|
|
|
|
#1
10-01-2001, 11:08 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Okay, this is going to be pretty weak as far as Pit rants go, but DAMN I'm ticked.
Hey! YOU! Yes, you! The freakish template for Grandpa Simpson. Who the HELL do you think you are? Let me give you a clue. I'm VERY particular about who I let touch me. Not only are you not on the list, but you are nowhere NEAR the list. See that transvestite prostitute over there? Yeah, the one who's got her penis duct-taped so tightly it's gonna fall off? And the track marks? I'd let HER touch me LONG before I let your gnarled, FREEZING COLD corpse hands in my personal space. Look you formaldyhyde-swilling methusala fuckhead, just because you're in Vegas and five minutes from the viagra kicking in does NOT give you the right to accost everything wandering around with breasts. Yes, I had a half-shirt on. Yes, I was wearing leather pants. Yes, that placed my navel in plain sight (THE HORROR) and probably marked me as a high-class hooker. Staring is one thing.. I expected that (if you'd been about 300 years younger, I would've HOPED for it). Sure it's a little creepy, considering I could be your great-great-great granddaughter and all, but I can deal. But you SO crossed the line here, and you're damn lucky I didn't go biblical on your ass. Just because you SEE exposed skin does NOT give you permission to TOUCH the skin. Oh, and how many times did you practice that cute little pickup line, anyway? "Why don't you have a diamond in your bellybutton" indeed. You offering, Gramps? Cause the way I see things, you'd drop dead of a heart attack as soon as I bared an ankle. As long as I got the diamond up front, it wouldn't be a problem. I'd say a heary fuck you, but you'd probably take it as an invitation. So I'll leave you with this: I hope you got your thrills. I hope you go home and share with Andy and Barney and Otis the story of the hot little redhead that let you fondle her bare stomach. I'm sure you'll leave out the part where she had to physically restrain her friends from slowly breaking every one of your fingers, ripping your tongue out to leave as a snack for The Amazing We're-Not-Assfucking-The-Hell-Out-Of-Each-Other-Really-We-Like-Women magicians' white tigers, and giving the rest of your scrawny, english setter-looking body to the aforementioned transvestite prostitute. Above all, I hope that at some point in your vacation, when you pulled your head out of the slot machines and made it out of the bar, you tried this little game with someone who had much less restraint than I. And I hope- since you didn't seem phased by the rather large guy who was with us- that she beats the fuck out of you, then allows her male companion to prop you up by shoving anything within arms' reach up your constipated ass so she can do it again. Goddamn. You bring shame on all the other lecherous old men.. may they revoke your membership. Coming soon.. The story behind the following exchange: "Would it be possible to sing an a capella song? It's in Gaelic." "I'm sorry, I can't let you do that. Even if you are a lesbian."  -BK
__________________
pointedly does NOT cop a cheap feel from bobkitty, who he imagines has sharp claws and can hiss like a pissed-off bobcat-iampunha Baroness Junior Grade of Furry Wilderness Creatures. 
|
| Advertisements | |
|
|
|
|
#2
10-01-2001, 11:15 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I think im in love, whoa you rock
|
|
#3
10-01-2001, 11:21 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
That, my dear, was a testament to ranting. I applaud your zeal in reprimanding a surly old fart with hands quicker than his wits.
Some people just gotta die.
|
|
#4
10-01-2001, 11:28 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
So, bobkitty, you want I should get some people together and teach this geezer a lesson? No charge, really.
Seriously, ew. Ew ew ew ew! You shoulda kneed him in the nuts. Assuming he still has any. Mmmmmm.....bobkitty in a half-shirt and leather pants... Oops. Was I flirting in the Pit? Bad LindyHopper. Bad.
|
|
#5
10-01-2001, 11:34 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Duly noted with full concurence, Lindy.
|
|
#6
10-01-2001, 12:12 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
__________________
broccoli! can't read or dress himself so try to be nice to him. pezpunk does not discriminate in employment on the basis of race, color, national origin, age, sex, sexual orientation, disability, veteran or marital status or other protected status covered by federal, state or local law.
