The thread title is taken from a post by Rigmarole in this thread. I would like to discuss the truth or falsity of that proposition, or rather get other poster’s input.
I am not a woman, but it seems false to me. The plural of anecdote is not data, of course, but I’ve known more than a few women who are not happy to get as little nookie they are getting, and who, moreover, couldn’t seem to get more.
I’d say it’s 100% correct, as a card carrying female. I always joke that I could- at any time- walk outside and say I want to get laid and have at least one immediate offer. It has nothing to do with my looks or sex appeal, it’s just that there are always people willing to fuck. In fact, I am sure a guy could probably do something similar.
Here’s the catch: no one is saying those lays are going to be quality. Or disease free. Or with non gross people.
The fact is, though, that anybody can get laid any time if their standards are low enough.
This.
I would add “A good-looking woman who wants a man in bed doesn’t have to ask.”
This seems about right. There’s a difference between finding a person willing to have sex with you and finding someone you want to have sex with who also wants to have sex with you. The former merely requires that you have very, very minimal standards. The latter is where it gets tricky.
I suppose it depends on the female and the man in question.
In my extremely fortunate experience, this has pretty much been the case. Since I have been with my husband I have never ever been turned down for sex. Barring rare occasions of business travel, it has never been more than 24 hours between wanting sex and getting sex since the age of 19 (when we started dating). Damn, that sounds pretty wonderful now that I write it down.
Actually I have never been turned down for sex ever. There were 4 boyfriends before Mr. carlotta and they were all just as accommodating.
I assume this is because I was always asking people likely to be interested. I’m not all that. I doubt I could get any man into bed with me. Like probably not Clive Owen, sigh.
Bingo. Men can, too, as long as they’re not picky and have a little time. Or money, I suppose.
Add actual standards and guys hot enough to be choosy themselves, or male SOs with low sex drives or obsessive gaming habits, and you’ve got a whole other story.
A woman is not going to have 100% success with this as not every man will accept this offer. Even if she is a 10, there are going to be men who are uncomfortable with the situation and won’t accept. So I don’t think you can say that if a woman wants a particular man, all she has to do is ask. But if she just wants any 'ol man, she’ll get success soon enough.
And I would think the success is greatly dependent on how far down on the scale she is willing to go. For example:
A woman asking a man 5 levels higher in attraction: 5% chance of success
… 3 levels higher: 10%
same level: 15%
3 levels lower: 30%
5 levels lower: 60 %
It may also work for men, but I think they would have a much harder time of it and it probably would only work for the very good looking guys. For example:
A man asking a woman 5 levels higher in attraction: 1/10% chance of success
… 3 levels higher: 1/2%
same level: 1%
3 levels lower: 3%
5 levels lower: 5%
So if all you care about is someone to have sex with you, if you ask long enough you’ll be successful. But women will have to ask many, many fewer people than men will.
I just turned 41. Long past what I once imagined was my “best before” date. I had a young roofer the other day proposition me. It blows my mind. Seem since I hit 40, my appeal-to age is between 18-25. I so don’t get it.
However, I did just trade the minivan for a 4x4 Jeep Cherokee. Red, of course.
My years as a poker dealer told me this old adage is true. On a table with 10 guys, if you offer, someone will take you up on it.
I find Rigmarole’s posts in that thread confusing. It’s unclear if he means “a man” or “a specific man” because given the context of his earlier posts - if it’s hard to believe that women pine for male friends - it seems to imply the latter, and that’s not universally true.
You are not the only one who found that confusing. I too took his meaning as you did, and that’s want I meant with the thread topic.
I don’t think even ATTRACTIVE women can have guaranteed success with every man they choose. There’s some guy out there whom Monica Bellucci could walk up to, naked, and offer to pleasure, only to be told, “Sorry. I know you’re Earth’s hottest hottie, but you just don’t do it for me.”
I don’t think the comment should be taken literally. But there is something to be said about it… if you’re a woman, you’re most likely to get accomodated if asked vs. when men ask in most situations.
I don’t think there is any doubt about this.
Yes. We call those men “homosexuals”.
Of just men who don’t think Monica Bellucci is all that hot. There have to be some.
