What's a girl gotta do for an orgasm? T M I

[tiny ham]

TMI? You bet.

Must be nice to be Mr. Jarbaby, eh? Must be FUCKING nice to have your wife pull your pants down in the middle of the living room after making you a gorgeous spaghetti dinner and ask for some sex.

MUST BE REALLY EXTRA DOUBLE DOG SUPER NICE TO HAVE AN ORGASM during that sex while your wife watches in complete fucking jealousy.

Here I am, a 29 year old woman, with womanly needs and this motherFUCKING Celexa (which I love love love, wouldn't trade it for the world) has taken a virtual melon baller to my libido and removed completely the hot juicy orgasm seed that was buried there.

I get horny. Oh, couldn't get rid of that. Couldn't just make me a borg...no. Couldn't get rid of the whole libido... Had to leave the horniness completely intact. Had to make it so I sit around like fucking Tantalus getting so horny I'm thinking about how Kenny Mayne would be in the sack...

But when it comes to gettin' down to Chinatown...there's no relief. I was HAMMERING at it yesterday, I'm not even kidding. Hand, dick, tongue, salami, loaf of party rye, black and decker power drill, lamprey eel...NOTHIN'

At this point in my life I'm fairly confident that I could stand naked in the middle of a Rammstein concert with a three foot gourd up my snatch with Brian Urlacher telling me how talented I am and someone feeding me Brie and I still couldn't rock the casbah.

What is the fucking deal? Must I trade off emotional stability for fruitless intercourse? Mind numbing depression or mind blowing orgasms?

DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE

An orgasm and orgasm. My fucking kingdom for an orgasm.

Crazy in Chicago,

jarbaby

[LindyHopper]

Oh, jarbabyj.

You know this thread is guaranteed to get, like, 10000 views.

That's the problem with these new antidepressants (maybe the old ones too; I don't know). Some doctors actually prescribe them for men who are having...stamina problems.

Not that I'd know anything about that.

_{Hey, you said TMI!}

[Venoma]

oh crikey. I can't stop laughing. Hehhehe. Sorry jb
In the 'pills are not a crutch' thread, someone mentioned a type that wasn't so damn hard on the old O machine. Go take a look.

[lieu]

Applications at the convent are up 39% since the advent of Celexa.

Talk about a habitual drug!

[Venoma]

link: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...3&pagenumber=1

featherlou posted it. Serzone. (don't know if it's right for you, but damn! what's a girl to do?)

[Feynn]

I take Wellbutrin and sexual disfunction is not a common side effect as it is with SSRI's. If anything, studies have shown that it can increase libido significantly.

Lamprey eel?

Kinky.

[kniz]

[list][list][list][list][list][list][list]Dreams are made of this![list]..........
....^wink!....

[Ethilrist]

Originally posted by LindyHopper
Oh, jarbabyj.

You know this thread is guaranteed to get, like, 10000 views.

That's the problem with these new antidepressants (maybe the old ones too; I don't know). Some doctors actually prescribe them for men who are having...stamina problems.

Not that I'd know anything about that.

_{Hey, you said TMI!}

So, maybe jarhubby needs to start taking something?

Or you could get some German language tapes and having them playing in the background, with tapes of Backdraft and some police movies playing on monitors all around the room...

[Gyrate]

Originally posted by lieu
Applications at the convent are up 39% since the advent of Celexa.

Talk about a habitual drug!

Yes, and they say Viagra is a gateway drug too -- it leads to harder things.

What I want to know is, does Mr. J know you post this stuff? Or, conversely, is he madly sending links to all his friends and acquaintances as a means of showing off? Enquiring minds and all that..

[Demise]

Actually, that must be somewhat frustrating for Mr. Jarbaby too. Especially if he could "hit the spot" pretty easily before.

Not to say it isn't far, far more frustrating for you Jarbaby. I couldn't imagine.

I've always prided myself of being good at getting a woman to cum, but one girl I was dating just couldn't. Not at all. I spent, literally, hours trying to bring her to orgasm to no avail. What a blow to the ego, eh?

Well, hopefully you'll get back to popping off at the drop of a hat!