|
|
#7
10-01-2001, 12:25 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#8
10-01-2001, 12:45 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
|
#9
10-01-2001, 12:52 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
And Lindy.. sweetie.. darling.. I bet if YOU'D been there he wouldn't have DREAMED of coming over and man-handling me. You don't need to go beat him up.. but if you can think of something that would take away the.. *sniff* pain and *sniff* trauma of the event *wiping away tear* I would be most.. appreciative.  Damn it. Get it right, kitty. Flirting in Pit=BAD. No snuggles for you!!! -BK
|
|
#10
10-01-2001, 01:05 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
Ahhh don't be so tough on yourself! I'll snuggle you. [/rubbing bobkitty's tummy-wummy]
__________________
broccoli! can't read or dress himself so try to be nice to him. pezpunk does not discriminate in employment on the basis of race, color, national origin, age, sex, sexual orientation, disability, veteran or marital status or other protected status covered by federal, state or local law.
|
|
#11
10-01-2001, 01:19 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
[quietly broods in loathsome introspection]
I'm glad this is the Pit. Now I can bitch about the fact that nobody ever responds to my posts. Oh!! Why do I try so hard!!!! [sob] I know what I'll do!! I'll make a sock puppet! Then I'll have no need of you Dopers!!!!!
__________________
The continuing stooOOory of a quack who's gone to the dogs.
|
|
#12
10-01-2001, 01:28 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
Now, If you would still like to bitch about how nobody at SDMB loves you why don't you start your own post? This one is about bobkitty's tummy.
__________________
broccoli! can't read or dress himself so try to be nice to him. pezpunk does not discriminate in employment on the basis of race, color, national origin, age, sex, sexual orientation, disability, veteran or marital status or other protected status covered by federal, state or local law.
|
|
#13
10-01-2001, 01:31 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
 One little thing, though.. he wasn't surly. If he HAD been, he would've gone up a notch or two on the 'okay, maybe if I put a bag over both our heads I could find you attractive' scale. I like surliness. And pez.. thanks for the tummy rubs. But you'd better not let Lindy catch you. I'm not sure if he's the jealous type.. -BK
|
|
#14
10-01-2001, 01:39 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Ya know..
I'm going to jump in and help out all the horny guys here.
Bobkitty, we need to see your tummy. Just to know why this old pervert couldn't help himself. However, if the tummy is offlimits, it's offlimits.* Gorgon: I share your pain. *disclaimer: I have taken pains to try and get a tight tummy and failed. I just want a reason to hate you.
__________________
"What you really need to examine is what he means by 'evil.' Is it newborns-in-a-microwave evil, or just masturbating-on-a-Saturday-night evil?" - Happy Lendervedder
|
|
#15
10-01-2001, 01:49 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Hey.. great idea! You got it, Venoma.. I've got pics of me in The Outfit. As soon as they get developed, I'll link to 'em. And trust me, you don't have a reason to hate me. The Bobkitty Tummy is not flat.. it's got (and here I must fall back on the Male Opinion, since I'm a TERRIBLE judge of such things) "just the right amount of padding." I bet your tummy is just as perfect.
-BK
|
|
#17
10-01-2001, 02:11 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
pooch or not to pooch
personally, a little bit of "padding" is not unattractive... a little pooch never hurt anyone. And hell, "abs of steel" are not always attractive (believe it or not). Indeed, having a smooth belly can be considerably more attractive than a rippling one - be it muscle or, well... extra baggage.
and why I'm talking about this, I do not know. and besides, my wife is pregnant right now, so its all irrelavent to me anyway...
|
|
#19
10-01-2001, 03:19 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Ya know..
Quote:
__________________
broccoli! can't read or dress himself so try to be nice to him. pezpunk does not discriminate in employment on the basis of race, color, national origin, age, sex, sexual orientation, disability, veteran or marital status or other protected status covered by federal, state or local law.
|
|
#20
10-01-2001, 03:24 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Ya know..
Quote:
__________________
broccoli! can't read or dress himself so try to be nice to him. pezpunk does not discriminate in employment on the basis of race, color, national origin, age, sex, sexual orientation, disability, veteran or marital status or other protected status covered by federal, state or local law.
|
|
#22
10-01-2001, 03:29 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Oops sorry about the double post. Guess I was overly excited.
__________________
broccoli! can't read or dress himself so try to be nice to him. pezpunk does not discriminate in employment on the basis of race, color, national origin, age, sex, sexual orientation, disability, veteran or marital status or other protected status covered by federal, state or local law.
|
|
#23
10-01-2001, 04:21 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Ah, heck, bobkitty, I'm not the jealous type. I'm a lover, not a fighter. Did I really just say that?
And I've gotta second Venoma here; we NEED to see the pics (or at least I do).
|
|
#24
10-01-2001, 07:08 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
It never fails to amaze me that women who dress like gutter whores get offended when a lecherous advance is made. You don't exactly command the respect of a nun with leather pants and a half-shirt, you know.
