So this is a really Seventeen-ish kind of question, and I feel a bit ridiculous asking it. Still, I’m curious. I’m sure it’s been discussed before, but it’s a bit hard to search for. Let’s try it one more time
How long do you wait before calling someone after a date (or after getting their number)?
Now, I realize that both men and women can be the first one to call, but cultural norms (and my mother) dictate it’s generally the man. Regardless, feel free to answer the question however you like. That is, whether you’re a man or woman, do you prefer to be the one to call first or to wait? If you prefer to call, how long do you wait to call? If you prefer to wait, how long do you think is an acceptable amount of time to wait?
Furthermore, how does the content of the meeting/date affect this? For example: a random meeting somewhere; a casual first date; the first time you sleep with someone, etc.
Yes, if you were wondering, I am making this topic to distract myself from the fact that a guy has not called me yet. I know I could call him, but it’s his turn, damn it! Also I don’t believe there’s some perfect number of days you should wait or something–this isn’t about playing ridiculous games, just common courtesy. Feel free to just mention an approximate range.
haha I have never once thought about this in my life because anyone I ever went out on a date with, we were texting with eachother the minute the date was over and then eventually met up again soon after.
I say no more than a day or two. If 4 or 5 days go with no call… not looking good. But I have literally zero experience here.
Last time, I sent an email the day after the first date saying I’d had a good time. Other than that, I’d call her every week/two weeks to invite her to a date.
I don’t think there is a set number of days or that I should call or wait for the call. If it were purely up to me, I wouldn’t do any follow up or expect any. I’d treat it in much the same way I do when I have a pleasant outing with a friend; if it was fun, no need to send a note confirming it was fun, just think of what you’ll do next and invite the other person some time before the outing. You know how it used to be that inviting friends to have dinner at your place would create the expectation of a formal thank you note afterward? I hope the “I had a good time” call after a date will suffer the same fate.
But I know my view of it is a minority one and would likely be misinterpreted as lack of interest.
Depends on the situation of course, but I think 3 days is kind of money… This scene from Swingers pretty much says it all.
I’d say 1-7 days is pretty standard. I’d suggest not getting nervous until day 8. It sounds like you’ve already talked to each other a few times? Any dates? I’d say that after a couple dates a one-call asymmetry shouldn’t scare him off. YMMV of course.
I think three days is too long if there is interest there - I like the idea of calling the day after a date, just to check in and say you had a good time, want to see you again, etc. With so many ways to get in touch with people these days, there really is no excuse for not getting in touch with someone you want to see again.
When I met my husband (through an online dating site), he called me later that afternoon. We’ve been married for over nine years now.
I would say if it was good - the next day or even a text that night when I arrived home to say how good it was - then maybe call a day or 2 later - if they did not contact me after a week then maybe a email to say hi - to test the water so to speak.
I was off the market for over 23 years so I am a bit out of date with this - only 2 years of trying and still not sure.
You never call the next day. This shows you’re desperate and too much interest, a woman has to keep them guessing and so does a man. Of course it’s one thing to make a man/woman guess and to keep them guessing. One day is too short, a week is too long.
One day says you’re too eager. A week says you thought about it, figured you couldn’t do better so you become the "OK to date, while I keep looking for something better.
So you need to go between 2 and 6 days. Depending on what message you want to send.
It’s the man’s responsibility to contact the woman after the first date, and if he doesn’t, I move on. If he’s interested he’ll eventually contact me. (Earlier this year, I went on a date with a man and changed my phone number five days later because he still hadn’t contacted me. A couple weeks later I got an e-mail from him. Like I said, if they’re interested they’ll be in touch.)
If the guy’s not interested, I’m not cocky enough to proclaim that it’s his loss. Maybe he was a great person and it was my loss. But that’s a risk I’m willing to take because I want my men to chase after me.
If you want to chase after this man then go ahead and call. Just recognize that whatever you do sets the tone and pace for future interactions between you guys.
Sending a text later after the date or calling the next day = I’m interested.
Waiting between 2-6 days = I’m playing some sort of mind game because I’m not really all that into you, but I don’t have any other options at the moment, so I’m toying with you.
After 6 days = My first choice fell through, so you’re up.
I’d calling the next day is fine. If someone judges you as “desperate” for wanting to communicate with them two days in a row, you’re better off without them.
It really all depends on how the first date goes, especially if you have discussed going out again.In most cases, calling the next day at a reasonable time is OK. If there’s mutual interest then they will be receptive to a call when it is a good time for them, calling as soon as you get home (as in the Swingers scene) or calling them at work is creepy.
Also, calling too often is probably worse than calling too early or late.
Somewhat, as far as when I’d expect a guy to call. If it was just a casual first date, a couple of days would be ok. If we just slept together for the first time, sooner.
If he doesn’t call, he’s not that interested.
If he doesn’t call, he’s not that interested.
If he doesn’t call, he’s not that interested.
It sucks, it goes against everything we’ve been taught about being strong independent 21st century women but dammit IT’S TRUE. It’s damn near impossible NOT to call people these days what with butt dialing. If he’s into you, he’ll make time, period.
Don’t call him. And if he calls you after Wednesday of this week for a date this weekend, you already have other plans.
So let me get this straight: analyzing exactly which day a guy calls and rejecting him based on your perception of his behavior while refusing to just call him yourself is not also a “game?” Couldn’t he just be busy? Maybe he’s a consultant or something.
The truth is, if a woman is extremely interested in a man, it doesn’t shut off after 48 hours. If Johnny Depp waited 6 days to call her, I assure you, she’d just be happy he called at all. She wouldn’t reject him because he didn’t follow her 2 day game rule.
With that said, I think if a man waits a day or several to call, you shouldn’t take it so personally. From our perspective, we can screw it up by calling too soon and maybe we can screw it up by waiting too long, but from what I’ve seen, the former is more likely than the latter, so we should err on that side even if we are crazy about her. It’s not automatically some “I AM DATING AROUND AND YOU ARE MY BACKUP PLAN” billboard.