[tiny ham]

Originally posted by jr8

What I want to know is, does Mr. J know you post this stuff? Or, conversely, is he madly sending links to all his friends and acquaintances as a means of showing off? Enquiring minds and all that..

Mr. jar tells me that he ocassionally monitors the SDMB to see what I'm posting. He's more concerned that I'm telling people our dog is retarded....although I don't know if he's seen this yet.

jar

[World Eater]

Christ im gonna be thinking about that gourd image for the rest of the day.

Sheesh

[Billy Baroo]

I usually defer to Madonna in these situations. What Madonna would do is squat over a big mirror and gaze at her pussy.

[Why A Duck]

Nothing to add, I just wanted to stand up and applaud the original rant. The bead of sweat running down my back owes it's existence to it. A fine juxtaposition of gourd, eel, and melon baller.

[smoke]

if that's OK in the Pit. IANAD, but I'm on the Celexa too, so I have my own ideas.

How soon after beginning this course of meds did you start to notice a... "problem"?

I only ask because I think it's very possible, after going through all of the mentally/emotionally fatiguing bullshit that one goes through before they go on meds and while they're searching for the "right" ones, as well as the "right" dosages, that once you find it, it's normal to feel like "Things CAN'T just be normal, can they?"

IOW, from my own experience, I wondered how long things could go on being good - waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.

So, I guess what I'm getting at is, is it possible you're psyching yourself out a little? I had this problem. The reason I ask how long after you started these meds did you start to notice a problem, is because, in my case, I was noticing problems before I'd been taking the meds long enough for them to possibly have ANY effects, let alone negative side effects.

YMMV, but good luck anyhow.

-j

[smoke]

Originally posted by World Eater
Christ im gonna be thinking about that gourd image for the rest of the day.

Sheesh

I second that!

[Sauron]

[channelling Jack Dean Tyler]
I bet Mr. jarbabyj is circumcised. That's the problem, right there. If he were uncircumcised, his foreskin would automatically provide the stimulation you need, even if your body was cut in half and you didn't have a vagina any more. You'd have a mind-blowing orgasm just by standing near his foreskin. Tell him to get a Tug-Ahoy.
[/channelling Jack Dean Tyler]

[El Elvis Rojo]

Just grab hubby by the ears and don't let him come up until he's done. Geeze, you'd think this was a calculus problem.


Seriously, I have a friend who had her first orgasm a couple of weeks ago, and she's been trying for a LOOOOONG time. A lot of it is mental, thouth. She has a very low self esteme problem, very bad personal appearance issues, and she's taking anti-depresants as well, so although she was hornier than all fuck, and getting it a lot, she just couldn't get off. Apparently, it just took a lot of time working out a system, a very understanding and willing boyfriend (a boyfriend "willing" to spend hours playing with his girlfriends privates...imagine the possibiliteis), and time. Don't get too stressed out about it, because then sex just becomes frustrating (as you already seem to be noticing) Work out a system to give yourself maximum exposure, and see how it goes. Sure, it's going to make sex somewhat formulaic for a while, but hopefully it will get the job done. Just be patient.

[tiny ham]

Elvis, no offense, but hours of oral ain't gonna do it.

I used to have orgasms all over the place...at the drop of a hat.

I'm not uptight about it, I'm a screamer from way back. I know it's just the medication, and I know eventually it will correct itself, but in the meantime I would like to come once in a while.

jar

[BoBettie]

Elvis, I don't think you are getting the issue. She was previously orgasmic, and no longer can have one, no matter what apparatus is used. This is a side effect of drugs like Celexa. It doesn't mean that she "can't have an orgasm", as in never could, never will. It means that she physiologically cannot have an orgasm. Her hoo-hoo seems to be broken. (well, the part of the brain that works with the hoo-hoo is, anyway)

Jar, go back to your doc and let him/her know the scoop. (I'd leave out the gourd part, myself. You don't want them throwing you in a straightjacket or anything!) Your doc may be able to adjust the dosage or change the med to better suit your "needs".

I agree with Sauron, too. Perhaps a magical sucking foreskin is just what the doctor ordered?

