We used to talk about doing this years ago, but never did. However, she has several friends from her nursing class who have made her interested in going. I have expressed fantasies about her having sex with other men, but fantasies and reality are a different matter (which is to say I don’t know for sure how I would feel). Has anyone else out there experienced this (preferably married) and if so how did the experience go?
What the hell kind of nursing class do you go to??
These things almost universally turn out bad. I’m not against them on the face, but that’s the sad truth.
IMHO, the only good threesome is the one with two very hot members of the opposite sex when nobody is attached to anybody. Those are very hard to come by, and even when/if you’re lucky enough to get there, they’re highly overrated… the girls tend to pay more attention to each other and you’re forced to play “pick a hole” when it’d probably be more fun to go watch TV. Trust me on this.
Further, when four people, two couples, are involved, the stakes quadruple. I took a girl I’d been dating 6 weeks to Hedonism II in Jamaica, and though we were both hip with threesomes including other girls, watching her jam her tongue up some stranger man’s asshole was enough to turn me off of her forever.
My wife? Hell no, I couldn’t watch her kiss or fuck another man, though other women never seemed to bother me that much…
I’ve read previous threads about your relationship with your wife and it’s already strained… I tend to think this idea would more likely be the revelation than the salvation, but I guess either is possible.
A divorce.
An ugly, messy, bitter divorce but only after years of painful recriminations.
And there was me, opening the thread, thinking this would be about dancing.
My 2c: happy, close, trusting marriage - tread carefully. Any other kind of marriage at all - probably signals the end. What is marriage without monogamy after all?
Lots of guys in zoot suits, a crooner, and a large brass section.
Skipping Towards Gomorrah by Dan Savage has a good chapter on this. And it’s not all gloom and doom.
Let’s not go there, m’kay? 
But I do have to agree that this is probably Not A Good Thing[sup]TM[/sup]. Not because I think Swing Clubs are inherently evil (never been to one, but there’s a oogey factor there for me), but because I have read other threads about the problems in this particular marriage, and it doesn’t sound like a good option at this time.
Opening a monogomous marriage up to other partners is much, much harder than having an open marriage from the start. Changing the rules often leaves one questioning why it can’t be “like it was before,” or why “I’m not enough anymore.”
Polyamory takes clear, honest communication, excellent trust and firm love and, beyond all else, a desire to make BOTH of you happy. If you’re grudgingly doing it for her, you might as well file for divorce this afternoon. If you “don’t know for sure how I would feel,” and you can’t communicate that with your wife completely openly and honestly and trust her to really listen to you and work through your doubts, rather than trying to talk you into what she wants to do, you might as well file for divorce.
If you grit your teeth and hate the experience and are filled with a jealous rage and can’t trust that your wife will sense that, listen to that and stop what she’s doing immediately…you see where I’m going here, right?
None of us know for sure how we’d feel until we’re there. What’s important is that we have our best friend in the world there, with us in this relationship, working through the rough spots and being completely willing to hang it all up if it doesn’t feel right in the moment. Frankly, I don’t think you have that sort of relationship with your wife at the moment.
Polyamory is NOT marital therapy, and it’s not for every couple!
I’ve never been to a swing club and I’m amazed they exist at all these days. What do they do about STDs, especially HIV?
Anyway, I did experiment with polyamory. My wife and I and another couple tried it in our early twenties. I’d just point out that the divorce happened about a year later. It wasn’t totally the swinging but it was DEFINATELY a contributing factor.
My advice? “Don’t!”
Regards
Testy
I’ve got a bit of experience in this. It doesn’t have to turn out bad at all if everyone goes into it with the same expectations and limits are respected. Email if you’d like and I’d be happy to give you a more detailed answer.
I think you’re missing the bigger questions here:
Where are these nursing classes and how does one sign up? 
/snags that for personal use.
also seconds it
Not necessarily. It might only take a few weeks.
Well…
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[li]Titanic[/li][li]Iceberg[/li][li]Rich Lawyers.[/li][li]:([/li][/ul]
Say “no”, suggest marriage counceling.
Since you’re asking and we’re dealing with hypotheticals, I’m left wondering how a divorce lawyer–possibly yours, possibly hers–might spin this unconventional, potentially explosive, experience. Will the particulars be incriminating in any way, or will it be considered a wash? Believe me, one of you will eventually talk about it and, if and when it hits the fan, it will be ugly. What goes around, comes around.
No disrespect, but many of your threads sadden me. Best of luck in school.
The sleazy guy fucking your wife will look up at you and say “You’ve been X’d. I’m Jamie Kennedy and your on my hidden camera show The Jamie Kennedy Experiment.” Much laughter will ensue.
I second this advice. I don’t have a problem with the idea of swing clubs.
You might get your freak on, but you have already mentioned in other that you resent the fact that she has given sexual favors to others, that she does not give to you. Combine this with a bitterness of not getting enough sex from her. You will see her have sex with a stranger (and potentially really getting into it). This is a train wreck waiting to happen.
Nothing good will come of this.
Sheesh people.
No, it’s not all gloom and doom. And it doesn’t necessarily lead to divorce. Millions of people participate in stuff like this every year and enjoy it…why do you think the clubs exist in the first place?
I think you’re better off going directly to the Dan Savage book.
Certainly hasn’t been my experience.
Have you read any of Roland’s posts concerning the state of his marriage? I think THAT is why people are predicting “gloom and doom.”