The Straight Dope

Go Back   Straight Dope Message Board > Main > In My Humble Opinion (IMHO)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:36 AM
Sampiro Sampiro is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
So what's your porn name (pet + street formula)?

For those not familiar with the legend, some porn stars derive their names from a system:

First name: the name of the first pet you ever had

Surname: the name of the first street you lived on

I honestly have no idea if any porn star ever actually used this, but it's somewhere between an urban legend and a tradition.

Obviously you have to make some adjustments; if I went with the above my porn name would be

War Eagle Rural Route One

which doesn't really work, so I go with the first pet who had a male/human name and the first street that could conceivably be a surname, which would make me

Dudley Calmar

What would yours be?
Reply With Quote
Advertisements  
  #2  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:38 AM
Drain Bead Drain Bead is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Burgundy Whitaker.

I knew a guy who had a dog Buster and grew up on Cherry Lane. Best porn name ever.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:40 AM
silenus silenus is offline
Hoc nomen meum verum non est.
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: SoCal
Posts: 40,524
Chris Tippecanoe

I'm too white to be able to pass as a Native American porn star (Shut up.)
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:41 AM
Alice The Goon Alice The Goon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Pepper Nitz. I used to associate the Nitz part with baby lice, but then a poster pointed out to me that the German Nitz is pronounced "nights", so that's way better.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:45 AM
tdn tdn is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Snooky Douglas
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:46 AM
ratatoskK ratatoskK is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Beyond the Pale
Posts: 3,912
Brownie Holbrook

Gee that sounds pretty good!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:47 AM
running coach running coach is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Riding my handcycle
Posts: 15,347
Eekm Loma Verde.

I don't think the system works very well.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:48 AM
Freddy the Pig Freddy the Pig is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Smoky Orchard, which sounds more like a bee-keeping service than a porn star.

If I went with a later street, I could be Smoky Beechwood, which sounds more like a barbecue sauce. That's OK, there isn't much of a market for bald middle-aged porn stars under any name.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:48 AM
Hypno-Toad Hypno-Toad is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Bubbles Stratton. Not so good since I'm a guy.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:49 AM
TheFaerie TheFaerie is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Just on the Other Side
Posts: 689
Wiggles Street

Techincally Wiggles East 77th Street, but that's a little weird.

Last edited by TheFaerie; 12-04-2009 at 11:51 AM.. Reason: Clarification
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:50 AM
Jack Batty Jack Batty is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Candy Frontier. Which rocks. If I were a chick.

Now if I use current pet/current street, I get her agent: Morty Franklin.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:51 AM
Pandora Pandora is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Brandy Cherry
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:51 AM
Anaamika Anaamika is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Jasper Cherry really doesn't sound good, but if I take my gecko's name, who is my current pet, it makes:

Picante Cherry,

which just about makes me fall over laughing. Spicy Cherry! Hee hee!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:51 AM
Really Not All That Bright Really Not All That Bright is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2003
Alfie Acreman. I'd have a bit part in a P.G. Wodehouse-themed porn, I guess.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:54 AM
Yllaria Yllaria is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Stockton
Posts: 7,992
Bandit Walnut.

Bandit isn't bad, but it needs a better surname. Unfortunately, the next street I lived on was 253rd St, then 254th Pl. My streets are letting me down.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:55 AM
Kinthalis Kinthalis is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2003
Link Styvenson.

I'm more interested in your pet however. War Eagle? He must of rocked!
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:55 AM
schnuckiputzi schnuckiputzi is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Skeeter Rock Springs.
I don't even know what to think about this person.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:56 AM
engineer_comp_geek engineer_comp_geek is offline
Robot Mod in Beta Testing
Moderator
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 8,391
Snoopy Clay.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 12-04-2009, 11:59 AM
Sampiro Sampiro is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anaamika View Post
Picante Cherry,

which just about makes me fall over laughing. Spicy Cherry! Hee hee!
Actually if you flip it- Cherry Picante- it sounds really great for an adult star.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freddy the Pig View Post
Smoky Orchard, which sounds more like a bee-keeping service than a porn star.
Sounds like something an old guy with a Maine accent (ala Fred Gwynne in Pet Semetary) would advertise: "Heah at Smoky Orchard, sometimes bread is bettah, ayap."

Quote:
Originally Posted by runner pat View Post
Eekm Loma Verde.
Curiosity compels me to ask: how do you pronounce Eekm and what kind of pet was s/he?

Last edited by Sampiro; 12-04-2009 at 12:02 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:00 PM
Leaffan Leaffan is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Ottawa Valley, eh.
Posts: 16,255
Shalto Law - Don't mess with me!
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:01 PM
Athena Athena is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 1999
Location: da UP, eh
Posts: 12,399
Samantha West. Sounds more like a pulp fiction lady detective than a porn star.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:02 PM
Girl Next Door Girl Next Door is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Oliver Candlestick

Which would be perfect...if I were a dude.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:05 PM
Jack Batty Jack Batty is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Batty View Post
Candy Frontier. Which rocks. If I were a chick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl Next Door View Post
Oliver Candlestick

Which would be perfect...if I were a dude.
You can be Candy, and I'll be Oliver. Problem solved.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:06 PM
running coach running coach is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Riding my handcycle
Posts: 15,347
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sampiro View Post

Curiosity compels me to ask: how do you pronounce Eekm and what kind of pet was s/he?
It was a pet rat, means EEK A MOUSE! Pronounced just as it's spelled, eek-mm.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:09 PM
Malleus, Incus, Stapes! Malleus, Incus, Stapes! is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Going by female names, I'd be Mystery... Mystery No-Lastname, my first street is too boring.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:11 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 22,710
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFaerie View Post
Wiggles Street