Zette

[tiny ham]

Thanks Zette.

I'm nervous to go to the doctor about it because I don't want to go off Celexa. It's so great, it's helped me a thousand fold. I don't want to change anything except I want an orgasm.

I hear perhaps taking some Gingko will up the ante

jar

[Gyrate]

The really annoying thing is that for some reason the title has set off the Klondike Bar jingle in my head ("What would you dooooo...for a Klondike Bar?"). Which means that I'll never be able to look a Klondike Bar in the face again.

_{Or a gourd, for that matter...}

[OpalCat]

Me too. Except that for me the whole libido is gone. I haven't seen hide nor hair of it for a few years now, and it's really frustrating... I'm sure moreso for my husband. I've actually started having sex again in the last year, because we're trying to have another baby, but it's hard.

I would LOVE to take wellbutrin... but I had one seizure, like 8 years ago, because of a drug interaction, and so I'm off the list. Fooey. I'm considering getting a new shrink and not telling him about that. I'm really sick of this. It was worse with Paxil... I don't think I would have been physically capable of intercourse on that. Switching to Celexa at least gives me that much.

[Cap'n Crude]

I hear perhaps taking some Gingko will up the ante

Before you start mixing drugs and herbs -- a good idea for the occasional weekend, but not for a lifetime -- maybe you should try a different drug.

IANAD, but I don't know of any particular reason for you to be so loyal to Celexa. After all, it's just one of many medications used to combat depression. Zoloft might work for you, and not cause the huge sexual side-effect. So might a lot of others.

However, I know from personal use that Zoloft can cause reduced sexual drive and/or performance, at least in males. _{Oh my god, I can't believe I posted that where people can read it ...} I found it to be a mild effect, and it cleared up once I was acclimated to the new med. The same with the dry mouth and the increased perspiration.

[CrankyAsAnOldMan]

jarbaby,

I am also on Celexa and my doctor made it very clear to me that if being nonorgasmic got to be a problem, to come back and see him. Changing medications is a possibility, but he said in his experience Celexa has the lowest side-effect profile, so if it wasn't otherwise bugging me with effects, switching to something else would not be our first effort. He said options included taking another (additional) medicine that helps with the sexual stuff, or working out a plan where I didn't take the Celexa the day before I knew we were gonna be gettin' the groove on.

I didn't remember all the details--don't rely on me because he was just throwing those out there casually when other things were more important to me. The important thing is that he said to come back about it. You ought to do this. It's a side effect I can live with, thus far, but it doesn't sound as though the medical community is helpless in dealing with it.

[bobkitty]

I'll third the gourd thing sticking in my head for the rest of the day.

And go on to say this.. I understand your pain, Jar. Been on Zoloft for almost two years, and Mr. Happy O was *not* a frequent visitor for a long time. At this point I can at least get him to pop in for tea now and then, but I've gotta coax him for a while. It was a rough, rough period of time.

You don't need to stop taking the meds. And herbal supplements really shouldn't be used in conjunction with antidepressents. BUT your doctor can do one of several things.. change the dosage or the med (which you seem reluctant to do), add in another med to counter the side effects (Mr. Bobkitty's doc did that, combining Wellbutrin with Paxil), or (*gasp*) give you an additional 'scrip for Viagra.

In the meantime, buzzing toys are your best friend.

-BK

[Cat Whisperer]

Venoma's right - I could be a spokesperson for Serzone. I tried Paxil, with exactly the result you're talking about, Jarbaby - the spirit was willing, but the flesh was apparently just not interested in going anywhere with it. Serzone is in the latest generation of SRRI drugs, I believe, with very few side effects even up to quite large dosages. I agree with everyone here who says talk to your doctor. There's lots of ways to get these cats de-furred.

[cykrider]

Hey Jarbaby did you just start taking the pills? When I first started zoloft, it took about 2-3 weeks till I was "back to normal." I hated the delay but Tokiwoki had a blast.

Think of it this way, if you can't hit the big O for a couple weeks or so, you'll probably have the most mind melting, earth shaking, sheet clenching, orgasm when you return to normal. Good luck!

