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Old 07-02-2005, 05:22 PM
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TV's new Fall Bombs - Predictions


Well, it's summer rerun time, and that's when I take a certain amount of schadenfreude in predicting which Fall television shows won't make it for a full season, based upon their capsule descriptions. Let's face it, most of the time it's shooting fish in a barrel, but there are occasional surprises:

Hack. Who would have thought that a vigilante cab driver would have made it out of the idea stage, let alone last a couple of years? Mostly on the talent of David Morse and Andre Braugher, but that one surprised me (with its staying power, I still think it was a piece of crap).

Alias. A spy show by the creator of Felicity? Whoda thunkit? And I'm still watching it, and now Abrams can do whatever the hell he wants...

So, here are the links:

ABC

CBS

NBC

For ABC, I'm voting for Commander-In-Chief, with Geena Davis. Just too Hillary for most folks, I think, and you have to be smart if you're doing political drama. And a show about a woman balancing the needs of being a good mom while serving as the Commander In Chief just isn't.

For CBS, I was tempted to vote for Closer to Home, but I'm not sure I want to vote against Bruckheimer. I'm voting for Ghost Whisperer, with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Kinda like Patricia Arquette, but more top-heavy.

For NBC, aww WTF, I'm voting against Bruckheimer after all with E-Ring. Dennis Hopper on TV? And he can't swear or take drugs and he has to wear a uniform? He'll implode before the season is over.

Any others?
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Old 07-02-2005, 05:46 PM
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All the new shows look absolutely wretched.
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Old 07-02-2005, 06:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Otto
All the new shows look absolutely wretched.
I agree.

Threshold, Kolchak, and Invasion all might be good. Or they might be insipid attempts to repeat Lost and/or the X-Files. I'm guessing the latter.

Likewise, E-Ring might be good if written intelligently. "Bruckheimer" and "intelligent" are seldom seen in the same sentence.

Good call on Commander in Chief. I'd be very surprised if that had any quality at all.

The depressing thing here is that there's nothing new here. Medium and Lost were two big hits last year, so we've got a string of supernatural thrillers. The West Wing was a big hit, and remains fairly popular, so we've got political dramas like E-Ring and Commander in Chief.

And then there's the regular crop of banal sitcoms and hour-long romantic comedies. Can we at least try something new? I'm already watching the shows I like. I don't need a dozen more just like them.
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Old 07-02-2005, 06:46 PM
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I thought Jason Lee had more sense than that.
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Old 07-02-2005, 06:50 PM
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I thought Jason Lee had more sense than that.
R-i-i-ight!
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Old 07-02-2005, 06:58 PM
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Threshold and Surface look like they could be good, but the networks will probably find some way to stink them up.

With the caveat that there may be some hidden quality that will make these shows better than their precis make them look:

ABC Bomb -- Night Stalker. Looks like they took the fun and whimsy elements that made the stories fun to watch and elevated it to serious demon stalking. In other words, dull.

CBS Bomb -- How I Met Your Mother -- Great idea for a movie or TV movie. But a series? One trick pony will fold quickly if there's not something more to it.

Four Kings -- Four guys are really good buddies and hang around. Another show about nothing, it sounds like. But unless they have Seinfeldian writing talent at work, there's no "there" there.

Basically, all of the shows look like losers except Threshold and Surface.
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Old 07-02-2005, 08:11 PM
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Great. Now I can wipe Marisol Nichols and Erika Christensen off of my "I'd Slit My Mother's Throat to Spend A Weekend In An Anonymous Hotel Room With a Case of Vaseline and This Girl" list.
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Old 07-02-2005, 08:18 PM
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For ABC, I'm voting for Commander-In-Chief, with Geena Davis. Just too Hillary for most folks, I think, and you have to be smart if you're doing political drama.
If you're implying that Geena Davis isn't smart, you're way off. She's a member of Mensa.
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Old 07-02-2005, 09:36 PM
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If you're implying that Geena Davis isn't smart, you're way off. She's a member of Mensa.
Hmmm, I reread my post and I'm not sure how you interpreted my comment that way. However, let's try it again...

What I was implying is that a political drama (or sitcom for that matter) has to be smart and engaging or it will self destruct. Look at The West Wing; most of the episodes are fast, witty, and very well written, and the few that aren't land like lead balloons. I think that this show will eventually devolve into predictable pap like Mom agonizing over not spending enough quality time with the husband and the kids, making time for quick little picnics with the family and a few dozen Secret Service agents, getting advice on getting along with others from the cute but wise 6 year old, ad nauseum...