Techincally Wiggles East 77th Street, but that's a little weird.
Yeah, I'm Chipper East 88th Street.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:13 PM
mnemosyne mnemosyne is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Location: Montréal, Québec
Posts: 8,772
Nipper Wilson.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:14 PM
hotflungwok hotflungwok is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Snickers Naomi
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:14 PM
teela brown teela brown is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Mitzi Sarazen here. Which really does sound like a porn name, sort of. It's better than using the name of the next pet, which would make it:

Barley Sarazen. Pretty sexy, huh?
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:15 PM
Simmerdown Simmerdown is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Chicago-ish
Posts: 865
First pet/first house: Flicka Drake
Later pet/second house: Bruno Randall
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:33 PM
blondebear blondebear is offline
Shouting Grasshopper
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Meridian/280
Posts: 10,370
Well, my dog's registered AKC name was Princess Juliet of Midvale (Midvale being the street we lived on), so I'll tweak that a little: Jules Midvale
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:36 PM
GESancMan GESancMan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Morton Forest.

The funny thing is, the dog was named after Morton Kelsey, who was an Episcopal minister who was rather well known in religious circles - and also my mom's best friend's father.
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:43 PM
robardin robardin is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Flushing, NY
Posts: 4,307
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sampiro View Post
First name: the name of the first pet you ever had
Surname: the name of the first street you lived on
Well I've lived mostly on numbered streets and grew up without any pets, so this wouldn't work very well. Still, when I was 26 I got myself a pet, two cats that I named Sylvester and Figaro, and for the first 5 years of my life I lived on Sheridan Ave. in the South Bronx, so I guess that'd make me "Sylvester Sheridan" (sounds better than "Figaro Sheridan").

Later on I lived for 3 years on Remsen St. in Brooklyn, and "Figaro Remsen" has a certain ring to it.

When I was 28 I lived I lived on Park Ave. in Baltimore for one year (alas, very different from living on Park Avenue in Manhattan, unless you count going farther north than 96th St. anyway), and Figaro Park sounds like the best option of all.

Last edited by robardin; 12-04-2009 at 12:45 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:50 PM
FloatyGimpy FloatyGimpy is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Princess Penelope Ann Pit-stop Fauntleroy James White Boulevard
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:51 PM
RoniaBorkason RoniaBorkason is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
I love mine - Diamond La Riviera.
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:51 PM
JoseArcadio JoseArcadio is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Hammy Deas.
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:52 PM
Eleanor of Aquitaine Eleanor of Aquitaine is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Charlie 18th Avenue doesn't work so well.

Molly Dobbs is the best I can come up with.
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:53 PM
Girl Next Door Girl Next Door is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack Batty View Post
You can be Candy, and I'll be Oliver. Problem solved.
I don't know, I think Jack Batty is a pretty good name already.
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:54 PM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2000
This is how my wife, Pepper Mill, got her SDMB name.




I come out as Fluffy Colfax, about which the less said the better. Actually, I don't remember Fluffy very well. I'd more likely be Laddie Colfax, which still doesn't sound very porn-ish. If you went with the first pet I really had, I'd be Tiger Colfax, which is a little better.
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 12-04-2009, 12:57 PM
Malthus Malthus is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Tabitha Jackson.

Not too bad ... if I was a woman.
Reply With Quote
  #41  
Old 12-04-2009, 01:01 PM
Trom Trom is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Doc Tamarack
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 12-04-2009, 01:04 PM
otternell otternell is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Zoomer Avenue. Or Zoomer 6th Avenue. Either way - not so good.
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 12-04-2009, 01:04 PM
Katriona Katriona is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Following the formula, Penny Ninth, but we did move to Webster and took Penny with us, so Penny Webster. Our next dog was Duchess, and could make it Duchess Woodrow.
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 12-04-2009, 01:05 PM
picker picker is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Auburn, CA
Posts: 2,438
Boopie Camelback


I only do clown porn.
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 12-04-2009, 01:06 PM
Miller Miller is offline
Sith Mod
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Bear Flag Republic
Posts: 36,141
Zeke Irwin. Sounds like I'm the Croc Hunter of the Ozarks.
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 12-04-2009, 01:10 PM
Pyper Pyper is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Well, going with first pet/first street, I get Muffet Stonegate, which um...

Later pet works petter: Cocoa San Andres. Or, if I were a guy, Apollo San Andres. Sounds exotic!
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 12-04-2009, 01:11 PM
Sunspace Sunspace is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jun 1999
Location: Back in the GT eeehhhh...
Posts: 26,530
Hmmm.

Pud Leighton. Not bad in a sexually-nonspecific sort of way. Pud was our cat when I was little; he was named for the noise his front feet made hitting the floor as he jumped down from something.

A later cat maybe. Roumey Dufferin. My sister's cat when I lived on Dufferin St.

Then there was my cat J. P., which leads to the name Jean-Pierre Ribblesdale. Not bad.
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 12-04-2009, 01:12 PM
Nzinga, Seated Nzinga, Seated is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Baby Clinton! I like it!

I tried it with my current pet and street, and I like that too. Tokyo Alexander.
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 12-04-2009, 01:15 PM
Shakes Shakes is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Dallas Tx.
Posts: 10,108
Who the hell remembers the name of their first pet? There were pets in my house before I was born.

So anyway, I'm going with the first pet I owned as an adult.

Romeo Sunburst.
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 12-04-2009, 01:15 PM
FloatyGimpy FloatyGimpy is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
With my current pet it's Budgie Beaver.
Reply With Quote
Reply



Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:06 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright © 2013 Sun-Times Media, LLC.