Perhaps my fellow Dopers can offer some legal or other advice. I have reason to believe I could be served with appropriate papers shortly. I expect them to read something like this:
"We, the duly sworn Grand Jury of an Undisclosed County and State, having considered the evidence presented, do hereby find that there is probable cause to believe that two adult citizens known as Oakminster and The Druidess have willfully and deliberately entered into a Conspiracy to Commit Matrimony in the First Degree on or about the 31st day of December, 2010, within the above and unsaid County and State, a crime against the peace and dignity of all middle aged curmudgeonly bachelors and sweet woodland nymphs, and we hereby so charge.
Returned, a True Bill, this the 2nd day of January, 2011.
Signed,
Grand Jury Foreman.
<seal>"*
I’m afraid I have no choice but to enter a plea of guilty, and request a sentence of Life without Parole.
:D:D:D:cool::):eek::D:D
Never thought this would happen for me.
<wanders off, vaguely humming “Going to the Chapel”…badly.>
<Hmmm…wonder if that thing about the benefit of being the groom is that weddings plan themselves is true? I just have to show up reasonably sober?>
Yup…I am really engaged. Yee Haw!
Congratulations, y’all! And yes, you do have to show up reasonably sober, I believe. You may also have to provide “input” into favors, flowers, dresses and the such, for which the appropriate format is, “That’s lovely, dear. I couldn’t have picked a better [favor/flower/dress/bridesmaid] myself. What would I do without you?”
If offered a choice, the responses “Whichever you think is best” or “I think they’re both lovely” appear to be de rigeur. However, since I am not a wedding planner, and even if I was, not your wedding planner nor even necessarily licensed as a wedding planner in your state , please note that YMMV and I am not accountable if your bride hits you with a bouquet/table decorations/sample invitation after getting fed up of these responses.
ETA and of course, congratulations and good wishes for your life together!
The indictment gave the date of the matrimony as on or about the 31st day of December 2010. So that would indicate that it is a “done deal”. Did you mean 2011 for the year?
Speaking as a woman who has been married for 22 years, I can honestly say that, if you marry the right person (and I did, I did!), marriage is far and away the best thing you can do for yourself!
Congratulations and best of luck! I wish the two of you all possible happiness!
Well, except for how The Druidess informs me that weddings do not plan themselves. And that variants of “whatever you like is fine with me” may carry severe consequences and/or repercussions.
Fortunately, she has accepted the universal law that wedding planning sessions may not be scheduled during any NFL playoff game, up to and including the Super Bowl, and especially not during any New Orleans Saints playoff games, as amended to exclude the Pro Bowl, since nobody cares about that farce anyway.
Okay. Do what any sensible person would - run. To Mexico. Don’t contact home, don’t take your cell phone, don’t use your credit cards or take your car.
:eek::D:D