I like Geena Davis too. I'm sure she is smart. But looking at the premise of this show, she's probably hungry as well.
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Old 07-02-2005, 10:25 PM
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Great. Now I can wipe Marisol Nichols and Erika Christensen off of my "I'd Slit My Mother's Throat to Spend A Weekend In An Anonymous Hotel Room With a Case of Vaseline and This Girl" list.
Leah Remini? Lynsey Bartilson? Noooooo!!!
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Old 07-02-2005, 10:29 PM
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Lynsey Bartilson? Noooooo!!!
I LOVE this quote:

"One time I was filming a movie called, Mrs. Santa Clause with Angela Lansbury. She was in the middle of a big emotional scene with me and a fly fell on my nose during a take. I just kept going and didn't worry about it. If I had started laughing or something it would have been awful, because everyone was very uptight and nervous. Scientology helped me to be able to confront ANY situation."
  #12  
Old 07-02-2005, 10:34 PM
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I thought Jason Lee had more sense than that.
All the reviews I've read so far have said that My Name is Earl is pretty good and one of the shows to actually watch this fall. Maybe the various reviewers just liked it in comparison to the other awful pilots they had to watch, but it sounds funny to me, and I'll give it a watch or two.
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Old 07-02-2005, 10:53 PM
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Damnit. ABC had to ruin the best night of television ever. I used to be able to watch Lost at 8, Mythbusters at 9, and Alton Brown at 10. Now they've gone and screwed it up.

And shame on Jason Lee. A crappy sitcom on NBC? I don't think it'll last a month, which is good as it will open up room to bring Scrubs back to the lineup.
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Old 07-02-2005, 10:59 PM
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Sorry about the hijack, but great Xenu, I had the biggest crush on Lynsey Bartilson (the daughter from Grounded for Life) and Leah Remini was the only reason I watched King of Queens for that half-season.

Random thoughts as I go:
ABC
-Invasion: The 4400 called. They want their idea back.
-Emily's...: The novel may bring in the women. Heather Graham may bring in the men. Good writing may keep both. My fingers are crossed.
-Commander in Chief: I'll give it a try, but I'm not hopeful.
-In Justice: Good idea. See my thoughts on Commander in Chief.

CBS and my computer aren’t getting along.

NBC
-Surface: Yawn. Tell you what: include a talking dolphin, Aquaman, and her and we’ll talk. My pick to bomb.
-The Apprentice: Martha Stewart: This is going to be a hit. Curse you, American people!

What? No Fox?
-The War at Home: Confessionals?! It worked for Drawn Together, but with a live action show? BOOM!
-Arrested Development: ITS’ BACK! ITS’ BACK! Just felt like celebrating. Portia d’Rossi isn’t a scientologist, but she is a lesbian. :Grumble:
-Reunion: See Commander in Chief.


Superdude, I didn’t think she was a Mensa member I just wanted to nail her. Mmmm, redheads.
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Old 07-02-2005, 11:03 PM
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Superdude, I didn’t think she was a Mensa member I just wanted to nail her. Mmmm, redheads.
Hey, I love redheads as much as - if not more than - the average guy. But I prefer Kate Winslet or Angie Everhart.
  #16  
Old 07-02-2005, 11:12 PM
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Threshold and Surface look like they could be good, but the networks will probably find some way to stink them up.
::mumbles something inarticulate and disparaging regarding Brannon Braga, Star Trek, and stinkage::
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Old 07-03-2005, 01:15 AM
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Another little known fact about Geena Davis.

The only reason I am dubious about the success of the show is the fact that it is a bit too West Wing...then again, I think West Wing will go off the air the minute Martin Sheen leaves, so who knows...maybe Geena will pick up where West Wing left off.

Actually, I am more surprised about the crap that is remaining on the air (King Of Queens is still there?!)...and the Martha Stewart thing looks horrible, but I pretty much hate all reality shows so my bias might be entering into my hope prediction it will be a bomb.
  #18  
Old 07-03-2005, 01:33 AM
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If you're implying that Geena Davis isn't smart, you're way off. She's a member of Mensa.
Then how do you explain Cutthroat Island?
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Old 07-03-2005, 02:13 AM
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I read the blurb of "Commander-in-Chief", ugh. Apparently the President who is dying and handing Davis the job wants her to step down and so just most of her party. So she's going to be fighting her own party as well. Geena against the world. It just seems like it'll be too cheesy.
  #20  
Old 07-03-2005, 02:35 AM
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Then how do you explain Cutthroat Island?
She'll do anything for love? Of course, that doesn't explain how Renny Harlin manages to get any other actor to agree to appear in his movies...
  #21  
Old 07-03-2005, 02:40 AM
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She'll do anything for love? Of course, that doesn't explain how Renny Harlin manages to get any other actor to agree to appear in his movies...
Three-ways?
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Old 07-03-2005, 02:47 AM
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Three-ways?
I don't think Matthew Modine swings that way.
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Old 07-03-2005, 03:28 AM
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I seriously doubt that this so-called "ABC's NFL Monday Night Football" will have any real staying power.
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Old 07-03-2005, 01:31 PM
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I am not ashamed to say I want GHOST WHISPERER to flop REALLY big only as proof that Joan's God is indeed a Vengeful and Just Deity.
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Old 07-03-2005, 05:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Plynck
Well, it's summer rerun time, and that's when I take a certain amount of schadenfreude in predicting which Fall television shows won't make it for a full season, based upon their capsule descriptions. Let's face it, most of the time it's shooting fish in a barrel, but there are occasional surprises:

