So what's your porn name (pet + street formula)?

[Sampiro]

For those not familiar with the legend, some porn stars derive their names from a system:

First name: the name of the first pet you ever had

Surname: the name of the first street you lived on

I honestly have no idea if any porn star ever actually used this, but it's somewhere between an urban legend and a tradition.

Obviously you have to make some adjustments; if I went with the above my porn name would be

War Eagle Rural Route One

which doesn't really work, so I go with the first pet who had a male/human name and the first street that could conceivably be a surname, which would make me

Dudley Calmar

What would yours be?

[Drain Bead]

Burgundy Whitaker.

I knew a guy who had a dog Buster and grew up on Cherry Lane. Best porn name ever.

[silenus]

Chris Tippecanoe

I'm too white to be able to pass as a Native American porn star (Shut up.)

[Alice The Goon]

Pepper Nitz. I used to associate the Nitz part with baby lice, but then a poster pointed out to me that the German Nitz is pronounced "nights", so that's way better.

[tdn]

Snooky Douglas

[ratatoskK]

Brownie Holbrook

Gee that sounds pretty good!

[runner pat]

Eekm Loma Verde.

I don't think the system works very well.

[Freddy the Pig]

Smoky Orchard, which sounds more like a bee-keeping service than a porn star.

If I went with a later street, I could be Smoky Beechwood, which sounds more like a barbecue sauce. That's OK, there isn't much of a market for bald middle-aged porn stars under any name.

[Hypno-Toad]

Bubbles Stratton. Not so good since I'm a guy.

[TheFaerie]

Wiggles Street

Techincally Wiggles East 77th Street, but that's a little weird.

[Jack Batty]

Candy Frontier. Which rocks. If I were a chick.

Now if I use current pet/current street, I get her agent: Morty Franklin.

[Pandora]

Brandy Cherry

[Anaamika]

Jasper Cherry really doesn't sound good, but if I take my gecko's name, who is my current pet, it makes:

Picante Cherry,

which just about makes me fall over laughing. Spicy Cherry! Hee hee!

[Really Not All That Bright]

Alfie Acreman. I'd have a bit part in a P.G. Wodehouse-themed porn, I guess.

[Yllaria]

Bandit Walnut.

Bandit isn't bad, but it needs a better surname. Unfortunately, the next street I lived on was 253rd St, then 254th Pl. My streets are letting me down.

[Kinthalis]

Link Styvenson.

I'm more interested in your pet however. War Eagle? He must of rocked!

[schnuckiputzi]

Skeeter Rock Springs.
I don't even know what to think about this person.

[engineer_comp_geek]

Snoopy Clay.

[Sampiro]

Originally Posted by Anaamika

Picante Cherry,

which just about makes me fall over laughing. Spicy Cherry! Hee hee!

Actually if you flip it- Cherry Picante- it sounds really great for an adult star.

Originally Posted by Freddy the Pig

Smoky Orchard, which sounds more like a bee-keeping service than a porn star.

Sounds like something an old guy with a Maine accent (ala Fred Gwynne in Pet Semetary) would advertise: "Heah at Smoky Orchard, sometimes bread is bettah, ayap."

Originally Posted by runner pat

Eekm Loma Verde.

Curiosity compels me to ask: how do you pronounce Eekm and what kind of pet was s/he?

[Leaffan]

Shalto Law - Don't mess with me!

[Athena]

Samantha West. Sounds more like a pulp fiction lady detective than a porn star.

[Girl Next Door]

Oliver Candlestick

Which would be perfect...if I were a dude.

[Jack Batty]

Originally Posted by Jack Batty

Candy Frontier. Which rocks. If I were a chick.

Originally Posted by Girl Next Door

Oliver Candlestick

Which would be perfect...if I were a dude.

You can be Candy, and I'll be Oliver. Problem solved.

[runner pat]

Originally Posted by Sampiro

Curiosity compels me to ask: how do you pronounce Eekm and what kind of pet was s/he?

It was a pet rat, means EEK A MOUSE! Pronounced just as it's spelled, eek-mm.

[Malleus, Incus, Stapes!]

Going by female names, I'd be Mystery... Mystery No-Lastname, my first street is too boring.

