I"m beyond the point of caring about the hard luck stories. The reason why you don’t have a job is because you’re a lazy ass. Thankfully, the unemployment check, which is sent to MY address, because you don’t have a permanent one, will cover the 6 quadrillion dollar cell phone bill you must have for endless text messages and phone calls.
My SO’s brother has been ‘staying’ here this week. He and his friend have been on the couch since the time they woke up watching MY big screen tv. He makes Jabba the Hut look like Lance Armstrong. This lazy SOB can sit there and watch 20 hours straight of reality shows, daytime court shows, and America’s Most Wanted.
In the meantime, I"m exiled in my own apartment to the bedroom. I’m typing on the laptop laying down on the bed.
My SO will be taking all the lazy freeloaders up to the reservation this weekend. If they’re not gone, I’m going to cancel the cable. If that doesn’t work, I"m going to gather up all the Doritos and the rest of their junk food and donate it to the food pantry.
My mother in law recently found out her latest husband had been making sexual advances on her learning disabled/retarded 27 year old daughter. When asked what she was doing, she said “I’m not talking to him.”
Yeah, there’s a reservation? Careful with regards to your hubby. Although there being TWO of them is probably working in your favor. My husbands other sister stayed with us for 3 months and I swear, I was at the end of my rope. Thankfully, she moved out just in the nick of time.
Please for the love of god tell me that the ending of that sentence was “…because it would be pointless, what with me having gone all Mr. Blonde on him.”
Do you have to cancel the cable, or can you just wiggle or remove a wire (something they’ll likely be too lazy to fix)? Also, if you have any junk food in the house, hide it and replace it with Brussel sprouts.
Or place a chair directly in front of the tv, facing the couch. Then sit and read. When they complain, tell them, “Well, if this was your place and tv you’d have a reason to complain. Hell, if you paid rent or did anything to contribute to this household, you’d have a leg to stand on. But you don’t. There’s the door.”
I don’t really get the rant. Your SO’s brother is staying for a week and your upset that he watches too much TV? I assume someone must’ve invited him, and if so it seems kinda evil to get pissy about his being there after the fact.
Or just do the sane thing and ask him not to monopolize the living room all day.
Tell them you are going to go out drinking and they might want to come along because you are buying. Get them in the car and drive them upstate and go to a bar near a farm. Take them into the bar and plunk $50 on the bar and tell the bartender to keep serving up beer till you are out of money with a $20 tip for him. Start your first beer but don’t drink much, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then slip out and drive home. Tell the SO that you took the brother and his lover upstate to live on a farm. SO can visit sometime.
Tell your SO to stay on the reservation with them. Move and leave no forwarding address. Change your damn locks. Put burglar bars on the windows. Move the TV into your bedroom. Put a huge lock on your bedroom door. Lots of ways to handle the problem.
I kid you not. We found out about 3 weeks ago. She found out about 3 months ago. She still lives with him, works with him, travels with him, has plans to meet with a divorce attorney, but otherwise, just isn’t talking to him. She did tell me she refuses to throw away her career and lifestyle and risk walking away with nothing because he chose to do this.
Needless to say, we are incredibly not thrilled. But hey, the good news is, every time she calls her daughter, the daughter gets to see his name on her caller ID.
The mother has called us more times since we found out how long she has known than she has in the past year. I guess she is trying to find out if she gets to keep the rest of her family if she tosses off the daughter. Holidays are going to be FUN.