Hack. Who would have thought that a vigilante cab driver would have made it out of the idea stage, let alone last a couple of years? Mostly on the talent of David Morse and Andre Braugher, but that one surprised me (with its staying power, I still think it was a piece of crap).

Alias. A spy show by the creator of Felicity? Whoda thunkit? And I'm still watching it, and now Abrams can do whatever the hell he wants...

So, here are the links:

ABC

CBS

NBC

For ABC, I'm voting for Commander-In-Chief, with Geena Davis. Just too Hillary for most folks, I think, and you have to be smart if you're doing political drama. And a show about a woman balancing the needs of being a good mom while serving as the Commander In Chief just isn't.

For CBS, I was tempted to vote for Closer to Home, but I'm not sure I want to vote against Bruckheimer. I'm voting for Ghost Whisperer, with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Kinda like Patricia Arquette, but more top-heavy.

For NBC, aww WTF, I'm voting against Bruckheimer after all with E-Ring. Dennis Hopper on TV? And he can't swear or take drugs and he has to wear a uniform? He'll implode before the season is over.

Any others?
What CBS? No new CSI's? Did you run out of Who songs?
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Old 07-03-2005, 05:41 PM
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I don't know that it looks any sillier than most years.

There seem to be a shit-ton of new ensemble dramas where lots of weird, unexplained stuff happens. On the one hand, it's unlikely any of them will rise to the level of Lost; on the other, maybe one of them will.

I can't believe NBC is just planning to just stick Scrubs in somewhere. I'll grant that it may not have more than a year or two left in it before it gets played out, but it's the best comedy they have by a longshot. Yet they treat it like it's filler. The least that it deserves is a consistent time slot.
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Old 07-03-2005, 06:43 PM
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What CBS? No new CSI's? Did you run out of Who songs?
CSI: Cleveland was supposed to have "Mama's Got a Squeezebox", but all those who have seen the pilot went mad and ate their own faces.
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Old 07-04-2005, 06:14 AM
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I can't believe NBC is just planning to just stick Scrubs in somewhere. I'll grant that it may not have more than a year or two left in it before it gets played out, but it's the best comedy they have by a longshot. Yet they treat it like it's filler. The least that it deserves is a consistent time slot.
The good news at least is that the guy who created it said in an interview said that it pulls down good enough ratings that it'll never be cancelled outright, and he has enough experience with the TV game that he's probably right. Now if only he had a more memorable name!
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Old 07-04-2005, 11:20 AM
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I seriously doubt that this so-called "ABC's NFL Monday Night Football" will have any real staying power.
I predict it will only last one season on ABC, and then force a move to NBC. NBC will then switch it Sunday nights, replace half of the cast and go onto a long run.

Kind of like the times it lost JAG and Baywatch....
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Old 07-04-2005, 01:03 PM
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I've seen pilot screeners for Everybody Hates Chris, Prison Break and Supernatural .

Of them Supernatural is the only one that I really enjoyed, and even that wasn't anything earth-shattering.

Mostly, I'm excited about returning shows. Less than two weeks 'til new Battlestar!

thwartme
  #31  
Old 07-04-2005, 06:27 PM
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I'm not good at predicting (see my current Death Pool standings), but I don't see much hope for Everybody Hates Chris surviving past December.