[panache45]

Originally Posted by TheFaerie

Wiggles Street

Techincally Wiggles East 77th Street, but that's a little weird.

Yeah, I'm Chipper East 88th Street.

[mnemosyne]

Nipper Wilson.

[hotflungwok]

Snickers Naomi

[teela brown]

Mitzi Sarazen here. Which really does sound like a porn name, sort of. It's better than using the name of the next pet, which would make it:

Barley Sarazen. Pretty sexy, huh?

[Simmerdown]

First pet/first house: Flicka Drake
Later pet/second house: Bruno Randall

[blondebear]

Well, my dog's registered AKC name was Princess Juliet of Midvale (Midvale being the street we lived on), so I'll tweak that a little: Jules Midvale

[GESancMan]

Morton Forest.

The funny thing is, the dog was named after Morton Kelsey, who was an Episcopal minister who was rather well known in religious circles - and also my mom's best friend's father.

[robardin]

Originally Posted by Sampiro

First name: the name of the first pet you ever had
Surname: the name of the first street you lived on

Well I've lived mostly on numbered streets and grew up without any pets, so this wouldn't work very well. Still, when I was 26 I got myself a pet, two cats that I named Sylvester and Figaro, and for the first 5 years of my life I lived on Sheridan Ave. in the South Bronx, so I guess that'd make me "Sylvester Sheridan" (sounds better than "Figaro Sheridan").

Later on I lived for 3 years on Remsen St. in Brooklyn, and "Figaro Remsen" has a certain ring to it.

When I was 28 I lived I lived on Park Ave. in Baltimore for one year (alas, very different from living on Park Avenue in Manhattan, unless you count going farther north than 96th St. anyway), and Figaro Park sounds like the best option of all.

[FloatyGimpy]

Princess Penelope Ann Pit-stop Fauntleroy James White Boulevard

[RoniaBorkason]

I love mine - Diamond La Riviera.

[JoseArcadio]

Hammy Deas.

[Eleanor of Aquitaine]

Charlie 18th Avenue doesn't work so well.

Molly Dobbs is the best I can come up with.

[Girl Next Door]

Originally Posted by Jack Batty

You can be Candy, and I'll be Oliver. Problem solved.

I don't know, I think Jack Batty is a pretty good name already.

[CalMeacham]

This is how my wife, Pepper Mill, got her SDMB name.




I come out as Fluffy Colfax, about which the less said the better. Actually, I don't remember Fluffy very well. I'd more likely be Laddie Colfax, which still doesn't sound very porn-ish. If you went with the first pet I really had, I'd be Tiger Colfax, which is a little better.

[Malthus]

Tabitha Jackson.

Not too bad ... if I was a woman.

[Trom]

Doc Tamarack

[otternell]

Zoomer Avenue. Or Zoomer 6th Avenue. Either way - not so good.

[Katriona]

Following the formula, Penny Ninth, but we did move to Webster and took Penny with us, so Penny Webster. Our next dog was Duchess, and could make it Duchess Woodrow.

[picker]

Boopie Camelback


I only do clown porn.

[Miller]

Zeke Irwin. Sounds like I'm the Croc Hunter of the Ozarks.

[Pyper]

Well, going with first pet/first street, I get Muffet Stonegate, which um...

Later pet works petter: Cocoa San Andres. Or, if I were a guy, Apollo San Andres. Sounds exotic!

[Sunspace]

Hmmm.

Pud Leighton. Not bad in a sexually-nonspecific sort of way. Pud was our cat when I was little; he was named for the noise his front feet made hitting the floor as he jumped down from something.

A later cat maybe. Roumey Dufferin. My sister's cat when I lived on Dufferin St.

Then there was my cat J. P., which leads to the name Jean-Pierre Ribblesdale. Not bad.

[Nzinga, Seated]

Baby Clinton! I like it!

I tried it with my current pet and street, and I like that too. Tokyo Alexander.

[Shakes]

Who the hell remembers the name of their first pet? There were pets in my house before I was born.

So anyway, I'm going with the first pet I owned as an adult.

Romeo Sunburst.

[FloatyGimpy]

With my current pet it's Budgie Beaver.