Can I interest you in low-cost electrolysis?
Wow, I’ve never seen crabs bungee jump before.
You guys have me dying laughting over here!
Bad Question: Where’s that echo coming from?
Can you move out of the way of the TV?
(Married people should get this)
Next time you should iron that thing before you put it on.
Stolen from an old “Bloom County”…
“You gals store fat for the winter in your thighs, right?”
Are you sure you’re in the right hotel room?
Why do I suddenly crave a roast beef sandwich?
Is it supposed to be that hairy?
Would you like some jam and jelly to go with your rolls?
Gina! Couldn’t it wait until after the Star Trek marathon?
No, you don’t have to swallow…
Say Cheese!
Can’t you wait until I finish watching these six webcams?
These are NOT, repeat NOT from personal experience, even though I have been married for nigh upon ten years (and lived in sin with my now-wife for several years before that), and am often responding to email or reading message boards just before bedtime.
“Have you seen the remote?”
“I’m out of toilet paper in here, a little help, please!”
“I think I ate too much at dinner.”
“What’s your sister’s email address again?”
And the #1 worst thing to say (depending on the tone and context):
“Could you turn off the lights?”
Oh, and if I really want to drop a cold blanket on any developing ardor, I just need to trot out my Butthead impersonation: “Hey, beh-bee. Huh-huh… Huh.”
She hates Beavis and Butthead.
Alright, we’re done here. Roll 'em back up.
Have you considered surgery?
Whoah, are you half-zebra? Never seen a woman with stripes before! (stretch marks)
I wasn’t your first choice tonight, was I?
Haha! i remember that steve dallas line.