Personally, I haven't felt much enthusiasm for television since Star Trek and MST3K went down.
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Old 07-05-2005, 01:44 AM
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Mostly, I'm excited about returning shows. Less than two weeks 'til new Battlestar!
Holy crap, I'd forgotten! WOO!!!!
  #33  
Old 07-05-2005, 01:23 PM
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CSI: Cleveland was supposed to have "Mama's Got a Squeezebox", but all those who have seen the pilot went mad and ate their own faces.
I'm having a vision with Drew Carey in it here - it's not clear, but he's in it somewhere.
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Old 07-05-2005, 01:43 PM
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The good news at least is that the guy who created it said in an interview said that it pulls down good enough ratings that it'll never be cancelled outright, and he has enough experience with the TV game that he's probably right. Now if only he had a more memorable name!
Bill Lawrence is the creator of Scrubs.
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Old 07-05-2005, 02:40 PM
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What? No Fox?
It just wouldn't be Fox without a canceled, but brilliant show, so I predict either American Dad, or Mad Tv will increase in quality, then get canceled two weeks later.
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  #36  
Old 07-05-2005, 02:49 PM
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No, no Scott, its going to be Arrested Development. It'll go out strong though and fans will threaten to storm Rupert's office unless all the episodes are shown.
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Old 07-05-2005, 02:54 PM
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No, no, no. The Fox philosophy is to cancel a show just as it is getting good. To cancel a show after it has risked cancellation, and has been good for a long time misses the whole point!
  #38  
Old 07-05-2005, 02:55 PM
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I've already heard CiC referred to derisively as The Breast Wing. That and the fact that everything Geena Davis has been associated with in the last decade has been unilaterally unbearable, and even a promising supporting cast does not bode well.
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Old 07-05-2005, 03:23 PM
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I've seen pilot screeners for Everybody Hates Chris, Prison Break and Supernatural
Of them Supernatural is the only one that I really enjoyed, and even that wasn't anything earth-shattering.
Prison Break. Yeah, how did I miss that? With Dominic Purcell from John Doe, another production doomed to extinction...
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Old 07-05-2005, 03:54 PM
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OK, here's my picks for next season:

She's the Fuhrer
Geena Davis as Eva Braun, who takes over the Third Reich after Hitler dies in an amusing Blitz accident.

Boo!
The ghost of a murder victim solves murders.

CSI East Bumfuck, Kansas
Crack team of crime-solvers sits around and waits for one of the town's five residents to start murdering someone.
  #41  
Old 07-05-2005, 04:24 PM
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OK, here's my picks for next season:

She's the Fuhrer
Geena Davis as Eva Braun, who takes over the Third Reich after Hitler dies in an amusing Blitz accident.

Boo!
The ghost of a murder victim solves murders.

CSI East Bumfuck, Kansas
Crack team of crime-solvers sits around and waits for one of the town's five residents to start murdering someone.
What Who song did it feature?
  #42  
Old 07-05-2005, 05:03 PM
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ABC Bomb -- Night Stalker. Looks like they took the fun and whimsy elements that made the stories fun to watch and elevated it to serious demon stalking. In other words, dull.
I actually got to preview this show, just the first episode. It was alright but I could see it getting really bad if they go in the wrong direction in further episodes.
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Old 07-05-2005, 05:29 PM
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CSI East Bumfuck, Kansas
Crack team of crime-solvers sits around and waits for one of the town's five residents to start murdering someone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ouryL
What Who song did it feature?
Fiddle About, from Tommy.

Let's just say the test audience of CSI: Cleveland were the lucky ones.
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Old 07-05-2005, 08:37 PM
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Boo!
The ghost of a murder victim solves murders.
My god, woman, don't give them ideas!
  #45  
Old 07-05-2005, 10:08 PM
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Inconceivable. I told my wife that looked it like a crappy comedy. She expressed doubt that it is a comedy. Maybe it's just a joke. Either way, it looks like a bowel movement.

The Earl show looks promising.

For me the big news is that Veronica Mars is coming back despite finishing 184th in the ratings this year.
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Old 07-05-2005, 10:25 PM
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The only way "Inconcievable" ends up being any good is if it is actually a show about the Adventures of Fezzik, Vizzini, and Inigo Montoya .
  #47  
Old 07-05-2005, 11:30 PM
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CBS Bomb -- How I Met Your Mother -- Great idea for a movie or TV movie. But a series? One trick pony will fold quickly if there's not something more to it.
But it has Alyson Hannigan! And Jason Segel from Freaks & Geeks. I really hope it's good because I like both of these actors.

Honestly, I have no idea which of these will be worth watching. I'll probably give How I Met... a chance, Reunion sounds interesting if they can pull it off, and Criminal Minds could be cool considering that it's got Mandy Patinkin. Probably one of the alien/supernatural ones will be good. Anyone have any idea which ones to bother with?
  #48  
Old 07-06-2005, 06:07 AM
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For me the big news is that Veronica Mars is coming back despite finishing 184th in the ratings this year.
Only this time, it'll be up against Lost. It isn't gonna be pretty.
  #49  
Old 07-06-2005, 07:24 AM
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Probably one of the alien/supernatural ones will be good. Anyone have any idea which ones to bother with?
My Secret Identity is being renewed? Yeeesss!
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Old 07-06-2005, 12:33 PM
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What Who song did it feature?
"Now I'm a Farmer" (from Odds and Sods)?
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