Things NOT to say during sex

This time I want to be the woman

Have you accepted Jesus yet?

Whats that awful smell?

etc etc

I started this topic on another forum, 15 years ago. The topic is still going, with over 5000 unique replies. The inspiration was this page, which is amazingly still there, exactly the same. If I had the time and energy, I would make a page with all 5,344 responses from the other topic. These include over 4000 disgusting yet funny one liners, multiple paragraph responses, and some really funny shit. I don’t go to the other forum much anymore, but it used to be a daily stop. The forum does not show up on Google, which is good, as it is an uncensored forum, almost anything goes, but a source will be provided upon request, if you doubt this is true, which it is, now stop reading and post something.

You do that almost as well as your sister does.

Oh, I have to take this call. You go on without me.

Did you know Ebola sometimes stays in the body for months after?

When’s your mom coming to visit again?

What do you think about babies?

I’ve had better.

You want to do WHAT?!

Huh. I’ve never seen one like that before.

You used to last a lot longer

Was that supposed to come off?

Ow! Damn spiders.

My imaginary friend wants to know if you’re into threesomes.

Eh, I don’t know. When I was married we would talk about mundane shit all the time during sex. Including stuff like: “Who’s going to pick the kids up from school?” , “Did you take the chicken out of the freezer to thaw?”, “What’s on TV tonight?”

Bonus points for actually watching TV during sex. :smiley:

Isn’t that where the MILILF porn is?

The classic “That looks like a penis, only smaller.”

“Um, you wouldn’t happen to be into unexpected scat-play, would you?”

Cleveland steamers for everyone!

OMG, were you in an accident?

Oh yeah, just like that. Oh that feels so good. Oh yes! Oh yes! Yes! Yes grandma, yes!