I sorry you were sexually-harassed. Did you deserve it? No. Were you asking for it? Yes.
|
|
#26
10-01-2001, 08:11 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Okay, I'm going to handle this in order.
Delta9, I'm actually a pretty easygoing person. But just in case, keep that note to self pretty close by. Pezpunk, meet Venoma. Venoma, meet Pezpunk. Talk amongst yourselves. Nocturne, baby, you KNOW I'd never say such a crass thing to you. And I'm counting the days to the next Dope. But since I don't know how long it's gonna be, I'm not sure where to start counting. It's very confusing. Lindy.. yes, you really did say that. But it's okay. Pic source claims they'll be 1-houred tomorrow at some point, so they should be up soon. I promise you'll be the first to see them. Good enough? I hope so, 'cause I have a small request. See that locknesshump over there? Could you beat the crap out of it for me? Oh, wait, never mind. I'll do it. But you can be standing right there to congratulate me when I'm done.I'm going to apologize in advance for my piss-poor spelling. I'm better with the spoken word. Any German-speaking mods can feel free to correct me. Lock.. buddy. Pal. Hamlich Kuh. Dickschadle swinezahne[/i]. Unmensch. Uberteufel. You are a total fuckwad. Let me point something out. REGARDLESS of how I am dressed, NO ONE has the right to put their hands on me. Did I ask anyone for respect? Nope. Did I get dressed with the thought in mind 'hey, maybe I'm going to turn some heads tonight'? Yup. I'm not a fucking moron, unlike present company. Was I asking for it? Hmmm. You know, at some point I FORGOT to put on my 'Hey, I've got a little skin showing, please come fondle me without so much as an offer for a drink' sign. See, in what we call polite society, we know to keep our hands to ourselves. We don't assume that it's okay to walk up to a woman you have never seen before and assault her. Hey, one of the employees at our hotel wandered around in a kilt. I thought he was pretty damn hot. Would it have been okay for me to walk up to him and shove my hand up his crotch? He was asking for it, you know. We all know that Scotsmen don't wear anything under their kilts. Who did he think he was, walking around like that, all tempting and stuff? And don't think for a SECOND I'm going to let the gutter whore comment go by. I'm just too pissed off right now to get out a halfway coherent, properly vitrolic reply. You repressed, chauvinistic, impotent freak. -BK
|
|
#27
10-01-2001, 08:36 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
You just admitted you objectified yourself, and now you're stunned someone else objectified you??? Get a damn clue.
Try dressing like an average librarian and see if you get pawed. Won't happened. If you wanna dress like a party girl in Vegas, don't blame me some slack-jawed tourist mistakes you for a stripper/prostitute. Nevada sort of has a rep, you know? And your intentions for dressing that way really don't matter much when it comes to making first impressions, on drunken casino-goers, or otherwise.
|
|
#28
10-01-2001, 08:58 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
LochNessHumps-dead-syphilitic-goats:
You fucking idiot. You're a disgrace to the fucking idiots of the world, who are now fervently wishing you'd drop out of their club. I mean, come on--the rest of us evolved. Where were you? It doesn't matter what anyone wears; if I wore a BIKINI and STILLETTO HEELS and someone tried to hump my leg, I would CASTRATE him. I dress how I like. If I dress like a goth, I'm not going to fly out of class on a broomstick to my coven where we boil big vats of suspicious-looking green stuff and counsel with Macbeth. If I dress like a hippie, it doesn't necessarily mean I smoke pot and drive a VW Microbus and worship the Dead. And if I dress to expose a little skin, it does NOT mean I want the GREAT DECREPIT UNWASHED of the world to TOUCH me and expect biblical knowledge of my innermost secrets simply because I want to look good. You may now go to Hell--go straight to Hell. Do not pass Go; do not collect two hundred dollars. And while you're at it, go fuck yourself. Or maybe you should just go try to fondle some random chick on the street that you think is sexy and be slapped into oblivion. Either way, it'd serve you right.
|
|
#29
10-01-2001, 09:04 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
Grrr. I hate fuckwads.
|
|
#30
10-01-2001, 09:06 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
I find it both sad and pathetic that you would stand up and try to justify the actions of morons. Go ahead and join them... just don't expect people like me to jump in and help out on your side...
|
|
#31
10-01-2001, 09:12 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
So, LockNessDump, you are hereby invited to lick the sagging, purulent, flaky, scabby, maggot-ridden bag of the subject (as in, not bobkitty) in the OP. And then go do your community service: a full month of being Jack Dean Tyler's research partner. Do a search to find out about the late, great man. I'd kick you in the ass, but I wouldn't want to cut off your air supply just yet.
|
|
#32
10-01-2001, 09:24 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Loch, honey, watch it. Come down off your cloud for a second or two and listen to what us *lowly* women have to say. While you at it, take some time to remove your head from out of your ass. But be careful, it seems pretty far up there.