[tiny ham]

I started about a month and a half ago.

I have HAD an orgasm or two in that time, but lord it took work: porn, toys, hubby, liquor, music...the whole shabang. Usually it just takes a good bitchslap on the Sopranos.

I just made an appointment with the doctor. I plan on throwing the door open and screaming. "Make me come, bitch"

we'll see how it goes.

jar

[Helen's Eidolon]

Originally posted by jarbabyj
I just made an appointment with the doctor. I plan on throwing the door open and screaming. "Make me come, bitch"

we'll see how it goes.

jar

Good luck with that

Acutally, I was gonna chime in and say you should see your doctor... Worse comes to worse, if the med change doesn't work out, you can go back to what you're on noow, not too much harm done.

[DoctorJ]

I just made an appointment with the doctor. I plan on throwing the door open and screaming. "Make me come, bitch"

Did I mention that I may have some openings in my clinic?

Dr. J

[Moirai]

Originally posted by jarbabyj
I just made an appointment with the doctor. I plan on throwing the door open and screaming. "Make me come, bitch"

Oh my goodness, talk about a visual. I am going to see my OB/GYN this afternoon, and I don't know if I will be able to keep a straight face with that running through my head!

jar, I sympathize. Mine drive is lower than it's ever been, and I can't blame the pregnancy, it's been going that way for a while. Once I get started, it's great (thank the goddess for husbands who love giving oral!), but the idea just doesn't move me to get started. Bummer.

[Ayesha]

Originally posted by Venoma
link: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...3&pagenumber=1

featherlou posted it. Serzone. (don't know if it's right for you, but damn! what's a girl to do?)

I went from Zoloft to Serzone, and it did help in the O department which made me very happy. Made the LIONsob happy too, when I went from 5 or more orgasms a session to none his ego was getting bruised.

[Lightnin']

Jar, I am so with you on this.

I stopped taking Celexa about three years ago, due to anorgasmia. My doctor put me on Wellbutrin.

[i]Rowrrrr{/i]!

I was so damn horny, all the time. Orgasms were not a problem. Unfortunately, my depression returned- while the drug didn't impede my orgasms, it also didn't impede my depression.

So the doc put me on Effexor. I'm a (reasonably) happy, sane person now.

Who can't have an orgasm to save his life.

Dammit.

I completely understand your frustration. I get so close, and then... nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Want to get together and not bother to have sex sometime, Jar?

[Lightnin']

Apparently, Effexor also affects my ability to format my posts correctly.

[SuaSponte]

Originally posted by jarbabyj
Usually it just takes a good bitchslap on the Sopranos.

Is that what you kids are calling it these days, or did you used to literally orgasm when watching someone get bitchslapped on the Sopranos?
Knowing you, that is definitely possible, so I don't think this question is all that stupid.

Sua

[tiny ham]

Seeing a good backhanded bitchslap administered to man or woman can literally bring me to within a hairsbreadth of orgasm.

Strange? You bet.

jar

[mischievous]

Note: This is NOT a "SSRIs are your crutch" post.

You can also try going off your meds. Eventually, I mean, probably not after only a couple months. I was in a relationship with a man on Paxil... Libido was okay, not great, but he was very difficult to bring to orgasm. Eventually, he got frustrated and went off the meds. He was shaky for a couple weeks, then stabilized nicely. He was fine without meds for several years, then went through a rough stress-spot and started taking them again. (I'm not with him anymore, but we are best of friends.)

My point being that even if you suffer from hard core depression and need meds to get you through, it does not necessarily mean that you need them all the time. They can work to break the cycle of depression. After that horrid downward spiral is broken, you may be okay. Additionally, it is hard to judge wether you still need them without several weeks off them, since you almost always get a temporary "low" during withdrawal.

But you probably know all this, and have judged your need for yourself.

mischievous
(who also suffers from periodic organic depression)

[Payne N. Diaz]

Sheesh, are all Dopers depressed? I can say this because I took Prozac for a while, switched to Effexor, then quit -- I had no interest in doin' it, or anything else, either. Just flat emotionally. I'd rather feel crappy, and still get a little sometimes, than feel nothing at all. I'm easier to live with.