People often speak admiringly of… well, I don’t know her name. The brunet white woman who is used to be on Party of 5 and more recently starred on a show about ghosts. Anyway, despite the praise that is heaped upon her, I simply don’t find her attractive (as might be noted by the fact that i don’t know what her name is). I once got into a ridiculous, subtext-laden argument with my brother over whether the fact that I think that Natalie Portman is infiitely more comely than this girl whose name I have never bothered to learn stems from my general contrariness and unwillingness to be conventional.
I guarantee you there are straight men out there who don’t smile when when they see Monica Bellucci. They perhaps prefer Asian women, or black women, or Rubenesque women.
Basically, that’s what I was driving at. StR wanted to make it seem like women are equally likely to desire their male friends sexually and get rejected as the other way around, and although I admitted that could happen, the idea that it’s common and occurs as equally as the reverse is hogwash.
Okay then. If that is your SPECIFIC contention, then I believe I shall specifcally say that your position is, well, hogwash.
Women get rejected, I would guess, quite as frequently as men–which is to say that some get rejected a lot and some a little, and that some give up after being rejected over and over. I mean, seriously, do you KNOW any women?
As an only moderately attractive woman, I’ll vouch for what Skald said. There are quite a few men out there, I’m afraid, who don’t find me attractive enough, and I still remember one coworker who told me, years ago, “You’re like a moped – you’d be fun to ride, but no one would want to admit to doing it.” :rolleyes:
On the other hand, if someone tries to tell me sexism is dead, I simply point out the different reactions a man and a woman would get if each of them walked into a bar and said, “God, I’m horny! I just want to get laid!” I suspect the woman would get a lot more offers, depending, of course, on the bar.
DiosaBellisima hit the nail on the head.
Sometimes a man will actually turn down an offer of sex because he’s faithful to his wife or girlfriend. Don’t think that’s been mentioned.
My guess is, as a general rule:
1 woman + 10 guys, she says “anybody wanna go to bed with me?” She’ll get a yes 100% of the time unless she’s on the bottom 10 or 15% in physical beauty.
1 man + 10 women, he says “anybody wanna go to bed with me?” He’ll get a yes 5% of the time. Brad Pitt levels of hotness (did it sound too gay?) will increase the chance to 20%.
I’ve been told, by several guys, that they don’t like having sex with someone they don’t have an emotional closeness to. Some guys said that they doubted that they COULD have sex with someone they didn’t feel at least affectionate towards. If it was just one or two guys, I’d put it down to male bullshitting. But it’s several guys, and I tend to believe that these particular guys aren’t feeding me a load of crap.
Well, I agree with the basic stats, however, I don’t think that Brad Pitt is all that hot. However, adjusting for personal taste in men, yeah, I’d say that a guy who announces his availability to a table of women isn’t as likely to score as a woman who does the same to a table of men. Partly, it’s because women are more likely to want a little bit of romance, as opposed to the chance of having a plain orgasm. Partly, it’s because some (I’d say the majority, but don’t have the stats on tap) women need the emotional attachment to be interested in having sex with a particular guy. If this happened at MY table, for whatever reason, and that particular guy was my ideal man in looks, and I was so horny that it hurt, and I was sure that I’d be able to have an assignation without my husband or anyone else finding out about it…I’d still decline. Any guy who can make that sort of announcement is clearly desperate and has no social skills. That’s not somebody I want to let close to me. I read on this very message board that men’s biggest fear of women is that we’ll laugh at them (in a not-good way), but that women’s biggest fear of men is that they’ll rape and/or kill us. I think that this is true.
I think this is the big difference. For men, of course we would love for women to say straight out, “I wanna get laid.” and just pick one of us out of a crowd and not have to mess around with all the back and forth and the ‘this means that’ etc. That’s not to say we wouldn’t be interested in mutual satisfaction–for me that is my top priority–or that we’d just start rutting like animals in the parking lot, it is just that at those times we’d like to get down to business and don’t want to worry about diplomacy. I think it is because most men feel that the longer we talk the more likely we’ll say something–no matter how unrelated–that will make you change your mind. (Get in while the gettings good!)