Just because bobkitty is proud of her body and likes to show some skin every once in a while, does not mean she is a walking talking open invitation for groping. Yes, when one dresses provocatively, one can expect stares, winks, offers for drinks, maybe even a few offers for more than drinks since, after all, it is Vegas. This does not mean that some sick make-me-fall-over-and-i-might-have-a-heart-attach-and-die geezer can touch her WITHOUT her consent. It doesn't even mean sexy kilt man can touch her without her consent. Grow the fuck up. Women are not on earth to please a guy's every whim and fancy, even if he is in his own old drunken fantasy world. Now then, I advise you never to meet any Doper women in this state of mind of you will have many more things up your behind then only your head. But could you blame us? With those comments, you were definately asking for it. Doper women sort of have a rep, you know?
|
|
#33
10-01-2001, 09:53 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
And if I had meant to say women who dress slutty deserve to be raped, I would have said it. Stop putting words in my mouth you slobbering PC reactionary dolts. I said I can't believe women who dress slutty are actually SURPRISED that there are going to be people who think they ARE slutty. If you're going to go outside in a suit made of shit, expect some flies. It's called cause and effect. I don't know if any of you noticed this, but we're not living in Utopia. There are people who misbehave. So wake the fuck up and get a grasp on real life. Most of my sympathy and compassion goes to causes like starving children or homeless veterens. So don't expect me to cry my eyes out for someone who dresses like a Wet T-shirt Night contestant and then gets her butt pinched by a drunken old fart. And leave this board open for people who actually have a legitimate gripe.
|
|
#34
10-01-2001, 10:01 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Here's my legitimate gripe:
You're an asshole. iampunha has SO much more going for him than you do--and it's almost funny. Funny in the "how sad, TheLochNessHump is a steaming pile of fecal matter rotting in the sun" kind of way. Not everyone has the same definition of "slutty" as you do. Having met bobkitty, I KNOW she's not slutty. Very aware of her sexuality, yes. Slutty, no. However, your sexual awareness/knowledge is only due to your enormous head stuck in your ass. You might want to go see a proctologist about that; it seems as if you're spewing your own shit all over this board.
|
|
#35
10-01-2001, 10:01 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
You're right. I was doing much better until you reminded me of the rest of the evening. No wonder I keep saying I hafta quit boozing. Then again, I probably -- no, without a shadow of a doubt -- wouldn't have dared to lay my quaking, liver-spotted, trembling....well, best you keep thinking it was my hand, on your lucious tummy without the bountiful help of Mr. Daniels  Oh yeah, and it's Orville, not Otis. Lecherously yours, ~Old Fart Newton PS-When are you coming back?
|
|
#36
10-01-2001, 10:06 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
So: Look here, you mentally inept excuse for a human being. i don't know what sort of fucking day you've had, or just exactly what sort of reaction you thought you'd get posting your shit, but your blatant jackass-ism has imbued an ire in me that I've not experienced in quite a while. Your empty-headed, neanderthal-like attitude is not only pathetic, but clearly off-kilter and just plain fucked-up. No one here is proclaiming that the world is a Utopia. All we're saying is that a shirt that bares one's midrift, even when worn in Vegas, is NOT a fucking free-pass for a skin-grabbing free-for-all. No matter how you play the cards, it is wrong. Your feeble attempts to fucking justify the dirty old man's behavior is pathetic. If any one here needs to get a grip, it is you, LochNessHump. So why don't you trot your ass back to the loch, fit yourself with some nice cement shoes, and go for a swim... the world will be a better place.
|
|
#37
10-01-2001, 10:06 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
And here's my legitimate gripe!
You obviously have NO GRASP of what the fuck "slutty" means! Please, oh genius of social interaction that you are, explain to poor ign'ant me exactly how and why the way one person dresses gives another person ANY RIGHT WHATSOEVER to touch her?
|
|
#38
10-01-2001, 10:07 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
DNFTT, people. He's obviously yanking us. Or he's incredibly stupid. Either way, not really worth any of us getting worked up.
|
|
#39
10-01-2001, 10:10 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Um, Nessie? Don't insult people because you are wrong. Go the fuck away. No, really, go away. No one will miss you.
