I do my best to maintain an objective curiosity without snickering as I begin to read about the threat of flying cows. It becomes clear the are no flying cows or even catapulted cows, simply a cow who walked onto a roof and fell through. Thinking I am one simple paragraph away from making it through with a proper dignity. Then I come across this:
And all composure was lost. I am so glad that was cleared up, There is far too much negligent parenting these days, Raising kids simply as a sacrifice to the almighty falling cow.
Speaking of which, in the spirit of words like defenestration, there should be a word meaning “fallen on by cow” to simply these matters.