Kipling’s RECESS- The Boy Who Would Be King of the Playground- T.J. Dettwiler & Gus Griswold venture among the Kindergardeners who regard TJ & Gus as God-Kings because of their Senor Fusion paraphanalia. They exploit this to dethrone Bob with tragic results…
The last line- an aged Gus “And Teej never let go of Safety-Man’s hand and Safety-Man never let go of Teej’s head…”
Hijack – you realize that they actually did make this movie? It had an only slightly different title – a Man Called Flintstone.
The Man Called Flintstone:
Whoa. Scary.
Mission: Kim Possible - Ron Stoppable attepmpts to win Kim’s admiration and love with a dangerous solo mission to steal the legendary Golden Rufus from Tom Cruise’s Beverly Hills home.
Me, Myself, and I, Robot
US Robotics screws up the programming on their latest models. Will Smith is suspicious.
Driving Miss Tique - An African-American chauffer drives a cantankerous shape shifter around who through many years becomes tolerant, shape shifts to match his skin, and demands she be called ‘Weezie’.
Human Torch Song Trilogy - The touching story of a super powered drag queen and his evolution through life, love, and asbestos gowns.
The Abominable Dr. Doom - A Latverian monarch who pines for his lost mother tortures and kills the men responsible for their deaths with the 12 plagues of Yancy Street.
The Unbearable Lightness of Being Speedball - The moving existential drama about being the most pathetic superhero spawned since Holoman.
ApocaFudd Now-
Bugs Bunny is sent to kill Agent Fudd, trusted hunter turned mad pagan god-king of a savage tribe. When he arrives, he finds Fudd dying & attended by a babbling devotee who is not just mad- he’s Daffy.
“Mistah Fudd- he dead!”
“The howwah! The howwah!”
Gadget Goes Hawaiian - Beach party fun as everyone’s favorite cyborg inspector takes a little vacation.
Garfield of Dreams - The world’s laziest cat is plagued with dreams and visions of a gigantic lasagna pan and oven in his backyard.
The Quickdraw and the Dead - Only one man … er, one horse is bold enough to restore order to a western town ruled by a settled petty criminal (played by Gene Hackman)… and that horse is El Kabong.
Texan propane dealer & family take in 18th century British prostitute… KING OF THE FANNY HILL
Tom Cruise is a barbarian racing around in a futuristic world with strange companions in Days of Thundarr the Barbarian.
Faster, Snagglepuss! Kill! Kill!
Cartoons get the Russ Meyer treatment.
The Huckleberry Hound of the Baskervilles
Holmes faces his most baffling case yet.
Yu-Gi-Oh-klahoma!
What better way to introduce children to movie musicals than to hook them on a collectable card game?
OK, I’ll stop after this…
PokeMonster
Ash’s eyes open REALLY wide when he collects the rarest “pocket monster” of all: a topless Halle Berry.
I think that paves the way for a very different string of ‘pocket monster’ jokes.
I did a whole long page of movies like this once. None involved cartoons, but maybe I can cheat and sneak this in:
2001: A Muppets from Space Odyssey
When a strange, shrieking monolith is discovered on the moon, Gonzo is sent to the planet Jupiter to learn the source of its secrets. His only companion (and greatest foe) is the computer HAL-9000. Stanley Kubrick directs.
And now that I look at the page, a friend of mine actually came up with that one. Oh well.
The Last Unicron - the last member of a near extinct species of giant planetary-scale robots searches for his place in the universe… and a way to destroy Cybertron once and for all.
They did it with a slightly different title:
I kid you not!
Not exactly a cartoon, but think of the merchandising possiblities:
The Legend of Zelda: Wind Talker
Starring Nicholas Cage as Link
Recessssssssss!
A mad herpetologist turns a bunch of tweens into cobras.
Timothy TuxeDo The Right Thing
When ethnic violence breaks out, a Bed-Stuy pizza delivery penguin is torn: is he black? Is he white?