Possibly my favorite Simpsons character. Some of the most quotable lines come from him, IMO. Here are a couple of my favorites
From Homer the Smithers
“Hear that? The percolations are imminent. No need to come in. Uh… cease your ingress!”
“No! I thought, uh, I thought I’d chauffeur myself this evening. Yes, that’s what I thought. How difficult could it be? I’m sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix, hmm?”
From C.E.D’oh
“Seems the caterpillar has emerged from its cocoon as a shark, a shark with a gun for a mouth. Touche.”
From Deep Space Homer
“Compadres, it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters before the start of the rainy season. And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya.”
From Two Cars In Every Garage, Three Eyes On Every Fish:
“This slackjawed family of Troglodytes costs me the election, yet if I were to have them killed, I"D be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you Smithers!”
From A STAR IS BURNS (when Burns wants his own Schindler’s List style movie bio)
Señor Spielberg: "Schindler es muy bueno. Burns es el Diablo.
Burns: “Me and Schindler are like peas in a pod! We’re both factory owners; we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked dammit!”
I don’t remember the episode, but the episode where he discovers the joys of iced cream.
“Young man! I need to send this missive to the Prussian consulate in Siam - post haste! Am I too late for the afternoon auto-gyro?”
From The Old Man and The Lisa
“Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she’s losing. Well I say, hard cheese.”
I love the one where we see a flashback from Burn’s childhood where he’s at a carnival and repeatedly ramming a bumper car into an irish guy who worked there. After remaniscing about this, Burns breaks out laughing…and laughing…and days go by, where it shows Burns doing his daily routine, but still laughing. Finally he stops and says “Wait, what was I laughing about? …ah yes! That crippled irishman!” and resumes laughing.
Burns: [recoils in mock horror] Oooh, the Germans are mad at me. I’m so scared! Oooh, the Germans! [hiding behind Smithers] Uh oh, the Germans are going to get me!
“Social security number? Naught, naught, naught, naught, naught, naught, naught, naught, two. Damned Roosevelt.”
Oh! I just remembered my favorite ever. When Mr. Burns is leading the calisthenics for the plant workers and says “Push out the jive, bring in the love”.
