I just drank most of a bottle of wine (didn’t want it to go bad, see), and I’m about to head to my now-gay-ex-boyfriend’s birthday party (I was his first kiss… awww), which is exactly one week from my wedding day to a non-gay-current boyfriend who is buying “back up beer” in case the sangria runs out at said party.
I’m also wearing mascara for the first time and my eyes feel all sticky-like.
However, my lipgloss tastes like cherries, but I just burned my mouth (both hard palate and edges of my tongue) on some pre-party yummy-with-wine frosted-cherry pop-tarts. The alcohol helps with the burny sensation… but I dread tomorrow and the blistering I’m sure will follow.
I have always wanted to sue the makers of pop tarts for when the pop tart is done in the toaster and pops up, it isn’t a prostitute.
Not that I need a hooker, its just the entire concept of it all.