P.s. I dress sexy every once in a while, and if you ever touched me because of it, I'd leave you wimpering puddle on the floor.
|
|
#40
10-01-2001, 10:10 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
p.s. - my vote is stupid, even if they are just trying to yank us...
|
|
#41
10-01-2001, 10:17 PM
|
||||||
|
||||||
|
Quote:
By the way, that picture is A) over a year old and B) not the only one of me on there. If you were a good little Dump, you'd have found the link on the page to a more gender-identifiable picture of me. I promise. Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
"The BBQ Pit If you gotta flame, do it here." Could we make this simpler for you, O He Who Cannot Seem to Fucking Read? *In case you're that devoid of a brain, let me assure you that this was most definitely sarcasm. When you're propositioned by both sexes, you know you have something going for you.
|
|
#42
10-01-2001, 10:36 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Aww, that's sweet. Iampunha, if you were a man, I'd kiss you.
|
|
#43
10-02-2001, 07:19 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
LNH, you're an idiot.
(another 'me too' post)
What she was wearing does not matter. I would almost put money on the fact that the sick old fuck would have found another reason to touch her if she'd been covered from neck to toe. The only time I was realistically GROPED in public, I was wearing long pants and a long sleeved turtleneck. The guy 'fell' on me and his hand landed on the inner joint of my thigh. In other words, he pretty much grabbed my fucking cunt. (there was noone else within a 5 meter radius. It was in a mall. No reason for him to stumble in my direction. I was too young to go kick his ass.) If she was an (to the subject) unattractive woman wearing the same outfit, she might have been left alone. If she was wearing a nun's habit, he probably would have tried for her ass instead. Also, on a side note, my uncle's brother treated me the same way this weekend for wearing a crossover tanktop. (hand on my shoulder, held a fucking wine bottle against my bare back, telling me how pretty I was, was I nice like my mother? I'd never fucking SEEN the guy before. My response: touch me again and you'll get a fist in the face.) Is that dressing like a highclass whore? At a wedding reception no less? PLUS IF YOU DONT LIKE US BITCHING ABOUT IT, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE PIT.
|
|
#45
10-02-2001, 09:20 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
First of all, bobkitty, another person who hopes never to piss you off, but wants to be on the list that can touch you.
Now, to the issue at hand. TheLochNessHump. You are obviously single and lonely, as you have no idea of how to talk to women. Or to even treat them. If, through some odd stroke of fate, you are involved with a woman, I hope she comes to her senses and leaves you for a nicer guy. The fact of the matter was this: Whether or not she was dressed provocatively does NOT give this cocknugget the right to put his hands on her. Some people are just dicks. I expected you to recognize one of your own kind in this old guy. Your "she was asking for it mentality" is exactly why we have double-standards, unequal pay for equal work, and all the other things that keep women treated inferior to men. It's assholes like you that keep women from being recognized as actually superior to men.
|
|
#46
10-02-2001, 10:11 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
How about the loose wool pants and cable-knit sweater that got both breasts squeezed? You brainless piece of barbarian shit. You're probably the asshole who did it. May your genitals crawl back up into your body and rot there.
|
|
#47
10-02-2001, 10:29 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
To everyone else (except Humper over there)... awwwww. Thanks, guys. You did a much better job than I. Though I did do mine in another language, which should get me extra points (especially with Jarbaby). Superdude, you may feel free to poke away. I just feel all warm and fuzzy right now. -BK
|
|
#48
10-02-2001, 10:38 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
ASKING FOR IT? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Quote:
BobKitty, you also have my sympathy for getting harrassed. IMNSHO, what he did deserves jail-time or physical retribution. But then, I'm a firm believer in the death penalty for rape. -Stil
__________________
If someone who commits a felony is a felon, and someone who commits gluttony is a glutton, then god is an iron.
|
|
#50
10-02-2001, 11:00 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Re: ASKING FOR IT? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
Quote:
Oh, and Humpy? Go crawl back into whatever maggot-infested roach motel you crawled out from. Any human (and I use the term very loosely) who claims to hold the views you do about women is either: A) a pus-eating troglodyte; or B) a camel-felching, pimply-faced teenager who just wants a reaction. My vote's on C) both of the above, plus a complete and utter waste of skin. Toodles, fuckchop (thanks, jarbabyj!). Don't let the back door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.
|
 |
| Bookmarks |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Linear Mode
