Stuck in a cubicle farm, wasting my life. Got these 5 women on my team. I’m the only guy. They’re lovely people. Always pleasant, always quick with a smile. We get on. But 3 of them are really overweight, and one of the other two is…well, not fat as such, but still pretty ashamed. Like I say, nice people, and I enjoy their company. Usually. I do have one small complaint. These lovely women will, if you let them, whine about their fucking weight until the heat death of the universe*! *“Oh, it’s so haaard.” “Nothing I do ever woooorks.” "It’s impossible!!"
BULLSHIT!!
You either don’t know what to do, or you do but you’re choosing not to. It drives me mental.
And they talk so much bullshit as well! Here’s a gem: Apparently, it’s possible, if you really don’t wanna diet, to “crunch” yourself thin. I don’t know which dogshit fashion magazine or village idiot they got that from, but it’s bullshit. Another one: Apparently, you should only eat carbs from between 12:00pm and 18:00pm. Fucked if I know how that works, but what’s the point? Why torment yourself learning all these abstruse rules when the facts of weight loss are so simple.
I used to be a little tubby. Not much, just couple stone or so. So I did some reading, smartened up my diet and started working out. Now I’ve lost 80% of the weight and within a month or so will probably have a decent 6 pack. Well done me. Aren’t I fucking special? Well, no. Not really. Fuck sake, people. It’s not complicated. This is how you lose weight:
There. A billion dollar a year industry summarized in less than one page. Easy, really, because 99% of that industry is steaming horseshit that nobody ever needed to hear. Now nobody has any excuse, and you never need to read any more bullshit diet columns in your hateful fashion and style magazines which never tell you what you really need to know and only exist to perpetuate false standards of beauty no human could ever live up to in an attempt to guilt you into buying SHIT you don’t NEED. There are other methods, but this one works. There are undoubtedly flaws in this method. Doesn’t matter. There are flaws in every method, and this one’s good enough. Results may vary, expect to wait 8-12 weeks for delivery. 1lb per week, and if you work it like it’s written it’ll be 1lb of fat per week, not muscle. It’s not easy, but it’s not that hard either. Try it.
Yeah, I did end up going on a bit. On the other hand, it is useful if you eat 6 meals a day, and the 40-40-20 macronutrient split is good for fat loss a well as maintaining muscle mass. It may seem complicated, but all that calculating and portion measuring will take probably around about 3 hours. Then you’ll have a diet you can follow for the next 3 months and lose a stone of flab.
In all seriousness, it’s easy to boil everything down to “Eat less & exercise more” but that doesn’t really mean anything. Most people vastly overestimate the number of calories they burn and vastly underestimate the number of calories they eat. To make sure they’re eating less than they burn, they first have to work out how much they burn. Then they have to work out how many calories are in the foods they eat and keep a running tally. That’s an awful lot of work. Best to just work out something you can eat every day that keeps you on target and stick with it. While you’re at it, though, try going for the 40-40-20 carb/protein/fat split. It’ll help you stay full, and ensure that your body has enough protein to minimize muscle loss. Like I say, takes 3 hours, lasts 3 months.
How long have you maintained your loss? Just curious, cuz like, the success rate of weight loss maintenance is currently something like 5%. If you’re one of the lucky few, we have to know how you did it (other than the obvious.) Because in my experience, weight loss is 5% math and 95% cognitive restructuring.
You can handle the math pretty easily with www.sparkpeople.com though. They have a nifty little calorie tracker and will even calculate your calorie range and it takes all of 3 minutes a day to keep track of that stuff.
Couple of months. It’s still an ongoing project. I want to get down to 8%bf and then start a slow bulk, trying to put on as much muscle as possible while keeping my bf below 12-14%. The important thing, as I see it, is that if I do slip up, I know how to get back on track right quick.
Can’t answer for Cort, but I’m currently about 5-10lbs overweight (10 lbs if I just want to lose weight, 5 lbs if I want to lose weight and replace flab with muscle).
However, I used to be about 40lbs overweight. I lost most of the 40lbs by low-carbing in one single 3-month push, but have kept most of it off for the last 8 years by eating the same as I did when I got fat, but by being more active.
Not active like Xtreeeeem sportz, but active like cycling around the place and walking a bit and stuff, on a daily basis. It’s not that difficult.
Goodness, I’m sorry. I forgot myself. Let me try again:
“I hate the hypocritical Democrat/Republican Obamabotic/Tea-bagging “FAUX” News/NYT pundits who oppose gay rights/tax cuts and love/hate guns and use “your” when they mean “you’re” or vice versa while saying something crazy about animal rights and overusing SDMB memes from 2006”
Yes, it’s another fat thread in the pit. Get over it. And if you can’t, console yourself with the knowledge that, post for post, this one has more solid info about weight loss than all the rest put together.
It’s about time someone on the Internet stepped up and told fat people to lose some weight. Thank you, Cort, for finally breaking the silence. You are a hero to us all.
You seem informed on the subject, but I need to ask, have you read Gary Taubes seminal work “Good Calories, Bad Calories”? Because if you havent then I really cant take you seriously.
