I’m an alcoholic and have been struggling for two years with a progressively worse problem. Last night my fiance confronted me for the upteenth time and I broke down and admitted everything and asked him to help me. I can’t do this on my own anymore.
He’s trying to get me into inpatient treatment, or, if not, intensive outpatient treatment.
I feel good, like a weight has been lifted off of me. I’m still so scared he’ll leave me, but he’s promised he wouldn’t. He said he obviously loves me too much to leave because he’s dealt with this for a couple of years and he’s stood by me through it all.
Sorry, just had to get it off my chest. Any recovering alcoholics care to share your story?
If you can afford to at all, and honestly I don’t think you can afford NOT to, go in-patient. Even if they just get you on the road to a really good out-patient program, that’s a step I’ve seen work for so many people.
Good luck, and good on you for finally seeing the bottom and having the sense to reach out.
Also, very good on the fiance for doing what he’s doing.
Admitting you need help to get better and asking someone for that help is one of the toughest parts. Not to say the rest will be a cakewalk, but it sounds like you’ve got yourself a good man to help you along the way.
Corny as it sounds, the old “one day at a time” thing works. Do not drink today. If you feel you cannot not drink today, do not drink this hour. If you feel you cannot not drink this hour, do not drink for the next five minutes.
Of course all I can think about right now is my duties at work and how I should get all this ‘stuff’ finished before I commit to this, but I know that’s not how this works.
I’ve looked through our company policy and I think I can get short term disability and support from HR. Funny enough, they’re introducing our new Drug and Alcohol Policy this afternoon, so I’m hoping it addresses stuff like this in more detail then our non-existent policy currently does.
Asking for help WAS hard. The next hard part will be the embarrassment factor at work/with my boss/HR.
I put a cork in the bottle about 3 weeks ago and am going to A.A. meetings currently. I know this is hard as hell but be proud of the fact that you recognized you have a problem and you took a huge step to ask for help. You have no idea how huge that is that you reached out. The whole process of leading a sober life is difficult and scary but you’ll be seeing your new life with sober eyes and that’s a level of clarity about yourself and your life that brings with it an almost euphoria when you realize what you can accomplish when you turn your back on the bottle.
I think it’s great that your partner is going to be there with you. He may benefit from counseling and/or Al-Anon to help him deal with living with an alchoholic in recovery and to help him understand in what ways he may have enabled you. It would be a good thing for both of you.
You mentioned feeling embarrassed about telling people you are getting help. I’m not going to tell you how you should feel but I can tell you how I felt. I realized I was more of an embarrassement to myself and my loved ones as a sloppy drunk than I could ever be as someone who realized they had an addiction and is willing to do something about it.
Good luck to you and please remember what **Annie X-mas ** said about not drinking today, this hour, these 5 minutes. Just keep putting that drink off, call someone, do anything you can find to do to keep away from the bottle.
Hey there The Chao Goes Mu glad to hear you stuck around. Keep com’in
To **EmAnJ ** - you have successfully taken the first step. Now comes the hard part - let all those emotions and feelings you have been successfully drinking away come in - trust me they will - when the flood gates open, they don’t shut, but your body will adjust.
Like others have said if you cannot go one day at a time, go one hour, if not one hour go every 5 minutes. Please seek out a meeting in your area. AA if nothing else is a group of drunks who help keep each other sober. And who better to understand and know exactly what you are going through than a fellow alcoholic? Please find a meeting near you!
Actually, if you location is accurate and you are in Calgary - here is a list of meetings in Calgary. Closed meetings mean only people who have a desire to stop drinking can attend. Open meetings mean anyone can attend. Go to any one you like, you will be automatically the most important person in the room. All new people are. Have strength, and as Chao said, PM me if you’d like. Anytime.
I’m not an alcoholic, recovering or otherwise, but my father was. I was 14 when he got sober for the final time (in AA), and I was 43 when he died. When he died, he died sober.
You have to find what works for you, but for him, AA was the right way. He developed a huge network of friends, people he could rely on for rides to and from meetings (he didn’t drive), people he could call any hour of the day or night.
I second the Al-Anon suggestion for your fiance. Sometimes, it’s hard to know what to do to support your loved one. Al-Anon can help with that. It can also help to know that you’re not alone in your struggles and difficulties. Not to mention that at least most of the 12 steps are just plain good advice for anyone.
Best of luck to you, and please do keep us updated on how you’re doing!
Yes, this is exactly it. There is something there, I’m not sure really what it is yet, but I’ve been struggling with underlying anxiety and depression for years and years.
I am planning on going to AA and actually reached out to them last week. I am talking via email to one of the support people who is encouraging me to go to the meetings as well. I am in Calgary and will be finding a meeting near me ASAP.
Luckily, I’ve been in therapy for this and that for about four years with a fantastic psychologist and she’ll help us both through this. Unfortunately she’s out of town right now, but the fiance called her last night and left a message, so she should be getting back to us by phone soon anyhow.
I still feel strong right now, just so exhausted emotionally.
I will keep you guys updated. I can’t tell you how much this support means to me right now.
Do you have to tell your boss and co-workers? It’s really none of their business. You can tell them you are out on health-related issues. That’s all they really need to know.
I hit my rock bottom in 1995. I was so sick. And I knew I needed help. I called the local police and said, “I’m drunk, I don’t want to drink any more. Can you send someone to help me get help?” They came to the house, and got an ambulance for me. I spent the first 2 days in the hospital on IV in a ‘regular’ section of the hospital. When I finally had enough fluids and strength in me to be moved, I went to the ‘detox ward’. There I spent 7 days drying out, going to meetings, learning how to stay sober, and just staying away from my poison. I was terrified of leaving that sanctuary. But I did it. April 9th was 13 years for me. I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since that day. I went to AA, did whatever they told me, and came out of that black life that had me. If they’d told me to stay sober I had to stand on my head for 4 hours in a corner, I’d have been there with my feet in the air. Do what you have to do to get off the stuff. There’s a better life out there for you!
I suppose I could do that! HR will have to know what’s going on because I’d try to get the recovery paid for through our Employee Assistance Program and I’d also have to take Leave, but I suppose my boss doesn’t need to know exactly what’s going on.
I did tell a close coworker/close friend this morning though. In fact, I am supposed to be travelling with her and two other close friends to Las Vegas on May 2. It’s all paid for. I don’t know if I should go, but I feel like now that I’ve told her I’m accountable to someone, so I have to be good.
I don’t know if I’m ready for that though. I’m sure I’m not, tbh.
There’s all kinds of recovering drunks hereabouts, and I’m one of them. Nothing to add to the advice you’ve been given – congrats on recognizing that you need to do something, and congrats on picking something to do that might actually help. Go to AA, keep your ears and your mind open, and don’t pick up a drink.
It gets easier – and it gets unimaginably so much better. Hang in there.
I don’t know about EAP’s in Canada, but here in the states you can take a leave od Abscence, accept help from your companies EAP and your boss does not need to know the reason. Depression, can be used as well - but broadcasting how happy you are to be sober and saying you are happy to be an alcoholic because now you can see life in a different light may be wonderful to you, but it doesn’t mean your coworkers or your boss should necessarily know all that…I’ve seen it backfire severely before, just be yourself and don’t drink and go to meetings.
That equation has been burned into a lot of us in the rooms. Don’t Drink and Go to Meetings. Simple - so we can remember it.
