone different from my own age group. Then it was experience and maturity, now it would be youth and freshness. We want what we don’t see in ourselves.

Now, ok, I love my wife (because who else would put up with me when it comes right down to it?), but because she’s who she is, I don’t even see her objectively. To me, she’s as beautiful as the day I met her when she was 23. BTW, she’s the one not in the red jacket in that picture.

BUT. If there were no Bus Wife, and I was seeking company, I’d almost certainly be open to dating someone 15-20 (hell even more if she’d have me) years younger.

Dirty old man? Sign me up!

10

AHHHHH Mika! It’s always so… weird when that happens. Erg. Just not my kind of thing, you know?

It happened to me a couple years ago, when I was 25 years old (ahhh, my thinner days! How I miss them!). I was out and about with my friend, who had just lent me some of her shampoo to try out. I clearly remember that being such a good hair day, and I was so pleased. It was long, thick, shiny, smooth… I was a walking Pantene commercial. I met one of my male co-workers at the drugstore that day, who had come up behind me, laughing, saying, “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful!” Awww, yeah, it was such a good day…

And then, as I was standing at a shelf of stuffed animals, admiring some of the plush baby toys that I was thinking about picking up as a gift for a friend’s new baby… I felt a hand running through my hair. I turned around, smiling, thinking it was my co-worker again, about to make some joking comment about him keeping his hands to himself, when I saw an old, old man standing there, as the last tendril of my hair slipped through his fingers. And this guy was so old… He said, “You have such beautiful hair.”

I was a little embarrassed, but murmured “thank you,” and kind of stood there, facing him - I, too, was taught to respect and be polite to your elders, and he was about as elder a man as I’d ever seen! He asked me if I would just walk with him for a few moments, and being the polite girl that I am, figured there couldn’t be any harm in that. Maybe I reminded him of somebody, his granddaughter, someone he knew when he was younger, what’s the harm of being nice to a man who might just want to reminisce?

Then he invited me to go back to his house. Why? “I haven’t made love to a beautiful woman for so many years.” :eek:
I politely declined. Then what does he say? “Oh, come on! I’ve been fucking my wife for so long, and she’s old and ugly! You look just like she did when she was young and beautiful!”

I stopped being polite. shudder

11

Oh, god! wipes tears of laughter from eyes That is too good! You *do * think just like me!

12

Ok, that’s creepy. Not suave and de-boner like me! :stuck_out_tongue:

13

Don’t knock dirty old men until you try one. I say, go for it, Anaamika!

14

Wait a minute, aren’t you in a committed relationship? That’s your “out.” Don’t use it until he actually does make it clear that his interest in you is more than just friendly, but don’t be afraid to use it.

15

For the benefit of both of you, I’m 44. Some people consider that old. And I haven’t washed in weeks.

16

I’m 35, so you’re just not quite old enough for me, tdn, but throw in the hula hoop and it’s a deal. :wink:

17

Whoa, waitaminnit, weird. Back up to Mr Bus Guy’s post. Mr Bus Guy, is that you in the red jacket, then? Because you look exactly like I’ve been picturing you for what? More than a year now, I guess. I’m slightly creeped out.

18

No. I mean, I could, but I don’t see why I shouldn’t be perfectly honest. 10-15 years older than me I could deal with. (Not unwashed, though, sorry, tdn). 30 years? Too damn much!

19

Un-creep yourself. That’s not me.

She wouldn’t be smiling if that was me.

20

I didn’t really think it was dishonest. I think of it as a way to let him know you’re not interested that allows him to save face.