[tradesilicon]

jarbaby, I don't mean to hijack your thread, but I just can't help but post this:

I saw your thread
"What's a girl gotta do for an orgasm?"
and then
" I see a man. Is he in Michigan? Does he have a finger up? Is it his middle finger? "

(I know this isn't the Sequential Threads thread, but just toooo cute...)

BTW, I hope you're gasms are back soon, 'cause this:

the hot juicy orgasm seed

an this:

I was HAMMERING at it yesterday, I'm not even kidding. Hand, dick, tongue, salami, loaf of party rye, black and decker power drill, lamprey eel.

just about gave me one. Hot damn lady, have you thought about putting out a few Novels to compete with Harlequin?

[Geobabe]

Talk to your doc, jar. I was on a combo of Celexa and Wellbutrin for a while. Wellbutrin not only helped with the libido problem, but actually caused me to have more intense orgasms. It's good stuff, baybee.

[Persephone]

jarbaby, talk to the doctor. I take Celexa too. However, I don't have a problem with orgasm. Maybe I'm lucky, or maybe I just went for so long without sex at all that by the time I actually did have sex, the side effects of Celexa had worn off (there's my TMI--hope no one minds).

But it can be corrected. Really. I understand your loyalty to Celexa, too--once you find an anti-depressant that actually works for you, you're loathe to give it up. But there's other meds you can take with Celexa to correct that problem, or if you absolutely must, you can switch to a different drug.

You haven't been on Celexa for that long, so you may just want to wait a little while & see if the big O comes back on it's own. But it's definitely something you'll want to discuss with your doctor.

Best of luck!

[SuaSponte]

Originally posted by jarbabyj
Seeing a good backhanded bitchslap administered to man or woman can literally bring me to within a hairsbreadth of orgasm.

Strange? You bet.

jar

Do virtual bitchslaps work? 'Cause there are a few idiots over in GD I can work over for yas. Anything to help.

Sua

[iampunha]

Originally posted by SuaSponte
Do virtual bitchslaps work? 'Cause there are a few idiots over in GD I can work over for yas. Anything to help.

Sua

::runs naked through thread with aforementioned GD idiots, then watches in horror as little bunny Sua bitchslaps them all.::

OW! HEY! You weren't supposed to bitchslap me too, you . . . icky lawyer person, you!

Oh. Fuck. I'm still naked.

::runs back out of thread and into "ask me anything" thread::

[Slip Mahoney]

Wimmins don't need no orgasms. It interferes with the cooking and laundry chores.

Us guys need them, though, or we go crazy. Okay, even more crazy.

Am I going to wish I could edit my post after I hit submit?

[robinh]

I'll give yet another suggestion that you discuss this with your psychiatrist.

I've been medicated twice. These days, I seem to do fairly well without it, but it is a struggle. It's always a choice, isn't it?

The first time, I took Zoloft. I did not have an orgasm for 18 months. No shit. When I went on the meds (this was 8 years ago), my primary care doctor stated that she had seen studies that linked sexual dysfunction to antidepressants, but "she didn't believe them." I decided not to believe them, either. Not that it did me much good. It was better than being depressed, though, so I didn't go off them until I wanted to get pregnant again.

I do fine when I'm pregnant and nursing. The hormones seem to have a positive effect. The second time I took nefazadone. It didn't have (for me) the sexual side effects. I actually felt almost normal, though a little more perky than usual. I went off meds again because we wanted to get pregnant again. Since having my last child, I have been able to make lifestyle changes that have allowed me to have better control over my moods. But if I ever feel I need to go back to meds, I'll ask for this.

Everyone reacts differently to different meds. I know that switching meds can be scary, but now that you know how you want to feel (and how the meds help you feel-less the specific dysfunction) maybe you could try some variations?

[Revedge]

I know that I am going to get flamed big time for this.

But, what the hell does "T M I" mean?

<ducks and runs for cover.>

[iampunha]

TMI=Too Much Information

[Revedge]

Thank you!

[Ginkgo]

I hear perhaps taking some Gingko will up the ante

Well, I'll give it the old college try...